the bride cashed the wedding gift check.. still no thank you.after 5 months. I still want to ask if she sent?

Answer 1

I agree almost 100% with Blunt. I don't know where people got the idea that it's acceptable to skip sending TY notes. I find it incredibly rude and a slap in the face to a gift giver that someone cannot take 5 minutes of their time and a few cents of their income to write a simple thank you note. Giving a gift is not "buying a thank you note". That's the most idiotic thing I've heard. It's called common courtesy. Write it down. And to the guy that doesn't read them, that's just as ignorant.

You know your gift was received because she cashed the check. What about the people who gave cash? Surely they're wondering if their gifts were received. In my opinion, this is a very poor way to treat your guests and you dismiss their generosity by not sending a timely thank you note. And I do mean sending a note. Emails, phone calls, and verbal thank yous at the wedding are not sufficient.

Next time you see her, I'd ask her if she needs you to write a new check in case she didn't get the one you gave her and see what she says. If she's going to be rude, she might as well face the music. "Hectic schedule" is no excuse. Everyone's busy, yet all these people make time to buy gifts and /or cards and attend events.

And yes, I would take that into consideration with any other gift giving occasion in the future. Surely there are better ways to spend your money than on people who can't muster up the slightest bit of appreciation.

Answer 2

I totally disagree with those who say thank you notes are just "not done anymore." The truth is, they are "not done" by ungrateful brides, but those who appreciate the gift and your presence will be sure to have them out in a timely manner. I am in the same boat as you. We went to a wedding last year for my fiance's boss. He gave an extremely generous gift and almost a year later...still no Thank you at all. Even a thank you in person would have sufficed. I know the parents and they have raised them both better than that, but I guess "today's bride" is just too busy to be bothered. My personal rule is, the check does not get cashed until the thank you note has been written.

Answer 3

Since it's bothering you, when you have an opportunity ask her what the money was spent on. I've received notes in the past simply saying thank you for the generous gift and others indicating what the money was put toward.
Hard to believe no thank you notes were sent out. Still, let's face, some people are simply not very gracious when it comes to that sort of thing. Or, we could give the benefit of the doubt and assume she's just been too busy or had some major upheaval in her life.

Answer 4

You don't say how long ago the wedding was suppose to take place. If it was just recent, then I would give it time. As for asking for it back, that's a tough one. I would hope they have the decency to send it back but I wouldn't count on it. Maybe if you see your cousin, you could in some way ask what they did with the wedding gifts. But if it were me, I would probably let it go, even as unfair as it sounds. Maybe they'll get back together and then you can send a card saying, "Hope you enjoyed my wedding gift"!

Answer 5

Something that I've noticed with this question and all the answers... why is it necessarily the Bride's fault that no thank-you has been received? Do you think she cashed the check and spent all the money on herself? What about the Groom? Aren't the gifts half his? When I got married I was responsible for thank-yous to guests on my half of the guest list, and my husband was responsible for his. I know for a fact that he didn't finish all of his, and it is slightly embarrassing and I hope his family doesn't think I'm rude because of it, but I was determined not to set the precedent of little wifey having to do everything that hubby doesn't want to do.

Anway, point is, be fair... this is the responsibility of both the bride AND groom.

Answer 6

I was married last month, and refused to cash any checks or cash, or even use any gifts we received, without first sending the thank you note. In fact, a week after the wedding we had people calling telling us to cash the checks, so I made it a point to get the thank you notes out ASAP. It's extremely poor manners not to send out thank you notes. You should absolutely be wondering about it.

Answer 7

Unfortunately, this generation wasn't instructed on the fine art of the Thank you card. To my chagrin, I am guilty of this. I was married two years ago and forgot to mail my thank you notes when I returned from my honeymoon (they were even filled out).

The next time you see the bride casually mention that you hadn't received a thank you card and was wondering if she had received your gift? That way the bride knows you were expecting a thank you (and can be appropriately regretful of her over sight) and you will feel better knowing you stated your feelings without being rude or hurtful.

Answer 8

I understand how you feel about this. It is very rude of the bride to not send you a thank you note, but it would be as equally rude to ask her about it. I do not think that many people know how offensive it can be when they do not send out thank you cards, or how it makes them look to the gifter. If she has not sent one yet, she probably never will and asking her would only cause tension.

Answer 9

I'm sorry about this.

Call me old school, but YES, you are RIGHT to be upset.

To everyone here, YES! Thank you cards are a MUST after receiving a gift for your wedding. This is not something that was done last century, good manners will NEVER go out of style and they are not replaced by emails or greetings at the door.

It's propper ettiquette to mail a handwritten thank you card to each and everyone of the guests that attended your wedding and name the gift given and ad a personal note.

If the couple don't do it, is just plain RUDE of their part, they just have no manners whatsoever.

As tempting as it may be, do not ask about it, simply take that into consideration when ask to go to their baby shower.

Good luck

Answer 10

Sadly, I've sent wedding gifts that were never acknowledged either. Don't ask about a thank you, just assume your gift was gratefully received.

Teach your children to send thank you notes though....it's something you have to teach. After their birthdays, I make my kids sit down and write out thank you notes to all their aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc., who gave them gifts. Hopefully it will sink in.....