My 6 year old is a smart, funny, happy girl. She is sweet and loves to play with other kids. However, every once in a while she goes into these fits where she will throw herself around or into me, she fights me, and she screams like I have never heard anybody scream. And it is over the smallest things - this morning it was because she had to change her shirt for school. I have taken her to counselors, and they all say that nothing is wrong with her. I don't know what to do. I try to hold her down when she is doing this because I don't want her to hurt herself or hurt me. I am pregnant, so I also don't want her to hurt the baby. I have tried everything from having her count to ten when I have her held down to punishing her by taking her toys away, but it never seems to go completely away. She doesn't do this all the time, or even often, but it's still enough to notice. Has anyone else dealt with this? If so, how did you handle it?
2007-04-17 03:47:14 · 9 answers · asked by Leah B 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Oh yeah, been through that one!! It was worse than the tantrums she had when she was two! Mine used to get so out of control she would make herself throw-up! I'll tell you what my Pediatrician told me...basically she is having a normal "temper tantrum" like a 2 yr old. Only now she's bigger and it is more intimidating. He told me to:
STAY CALM.
Buy a squirt bottle & fill it with cold water. When she goes out of control squirt her in the face with the cold water.
Don't try to restrain her. You could hurt her or yourself & baby very easily.
Talk to her about the problem LATER. You can't talk to a child that is "out of control"...they won't hear you or understand.
I know. It sounds awful....but it works. The shock of the cold water grabs her attention and stops the "fit" which is really out of control anger/frustration. A bit of water (really doesn't take much) won't hurt her or you. He told me that in the "old days" Mothers would "dash a glass of cold water" or a cold wet wash cloth on the face of a child out of control. When I talked to my parents & in-laws about it they agreed and all had at least one memory of having something similar happen to them at one point or another in their childhood.
So I tried it. And it really did work. After three "fits" all I had to do was walk toward the kitchen (I kept a small red spray bottle on the window cill) and she got it under control enough so that we could talk things out. To this day people don't belive that she used to do that, she is a straight A student that demands perfection from herself and is a wonderful girl. She is involved in everything from Orchestra, dance & scouting and her behavior is exceptional when she is out of the house. She is pretty (she doesn't believe it), has lots of friends & teachers love her. At home she lets it all go....and it is hard to deal with sometimes. But as she gets older I see the strong independant young lady I want her to become. There is hope, you will get through all this! FYI neither her older or younger sister did this! Stay strong & good luck.
2007-04-17 04:20:48 · answer #1 · answered by Barbiq 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When she throws the fits ignore her and don't pay attention, because she is seeking attention. And when she doesn't change her skirts for school tell her that people will make fun of her for wearing a dirty skirt or something like that. And for the fights, just make her sit in the middle of the floor with nothing and unless she is doing something that might hurt someone then leave her alone. If she gets back up, spank her and lock her in her room for a little while to calm down!
2007-04-17 12:03:04 · answer #2 · answered by keℓsey<3 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your calm, level-headed reaction to this will be best. First, it will not aggevate it. Second, it will not encourage it (giving attention or giving in during a tantrum will send the wrong message).
Our daughter has had unreasonable emotional outburst, but not the same as yours. My wife and I have read that often bright children have more emotional outbursts than other kids because they view the world differently than other kids but we treat them the same as other kids.
2007-04-17 10:58:04 · answer #3 · answered by Wolfithius 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
when she does thses things take away privileges ar toys for a certain period.sit her down before now bfore theres another and tell what the consequences will be . u may even let her help with punishments she thinks may help, but make sure you do what u say 100 percent of the time and dont let her out of it
2007-04-17 12:47:14 · answer #4 · answered by mcrossfield78 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My cousin went through the same thing at 12 years of age. It was just a phase, because she was having problems at school, and was bottling up her feelings, until she finally got someones attention and released them suddenly. Just be patient with her and calmly talk to her and ask her what is wrong. It will pass.
2007-04-17 11:05:28 · answer #5 · answered by Melanie 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have you ever tried to just ignore her when she starts to throw her tantrum? My daughter will try to pull the same thing on me, but the more I do NOT react, the less she does it. Good luck.
2007-04-17 19:03:53 · answer #6 · answered by gogirl 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
let her go in a room where she cant hurt herself and let her know untill she calms down she needs to stay there(easier said then done i know,)but it does work she is still at the age where she gets frustrated easiely and doesnt know any other way to express it..let her explore other option to express how she is feeling and and give her oppertunties to talk about how whe feels
2007-04-17 10:54:22 · answer #7 · answered by callie 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
she probally just wants attention since she doesn't do it all the time. so when she goes into a fit walk away and see what happens...
2007-04-17 11:13:22 · answer #8 · answered by christina c 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
i dont suppose there's anything wrong with your child except for the fact that i think she just has a better temper thats all.
2007-04-17 11:18:06 · answer #9 · answered by Erniebassey 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋