my mother, grandmother and my whole family doesn't accept me for me.?

Question

I'm fat. I'm 5'10 and 260 pounds. I'm a big tall girl and also fat. I know i have to change things for my health... but my grandmother wants me to change because of my looks and how i look to people. She tells me my youth is wasted and im not going no where in life because im fat. My mother says the same things to me and she degrades me to them and tells my family all the negative things i do and never my accomplishments. she calls me out my name all the time.. says im never gonna progress in college.. and even when i wasnt that fat at all i use to be 180 pounds i still went through this. she put me through all hell. i really feel hate for them right now because it shouldnt be like this. but im tired and im ready to move out of my house and not see them again. i dont let them make me feel like a loser... but thats what they see me as. my grandmother told me i have no future because im FAT. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Answer 1

Their well intentioned comments hurt you because your family is supposed to love you unconditionally.It is unfortunate that people do not see people for their positive charactistics and not just the physical appearance.Take a quiet moment and say these things to yourself.I'm smart,kind,responsible,honest and loving.I have good values and goals in life.You must know that outer beauty can be fleeting (fire,accidents,disease etc.) Believe in yourself.You are correct that trying to maintain a healthy body weight is better for your health.It appears you may be an emotional eater ( but I am no expert,it's just my impression).Your family may unwittingly be sabatoging you.Make an appointment with your family doctor who could also refer you to those people can help you reach your fitness goals. DON'T LET ANYONE DETER YOU FROM SUCCESS. You can do it,one day at a time. Try not let hate fill up your days( although your feelings are valid),just keep saying I can do it. Good luck to you.

Answer 2

Try to lose weight. Make it a priority, and dedicate your worries to your eating, as it has affected your family beyond which they can endure.
Go to a hypnotist, in my area they have a study for people 20 to 70 pounds overweight, and it is free. Look up your local hospitals, some offer free safe help, and it works.
Show your family you are taking action to lose some of the weight. It won't help them be nicer to you, although it will stop the insults. You are feeling as awful, as they feel because of your weight problem. It shows everyone (whether true or not) "I don't care about myself". Your family cares enough to say anything, although you've pushed these people too far. Every day which goes by and you don't lose weight, you are the wrong person.
Ask for prayers, you aren't a bad person. Go to church. Do civic things to keep yourself distracted as the weight comes off. Drink skim milk, and eat vegetables, it helps. It isn't good for your health.
My baby sister died a few years ago, and some of it was from being overweight, and the insults, etc. (I lived on the West Coast, and would call her, she wrote, never talked on the telephone) I was clueless as to how great her problem was until my son said she's dying, didn't you know? I knew she was estranged from my older sisters, they have girls, and a lot of it was her weight. They didn't want her near their husbands, and younger children. My mom said to leave her alone, leave her be, as she was the baby, and we always let her have her way.
With three hours time difference, I knew the moment she died, the window and ocean came toward me, and then upward toward the trees. I remembered small things I'd done for her, and I loved her. (she was the second sister i lost) This was more peaceful. She was sad, although wasn't condemned. Please lose the weight, get a different attitude. Good luck.

Answer 3

Your parents are just worried, honey thats all. If you have insurance please get online and look up Lap Band, find a location near a big city by you. Bet your parents will back you cause its on their insurance for this in most cases! It is quick and easy and it would reduce your hunger and is not dangerous. If I could hug you and tell you this help could get you on the road to really helping I'd hug away! Your not alone either boys and girls and old people are having this very same health issue girl so don't put your self negative! Were with ya!

Answer 4

you should love them for who they are yet get that negativity out of your life...get out as fast as you can...you're in college so i don't see why you can get a studio apartment, roommate or be on campus...first you should tell them how you feel...if that doesn't work (if it goes through one ear and out the other) or (they stop for a while and then start up again) then just walk away every time they do say something degrading...do some psychology on them...like every time they say something you don't like...tell them...sometimes parents think that by verbally abusing is going to get you on the right track...but you know it's not...and they need to realize that it's not...I don't think that you can change the why your parents or grandparents act (because they are set in their ways) so you are going to have to change...get a place of your own because once you feel positive about yourself everything else will change

Answer 5

First of all confront your family and tell them that when they insult your weight, looks and character it hurts your feelings. Tell them that this doesn't help you in any way and in fact is probably damaging to anything that you may try to do...like lose weight. If they continue with this behavior, then move out. You don't need to put up with this verbal abuse. If they are negative people who feel the need to insult others, even their own blood, because they're miserable then it's probably best for you to stay away. People like this are toxic.

As far as your weight goes...lose it for you. Lose it because you want to be healthy.

Answer 6

Simply smile, and Say "Thank You". When you don't show that what they say effects you, they usually get bored with it. If yu decide to lose weight, it should be your decision, four your own reasons, not someone elses. And move the hell out of the house as soon as you can, you you can be your own person and maintain friendships with positive people who will help you reach your goals. Negative people, especially family, can really hold you down if you ley them....it's part of their generational rationale.

Good Luck

and rememer, you're not fat...you're "Fluffy"

Answer 7

Nobody can tell you what YOUR future holds. Your weight doesnt mean near as much as your knowledge and your will to do what is necessary to succeed. Your family cannot decide when or how you need to lose weight. With them continuing to knock you down, you'll never be able to have the self-esteem you need to make that lifestyle change. More than you, they need to change. It is their responsibility to support you in all you do. You shouldnt feel bad about what they think about you. Youre beautiful. YOU ARE HOW YOU PERCIEVE YOURSELF, NOT WHAT YOUR FAMILY THINKS OF YOU.

Answer 8

Hello Sweety, I know this is difficult situation you are experiencing, and I believe you have the power to turn this around. Each of us on this earth are writing scripts for each other, but does not mean we can't write our own script. Your are allowing your family to write your script, Fat is their script for you. What is your script? How about your script being . I AM ADORABLE, I AM LOVEABLE, I AM WONDERFUL, I AM WORTHY, I AM BEAUTIFUL. Your Mother & Grandmother can't give you anything more than they think of themselves. What they say to you , has nothing to do with you , it has everthing to do with them. Sweety, don't forget to include yourself amoungst those you love. Write yourself a NEW SCRIPT.

Answer 9

Well its not healthy to be overweight but they should be more concerned about that more than the way in which society percieves you. They should accept you either way. They have alot to learn if they really talk to you like that. If I were you, I would lose weight just for myself. To be healthy mentally and physically. Ignore them.

Answer 10

you answered your own question. you have to change things for your health. so, take your families criticism and use it to motivate yourself. every time, they talk badly about you, just keep thinking to yourself, i'll show you people. use your anger to your advantage to prove them wrong. first, go to a doctor for a physical, then join a health/exercise club, go on a strict diet. like yourself, respect yourself and don't let people ever destroy what you know you can accomplish. we let people hurt us, but, truthfully, we are the only one that can hurt ourselves. remember words are only words and really can't hurt us, unless you let them. so, be your own biggest fan and do what's right for you. good luck.