my ex bf and i broke up a month ago. i tried to patch things up but he ignored all my attempts. so i stopped all contact with him.
lately he's been posting depressing messages online like he's emotionless, barely surviving stuff like that. whenever he posts something like that, i always post an encouraging song or some encouraging words. it's not addressed to him but it's pretty obvious it's for him.
today i posted i'm swamped with everything, work, state tax, etc. he posted back"i'm not here. deal with it." so i signed off. just now i found he updated his facebook, put his favorite quote as "It is better to love and lost than to never have loved at all. Yeah, right."
what does he mean?i'm pretty sure he doesnt care about me at all since he's so insensitive to my feelings and ignored all my attepts to patch up. is he hurting? then why didnt he try to patch things up with me?
2007-04-16 18:17:33 · 6 answers · asked by little asian gal in cresent city 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sounds like he is either playing your or he is posting all of the whiny, depressive messages for some other girl he has on the line so she will feel sorry for him and hook up with him.
2007-04-16 18:27:33 · answer #1 · answered by bottleblondemama 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. He is exhibiting all the signs of depression.
For one thing, he made it clear that he is sad about the break up. He said,"It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. YEAH, RIGHT."
That means he wishes he had not lost you but he feels so depressed, he is hating himself. He doesn't really want you to know how pathetic he thinks he is. He has isolated himself. It's a common thing that depressed people do. They withdraw from society.
He is hurting from the break up but he can't bring himself to patch things up because emotionally, he can't. He was depressed to begin with. That's why he withdrew from you.
He should probably see a doctor about his depression before it gets worse. The doctor could give him the name of a good psychologist or psychiatrist.
His remark that he made..."I'm not here. Deal with it." Is another classic saying. Very often depressed people refer to themselves as "not being here". It's a common saying they frequently use. They feel detached from the world.
I'm sorry to hear this but it really does sound like he needs some help to cope with his depression.
Don't worry. You in no way caused this. It is usually caused by a chemical embalance in the brain.
Would it be possible for you to voice your concerns about him to his parents? If you can, it would probably be a good idea.
2007-04-16 18:35:58 · answer #2 · answered by Molly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys are simply wired differently than we are. Your ex is obviously hurting, and so are you, but he's passively attempting to stay in touch with you by posting depressing statuses on his messenger. Guys usually react with anger over a breakup, because they don't like going around admitting to their friends and family that they've been deeply hurt.
If I were you, I would send him an email once ONLY. Apologize again for whatever it was that caused the breakup, and for hurting him so deeply.
Explain that you understand if he doesn't want contact with you right now, but that the door is open if he wants to try to work things out sometime in the (hopefully near) future.
After that, if you don't hear from him..move on, no matter how painful that will be for you. Don't spend alot of time brooding over what went wrong, or what could have been done differently, or whether he still loves you.
You leave an opening for him to walk back into your life by emailing him, but if he doesn't respond, that lets you know that it's time to let him go.
Don't beat yourself up over it either...that accomplishes nothing but self-defeat. Try to learn from the relationship, because, after all..it IS better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Loving someone means that you're living your life..and that's what it's about, girl!
Good luck and take care!
:o)
2007-04-16 18:31:21 · answer #3 · answered by toomanyxxxs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From my experience, he's hurting a lot right now. I have no clue why, it could be you, it could be something else. Since you stopped all contact with him, he's confused. It looks like both of you are miserable right now. You need to somehow get an honest conversation going about feelings between both of you.
The timing of the conversation really depends on how you broke up. It seems as if it was a bad breakup. You might need to give him a little time to vent on his own before you talk to him again. It looks as if you broke up with him and he's probably very confused right now. Eventually, you'll need to talk. The best thing you can do is leave him be until he's not so angry at you.
2007-04-16 18:25:36 · answer #4 · answered by love 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
allow urself to let go. Accept that he is this cruel person. Do not feel anything for him. Do not question if he is okay or not okay. U need to focus on urself. Ur heart needs healing so stop looking at his stuff or anything related to him. If u look, u are only allowing urself to be hurt by him if not directly...it'll be indirectly. Block him from ur emails, IMs, facebook... it's time to walk separate ways. It is obvious that he's connection of any kind is hurting u emotionally. If someone don't give effort towards u...they are the ones losing out. There are plenty of other ppl who are ur friends or want to be ur friend and maybe wish for something more... so let go...heal urself...when u change urself...u can change ur surroundings.
2007-04-16 18:29:19 · answer #5 · answered by R C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he basically needed to be nearer to ya. ...in ordinary terms different reason became into that he had a secret to tell ya that he did no longer want anybody else to hearken to.... If he did no longer tell ya a secret, then i might anticipate he likes ya. perhaps ask him why and notice what his answer is.
2016-10-22 09:36:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋