why did Best friend did not invite me to a big party?

Question

my best friend and I have managed to maintain our relationship with full love and trust for 4 years now. In the beginning of our friendship, she has openly expressed her jealousy towards me. Which was great because she was being honest, but at the same time it made me really uncomfortable. The fact that she told me "I'm not as artistic as you, Acing my English classes, and attractive gets me angry. You know I sometimes hate you." (I always seem to remember the shity times with precision). I couldn't handle the bare truth so I distanced myself from her, a few days. Trying to mend things, I approached her to tell her that the reason why I didn't ignore her when we first met (although I'm quiet, I do talk...just not to anyone..), meant that I saw something valuable in her. I saw past her physical imperfections that hurted her. She's real cool, an instinct told me. I needed her to value herself. So, I tried helping her out. Things went well, despite other spats. This girl is one of the greatest things that has ever happened to me. I've enjoyed teaching her about the other side of life besides calculus or science. Lately, we haven't been so close. First of all, there is distance. second, we are going to different colleges. and third, we've lost touch with being "open" friends. Were kinda keeping to ourselves, a bit. I still feel this tension of competition among us. Whenever I bring up a subject she doesn't know, she gets defensive (she is very smart, but can be a nasty smartass, so that offends me, then I start acting like a smartass). It becomes tiring. Since I'm temperamental, I boldly tell her "**** off."
The problem starts here. Today, she has gone to a party without me, which is weird because she always asks me to come along to events. This event was different. People from our old high school, were reuniting for another friends birthday. I don't like showing up without being invited first. I'm old fashioned. But this friend Eddy, is the type of person who loves everyone and wouldn't give a damn if a complete stranger came. Eddy does know me a bit. He's what you'll call an acquaintance. My best friend called me on her cell phone from the party. "everyone from school is here, I'm laughing so much"
Hearing that on a lonely Saturday was....damaging. Then the ***** puts Yessinia on the damn phone, the girl who took away a very potential boyfriend in high school. I got sort of choked up (hate showing emotions) when Yessina said hello. Not because of her. She brought memories of Ronald. The guy I was head over heels for. When she put my best friend back on the phone, I wanted to cuss badly at her for doing that. She knows it depressed me, when Ronald told me he wanted to hang out with Yessinia. It depressed me even more seeing them kiss all the time. They are both still together. Oh god, this is really sad.
Please leave me your comments and opinions.
Thanks much.

Answer 1

I would like to first say that I am really sorry for the pain you are going through. I know this is very hard for you. Now, what I think based on the information that I understood, is that you might be focusing way too much on this "best friend" of yours. I think it might be in your best interest to start learning to focus on YOU and what YOU want. Find other friends and broaden your horizons. It also may be that you both are just growing apart which is common with people who are best friends from high school. Maybe you both are feeling the effects of "growing apart", but are not aware that this is why you are both feeling this "separation" feeling. So, since you may not understand it, you may tend to take it out on each other believing that each other is to blame for causing it, when in fact it may just be because you both are growing interests in different directions. And thats nobodies fault. If this is the case, and you can understand that, you may be able to come to terms with this situation much better and maybe a lot of the pain will subside.

Well, I hope this helps. Again, I am sorry to know you are in such pain. I hope things get better for you and have a positive outcome. Good luck....

Answer 2

Sounds like you need someone better than a fair-weather friend. Get over it, and go find people who will like you in your new college. Sometimes friends come and go, it happens. You gotta wade through crap to find the good stuff.

Answer 3

Bore bore bore....couldn't get through the question...sorry.