What do I do?

Question

Alright, my whole life, I wanted to save my virginity for someone special. I met this guy at his apartment with my sister's boyfriend. We spent 5 days together off and on...drinking. I then lost my virginity to him on our 5 day of spending time together (whilst being drunk off Rum and Coke). He told me he was the one and I believed him...because I reallyyy liked him. This was 2 weeks before my 18th birthday. I'm now 22. Anyway, I haven't had sex with anyone but that guy and now I have met a guy I like...that I am dating. But on every date he tries to get sexual with me. He respects me wanting to wait until later on...but on our first date, he told me he didn't want anything serious. But we talk almost every day over the phone or Myspace. I don't know if he's starting to fall for me or what. But it seems like he wants some form of sex on every date. I am not ready. I want my first REAL time to be special and romantic with someone I am in a relationship with (TBC)

How do I keep this guy interested without giving in? What would you do in my situation...

Answer 1

Dear Cosmic Star,

Men want whatever you want, as long as, eventually ,that is the same thing as what they want.

This new guy seems like he's a real tiger...you must be pretty hot to make him horny all the time...but It may be the fact that he is a guy in his( i presume) 20's. When I was in my 20's I was a walkin hard on! I wanted every girl that wanted me! But It got old as I got older.

Now that I am a mature man, I want more than just the naked chick on my bed. I want to stimulate her in her mind too...which , when youre a young guy , you dont think of...you just think.."she must be drunk enough by now, lets see if I can get her bra off."

Here's some free advice for you..from an older man to a younger woman...get ready..here it comes...

Men will say ANYTHING to get your pants off.

Here are the 3 main lies men will tell you
1. "Your the only girl for me, baby."
2. " I wont come in your mouth."
3. " The check is in the mail."

If you seriously take heed to my words you will be all the wiser.

He says he respects you. Maybe he does...I mean, he hasnt raped you has he?

Does he ask you to go down on him as an alternative to intercourse? Cuz heres the gut wrenching truth.....he just wants to get off . He doesnt really want to pressure you into anything but he is really wanting to blow his load.
I know that sounds icky to someone who is inexperienced such as you are but that is the honest truth.

If you are going to want to be with some guy who will not be sexually wanting you then you wont be too happy with that either. You have to stick to your guns and if he doesnt stick by you ..then...NEXT!

You have the power to still be who you want to be...you havent gone down the slutty ho road. You made good choices, (heck who else lost their virginity in their teens....um...me!) dont beat yourself up about your first time...my was horrible and if i could turn back time , I would. The Truth is, cosmic, the important thing to remember is that its all about what YOU want. If you dont make your voice heard , you will be one of those billions of 'misunderstood' women.

Open communication is going to be your strongest ally in all of your present and future relationships...use it..and be wise. All that glitters is not gold....and gullible 'Is' in the dictionary!

Good Luck !

Answer 2

You shouldn't have sex with him if you don't want too.

That being said, you can't keep him interested for much longer without putting out. Sorry but a 20 something guy shouldn't and won't wait for you. You are fine, but too much effort. There are plenty of girls just as good as you that will give him what he wants.

Keep in mind there is nothing wrong with him wanting sex from you. He has the right to want that, just as you have the right to not. Works both ways. Those posters that write "if he doesn't respect than he isn't worth you" BS is just that, meaningless BS. He can easily be worth it and still not want to wait. That is the risk you will take either way you choose.

Answer 3

If all he wants is sex, then there isn't a way to keep him interested other than sex. But even then you'll just be another conquest to him and he'll move on after he gets what he wants. Forget this guy, he doesn't respect the goals you have for yourself and he does not have your best interests at heart. It's hard to leave someone you are enamored by, but you gotta guard your heart. Take care of yourself.

Answer 4

If this guy is not willing to respect you for not wanting to have sex, then he is not worth it. And saying he respects your decision and showing it are two different things. Just because you slipped up once does not mean that you need to slip up again. You can still wait until your wedding night to have sex. That is still worth a lot. Never let a guy stand in the way of the values you have set for yourself. If he is not totally willing to stand with you in your values, then wait for someone who will.

Answer 5

This is almost damn near impossible for the guy you're dating. I suggest that you make it clear to him how you feel about sex. If he doesn't catch the hint then I suggest you try and find someone else who shares your view point. Either way, despite both of you liking and dating each other. You're both torturing one another with your different morals.

Answer 6

If the only way to keep him interested is to give him sex, then he's not worth it. Just be yourself and do what you do.

Answer 7

there are alot of other things you can do in a relationship to keep it interesting besides sex."oral sex is good and your not going all the way with that person.

Answer 8

He just wants sex.I should know i`m a real man and know.Trust me,you need to wait and be patient,the one your looking for will want to marry you and plan your future.

Answer 9

if he really likes you he will respect your decision to wait and if he cant respect that then i would say he isnt worth it