2007-04-17 01:24:44 · 24 answers · asked by wv_gal 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
You don't. Asking why you haven't received a note is at least as impolite as not sending one.
2007-04-17 01:30:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
When I was married, I was so overwhelmed with the amount of gifts I received that regrettably I did not send a thank you card to everyone. It was very difficult finding addresses and I working 40 hrs+going to school. I know that isn't an excuse and I regret not thanking everyone, but when I give a gift I do not expect a thank you card. If you are giving gifts just to get a thank you then you are giving them for the wrong reasons. I'm sure she appreciated it and who knows she may have mailed the thank you note to the wrong address or something...things are hectic after a wedding. You did the right thing even if she didn't and you should not even think about the thank you card. Just be glad that you did something nice for someone else.
2007-04-17 01:36:31 · answer #2 · answered by Britknee 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I am sure it is probably because she is busy and time has just flown. I do it myself. I mean to write a note, do something in return, whatever and then life flys by and its months later and I am then too embarrassed that I have let the moment go. Do you know if she received the gift. I would phone and say you have been worrying that she did not receive it as you had not heard from her. She can then thank you in person. I am sure she is just busy being happily married.
2007-04-17 01:54:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let it go. Just rest assured that you have better manners and in reversed circumstances you would have behaved far better.
Hopefully your gift was given with love and without reciprocal obligation.
Also remember that anything could have happened to your note, so just try and find out (mother of the bride or mutual friend) if thank you notes were distributed before jumping to conclusions.
2007-04-17 02:44:38 · answer #4 · answered by Mandy L 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the check was cashed, you know she got it -- but if it was a cash gift you are perfectly in bounds to call and say, "by the way, I hadn't heard from you and I just wanted to make sure my gift reached you all right."
When I got married a gift check got buried under a pile of bills and paper and I didn't come across it until months later. Talk about embarrassed. Fortunately the giver accepted my apologies.
You can't politely say, "why didn't you send me a thank-you note?" But just check and see if she got it. If she never sends a note, forget it and you don't have to give her any more gifts. It's not worth nursing a grudge and keeping track of who owes you what -- let it go. :-)
2007-04-17 05:14:16 · answer #5 · answered by Parrot Eyes 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can certainly ask if she received the gift.
I disagree with some of the answers on here. If you were kind enough to give her a gift, she should be courteous enough to thank you. And if you don't get a thank you note, I wouldn't ever give her any more gifts. I don't reward bad behavior!
2007-04-17 22:10:28 · answer #6 · answered by Cat Lover 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having been recently married myself, I was very annoyed about the whole thank you card ceremony. My mother nagged me every time she saw me, even as early as the day after my wedding. I have heard it is common to not get thank you cards for up to a year after the wedding, but it is never to late to send thank you cards.
In the end I sent my thank you cards probably 6 months after my wedding and I only sent to the people that were family or friends from my side of the family. I informed my husband that he needed to thank his close friends since he was closer to them. I don't believe he ever did that, but I honestly doubt any of them ever noticed.
When I go to a wedding I personally give a gift without expecting a thank you. If you give a gift expecting a quick written thank you, then you need to lower your expectations in my book and be a little more patient. Like others have mentioned, if you are truly concerned as to if she even received the gift, then ask her if she received it. Other than that, be patient. It might not ever happen, but I am sure you don't want to alienate yourself from the friend by being overly blunt and asking "WHY HAVEN'T YOU THANKED ME?"
2007-04-17 03:13:29 · answer #7 · answered by QuietGirl 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You don't. It is OK though to ask if she received it, as in "I didn't hear from you that you recieved my gift. Did it get there OK?" Maybe it _was_ lost (unless you've got a canceled check). Or maybe she'll tell you she did send a note--it's possible the note got lost in the mail. Or maybe she just forgot. Or maybe she's just an ungrateful jerk.
If it's the latter, then it's up to you whether you want to send this person any more gifts in the future.
2007-04-17 01:38:55 · answer #8 · answered by Faeldaz M 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You don't ! That is even more rude than the fact that she didn't send one. She might not have sent any thank you notes. If she thanked you in person then just let that be your thank you from her. If you are that upset by it then don't give her and her husband gifts anymore, or at least not large ones.
2007-04-17 08:05:00 · answer #9 · answered by aly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm still waiting for a thank you note for a wedding gift I purchased in 1983.
Also, waiting for a thank you for a baby shower present. My mom, grandmother, sister and I traveled all day on a Saturday to reach my cousin's baby shower. None of us ever received thank yous.
2007-04-17 01:42:19 · answer #10 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Stop giving the questioner a hard time. Perhaps she just wants to be sure the bride received the money?
2007-04-17 02:32:04 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋