Is there hope for an HIV+ man to find a hetero mate?

Question

Hi so I've been wondering this for a while and since Yahoo! answers came out I thougt hey now I can ask so....

I'm 21 and I'm HIV+and have been for 3 years. Completely healthy and stable. I work full-time great guy blah blah blah so on and so forth. I've been with both men and women. But as I'm becoming a bit older I realize I only want to be with women and I want the whole picket fenc dog yard and all that fun stuff one day. I was wondering if I would ever find a woman who isn't halfway around the world who would accept my status. I know I'll probably get a lot of responses saying it's all about love but... My question is I guess this is for the ladies... If you went out on a date and found out the guy you were dating had HIV what would you do? How would you like to find out? Would you date a REALLY GOOD GUY that just happened to have HIV? Or am I totally screwed?

Answer 1

I think if you're in love it really doesn't matter what life has thrown at you. You'll find her one day. Obviously, there will be challenges but that's in every relationship. I have a friend that is HIV+ with two little girls and she still found somebody. Just be honest and upfront from the beginning and let the relationship develop from there.

Answer 2

I'm assuming you mean a female that is HIV negative, ummm it is possible that a woman out there would be brave enough to take the risk. I personally couldn't though but i would try to remain friends with him and support in that way. Just because he has HIV doesn't mean he is not human.


You have to bear in mind that whoever you are with will endure a lot of pain watching you get sick and stuff even though you are healthy now. You have to be a really strong and patient person to willingly put yourself in the situation where you know theres a good chance you will outlive your partner. There are women who don't want kids so that is less of an issue.



I don't think you are totally screwed, but you may be close. If you are unable to find love and an acceptance of your illness, look for other things you would like to fulfil in life and pursue that for instance travelling, explore art, become the poet you never knew you were appreciate the life you still have and know that there are people who wish for your happiness, especially if you are a good person inside. I'm one of them, i wish you happiness- try and enjoy life- safely too.

Answer 3

You need to read a book called - April Fools Day - Its by Bryce Courtenay.

Its a true story about his son who gets HIV through a blood transfusion when he was a child. He grows up has a girlfriend lives a normal life. He unfortunatly dies on April Fools day when he is about 27. But it tells the story of how someone with HIV can have a perfectly normal life. And his girlfriend cared for him the whole way through until the end. So there must be women out there that can cope with it.

I really hope it works out for you - Trust me read the book.

Answer 4

Well i would definitely hope so however, because of the stigma attached to the disease unless some one is well read about the disease probably not. Me personally I don't think I would date some one that I knew was HIV positive. Not because of anything other than dealing with the stresses of knowing that my mate will one day get sick and die...I know that every day isn't promised and that we all face death...I just don't think I could handle that emotionally. Now if I was already with the person and they found out... my views may be different.

Answer 5

Sweetie,i believe that if i found out,i would definately get myself tested first and for most.I would rather find out,from him telling me rather than finding out once i contracted it myself.More than likely,i would date someone i havent been put in that situation personally so i cant really say as i havent been there,and no you arent totally screwed.When someone mentions HIV it is often something that scares other to no end.This is something that is a very serious issue,and it would take a strong female to look beyond the disease itself,honestly.Sure its going to be hard because when a female knows this,it is going to be hard for her to really see you as opposed to the HIV virus within itself.Of course,it isnt impossible and somewhere out there that female is waiting.Dont give up hope,because one day when you least expect it she will come into your life and change you forever!Remember to protect yourself as well as her.Good luck hun,and have a good day!!

Answer 6

I appologize for your situation but being honest...I would never date someone who is HIV+. Companionship is one thing, dating is another. I have had 2 friends, both male in the past who are HIV+ and have not had a problem with it. Dating is a whole other kettle of fish! Please, if you decide to start dating again, before any intamacy takes place, even if its kissing, be honest with her and let her make the decision.

Answer 7

There are social, and therapy groups for people that have HIV. Try getting involved in one for heterosexual people. You would probably be surprised how many women have been infected by their ex husbands, and ex boyfriends.You are definitely not alone. Everyone needs someone to love. Just always be honest about your situation.

Answer 8

i'm assuming you mean a female it is HIV unfavorable, ummm it relatively is obtainable that a female available may be brave adequate to take the possibility. i individually could no longer although yet i might attempt to stay friends with him and help in that way. in basic terms through fact he has HIV does no longer mean he isn't human. you may desire to keep in mind that whoever you're with will bear a brilliant form of discomfort staring at you get unwell and stuff even although you're healthful now. you need to be an quite good and affected person guy or woman to willingly placed your self contained in the area the place you comprehend theres a sturdy risk you will outlive your companion. There are women people who do no longer choose for babies so because it is way less of an argument. i do no longer think of you're completely screwed, yet you'll be close. in case you're no longer able to discover love and an popularity of your ailment, seem for different issues you may choose for to fulfil in life and pursue that working example traveling, detect artwork, grow to be the poet you on no account knew you have been savour the life you nonetheless have and comprehend that there are people who desire to your happiness, fairly in case you're a sturdy guy or woman interior. i'm certainly one of them, i desire you happiness- attempt to luxuriate in life- competently too.

Answer 9

The best thing to do would to be find a girl HIV+ that way theres no risk of tranmitting anything.

Answer 10

I will never date anyone who is HIV,to be ohnest with you i am even scared to date any guy because you never now weather he is hiv or not.

What are usually do when i meet a guy, if they want to be in a relationship with me 1st lets go for HIV test and then they run away.

I know what Hiv/Aids can do to people.so i don't want to be one of them.