What would you say to girl, 141 IQ, that thought she knew everything?

Question

It's my daughter, doesn't believe us about needing to go to school. Doesn't believe she is a genius, but thinks she knows everything, literally. She transferred to internet H.S. to become a night owl schooler, but now, she is not even doing that. I keep telling her she will be up a creek. She thinks she could easily pass a GED but just found out she can't until 17. Then what? If she keeps going by continuing to fail. People/employers won't see how clever she is.Currently she is on the fast track to Juvi hall by police to go to school. She didn't even understand how the signals of a mailbox worked last year. My heart goes out to her, but if she thought about suicide before, she'll be wanting it later at this rate. What would you say to her? (Yes, hopefully she'll outgrow, but she will have lost too many opportunities that you and I take for granted, like schooling. She's been like this since 10 and been thru the system of child services, but still at home.)

I've tried to spank her and child services called MY to the carpet!
Every time I tried to be parent and set the rules, she'd flip the meaning. "No, I'll do my work if I get my door back."
She's seen psychiatrists, therapists, councelors. She's tried suicide 2x officially (stomach pumped once) to make her point. We have to lock up our keys, wallets, cell phones and other things of value. We take away her land line, she disconnects OUR phone. What we do to her, she does worse back to us. Currently we are at impass.
She's been to juvi for a few days when she ran away from PA to FL and we caught her.
Would you give up your child to get her to go to school? We've done everything we could think of and Proven it to everyone that's been involved.
It's not a matter of being her parent rather than her friend. Its her treating us like dirt and that anything we say or do is ignored. Saying spanking is easy, but trying to do it puts YOU in the hot seat. We've tried!
Military school is 36k.

We are broke. Not poor but no extra money to send her anywhere.
She refuses to do chores. So even $5 a week she doesn't want to earn.
When we tried to take things away from her, she became a minimalist and removed all her furniture from her room and sleeps on the floor in her room. She's not letting us get the upper hand about anything.
I've had her talk to the local judge who came to our house. she's been to juvi and she's been in lockdown after her attempt.. but she can 'hold her breathe' for all of it. just biding her time.
The judge has found against her so WE stop getting in trouble for her choices. She already owes US money for all the sitations she's created from the police (ie: egging a house)
Yes, truancy gets parents in trouble but that's taken care of back onto her head.
BTW, thanks all for your thoughts and comments.

No offense, but for the few people that are telling me to be a parent and MAKE her to anything... You've tried it yourself? tried to make a child do something, had them throw lip at you, you didn't KILL them and they still didn't do what you wanted... and you still succeeded? If so, THEN do tell me about it.

oops, didn't mention she just turned 16.

One last comment: she bruises easily (so do my husband and MIL), so I've been called on the carpet for what the gym teacher found AND I wasn't even hurting her, just planting her on the couch! Thanks all for you comments. Truly, now if I can just get her to read any of it. I've told her all of this myself, but I'm Mom. I can not comprehend where she thinks she'll be in the future. My other daughter says she expects to be married and pregnant and have her husband take care of her. We told her that to find a rich enough husband, you have to be in their circle... like college. Oh, well, I'm trying. Thanks again all.

Answer 1

IQ is a measurement of the ability to learn, not how much you have learned. Explain you can have a high IQ and still be quite ignorant.

Answer 2

What a shame. Why doesn't your daughter want to learn? It would seem that she has the capability to really shine. How do you transfer to internet HS? She either works or goes to school. Let her chose, let her buy her own food and charge her rent to live there. See how long her intelligence lasts. Have the police talk to her and put it on the line, school or juvie hall. Again, her choice.

How old is this genius? I believe in our state you have to go to school until you are 16, and if you don't and cut too many classes, it's the parents that have to serve the jail time. Haven't heard too much about that lately, don't know if they still do it, either that or the parents have made sure the truancy rate is below the level for them to do time.

I really feel for you. You hate to see her make those mistakes that can ruin her life. Good luck to you and your daughter.

Answer 3

Spank her little buttt. take her to Juve Hall for a little visit. Take her under a bridge to see the homeless, Then make(Underline Make) her work in a shelter for the homeless. Do not give her any outs and if she refuses then take something away that she loves. but do it quickley. Add a week if you get back talk. You are the parent take control. Show her how far a GED will get her. The difference between college and High school is about $30 an hour. Good luck.

Answer 4

BE THE PARENT. TAKE CONTROL AGAIN. As a parent, you can't just be letting her decide what does and when she does things. You aren't helping her prepare for the basic rules of society. If she knows so much, tell her to get a job and start paying you rent. You can always put that cash aside for her to go to university or something.... but make her start to toe the line. Now is not the time to just be her friend or pamper her, you still have work to do. Be her friend and equal later in life when she starts to take on the same responsibilities you do and has proven herself to be a productive member of society.

Answer 5

With this I.Q she sure is a smart child, but it does not mean she is a wise child. At her age she is not mature enough to make the right decisions, even if she thinks she is. As parents we need to guide our children in the right path, not saying that you are not doing so, and if they decide to go the other way, then they will have to live out the consequences. We just have to be sure in our hearts that have done our best. I have seen many "smart" kids make stupid decisions. At this point I would like to advise you that your daughter needs to see a professional counselor or even maybe a psychiatrist now. If she already thought of suicide something is definitely wrong and she needs help.
God Bless

Answer 6

Time for some tough love here. Set her butt down and tell her in no uncertain terms what she needs to know, back up your words with examples and proof, and don't let her get the upper hand in the debate. Stay in control and keep your status above her at all times.

Answer 7

Tell her the simple truth. No employer would take 'smart' over 'hard working', because people who rely on smart are usually a pain in the *** to work with, and lazy buggers to boot. Unless she digs in, she'll be stuck with nothing.

Answer 8

Either she gets back on line and does her lessons or she should return to regular school. You are the adult. Explain to her that intelligence and maturity are 2 different things. Give her 3 days to produce and to continue to produce her assignments, starting immediately, that she also shows to you, or you are hauling her *** back to regular school, no ifs ands or buts. Your daughter might be intelligent, but her actions are those of immaturity and you cannot allow her to continue to act irresponsibly. her whole future life is at stake.

Answer 9

i don't furnish an option to their origins of each little thing, I merely use my know-how to assert what they are announcing isn't actual. it extremely is extraordinarily unhappy that I, an Atheist, many times know greater concerning to the bible than Christians, because of the fact of 12 years of Catholic college and church( btw I actually have a a hundred actual now in faith :) ).

Answer 10

You are her mother.
If she lives under your roof, she needs to go by your rules.
Enroll her back into school. She needs to goto school, its the law. If she has the opportunity to get her diploma, she needs to. Employers/college look more favorably upon a high school diploma over a GED.
Show her tough love, its for her benefit.