I keep finding myself chasing a guy and then once he likes me I no longer like him. And then once he thinks that I'm not interested anymore and he gets a girlfriend I want him again. And begin the chase once again. And then once he likes me yet again, I no longer want him. And theres only so many times that can happen, then guys just...label you as a tease. I really want to stop this. I've tried just stopping...and forcing myself to stay interested. But I can't. And when I think about it I want to scream. Because even just the thought of being in a relationship where a guy actually likes me....freaks me out for some reason. I've read that it has to do with fathers that haven't exactly been fathers. My dad abandoned me when I was 11. Does that have anything to do with it?? Has this happened to any of you guys?? Thanks in advance
2007-04-16 16:08:28 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
That's never happened to me, but maybe it' a defense mechanism with you that you use to avoid being hurt. You need to do some serious soul searching to define this characteristic in you so that you can work on it.
2007-04-16 16:12:36 · answer #1 · answered by sustasue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys aren't the only ones who love the chase. Girls do too. My friend has the exact same problem, and she just loves the chase. (She has since decided to just admire from a far until she finds somone she is in LOVE with.) The chase is exciting and makes you feel like you are making an effort to be in love etc...and then once you succeed it's not fun anymore. It could be father issues, but it could also be because you are comitment phobic.
2007-04-16 16:14:26 · answer #2 · answered by livelymorphine 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you just like the thrill of the chase. and once there is no longer a need to chase or be chased, you are bored. I dont think it has anything to do with " a father figure".
You also like the guy when he is with someone else because you think she has something you could have had and maybe want, but you dont want it unless someone else has it.
seek counseling.
2007-04-16 16:16:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-03 02:39:10 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know i think most girls are affraid of what their fathers are going to do when he finds out they are seeing a guy, in your case i think maybe you might be scared of being hurt or being left again so sense your father abandoned you i think you are scared to let someone else come in your life becuase your affraid to loose them also, you should try to over come your bad and negative thoughts and try something different such as maybe putting into consideration that you should give this guy a chance and if it doesnt work out, hey it happends to all of us......so be spontanious and try something different...
2007-04-16 16:18:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are an adult now, you must put away those things that are stifling you (doesn't matter if it is because of a difficult childhood or not) I'm very sorry; you have to either make up your mind that you can stop this behavior or get some help so you can ha ve a life you enjoy...
2007-04-16 16:13:59 · answer #6 · answered by Pooks 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, i am in the exact situation... but i just came to the conclusion, that if i see him with another girl, and it DOES TRULY bother me, then i must really have feelings for him, even if they arent THAT strong... its apart of the chase that excites me...and probably you too...we all want what we cant have...
i dont believe it really has ANYTHING to do with fathers not being fathers... we live in America, and everyrhitng "has to have a reason" blah blah blah..... psychology bullsihit.
2007-04-16 16:13:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Harville Hendrix, KEEPING THE LOVE YOU FIND.
No, you're not crazy, but you have a common pattern going. Learn about it and maybe you can break it. It's in the book. It's a painful pattern, by the way, but I finally broke it. :-)
2007-04-16 16:12:24 · answer #8 · answered by Singinganddancing 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the dad issue probably has something to do with it, but, you should realize soon that there are more important things for you to focus on right now, like getting excellent grades in school. forget boys.
2007-04-16 16:12:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just like the chase.
2007-04-16 16:11:45 · answer #10 · answered by clbinmo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋