if you had a parent that had a drinking problem, would you help him/her?

Question

for instance, this guy (a father and his son a police officer) he refuses to have anything to do with his father because he has a drinking problem. he tries to call up his son to talk about a hockey game and he just totally shuts him out.
what gives? isn't family suppose to be there for you no matter what? i think he is uncaring and should be more understanding..

Answer 1

family is supposed to be supportive, but we can't really "help" an alcoholic... we can suggest they get help, offer to take them to rehab, or AA meetings....we can't force them to stop. it's a personal choice.

alcoholism is a disease. it destroys lives and families. people who live with alcoholics are profoundly and negatively affected by the alcoholic. it's not fun living with them....

the guy doesn't want to enable his father anymore, and is sick of his drinking habit. we don't have to "put up with" drunks if they sicken us. i am sure this father who drinks knows how his son (and everyone else he's affected) feels.

it's not unusual.

you can do a search for alcoholism on line, to learn more.

it's not fun....

take care.

Answer 2

The son may have been dealing w/ this problem for a while and may have become uncaring. Drinking can cause a lot of problems over the years. Perhaps his dad missed important events in his son's life or not treated his mother well because of his addiction. If this officer is young, he might still be thinking of himself and not see the problems and issues his father faced that caused him to resort to alcohol. Foremost, his father needs help. He needs to get into a program, get help and reconnect w/ his family, because family IS everything .... There are sites on line (www. aabeginnersclub@ yahoogroups.com.) It's hard to quit, but if his father has enough reason, he will. Wishing him luck and his son understanding and support.

Answer 3

You'd think differently if you saw everything going on. Part of it is disgust, and part is pain - and he probably just can't stand to see his father like this. Yeah, family is supposed to be there no matter what, but what if it's intolerable? What if your father kept burning your house down because he was a pyro - would you tolerate THAT?

The father has to hit bottom, only then will he be ready to change.

I got a good friend who's a borderline alcoholic. He doesn't drink every day, but he can't stop. He's a different person when he's drunk. Once he was starting fights with every person he met on his way to my car after a party. So, I shoved him. I put my hands in my pockets so I wouldn't hit him back, and wanted to show him the black eye the next morning so he'd stop. But alas, he saw my confidence and did not strike.

Try not to judge, it's not always so simple. Everyone has a breaking point. Remember, even Hitler had a mother.

Answer 4

I am so sorry for the people in this scene, it's all too familiar to me. My dad died at age 60 of alcoholism, my sister nearly died at age 47. It's so hard to deal with, hard to know what is the right thing to do. Some family members shut out the alcoholic, some enable him/her to continue to drink without knowing they are doing that. And then the drinker either alienates the family or blames them or feels guilty about them. AA, Al-Anon, AlaTeen--all are fabulous programs that really work. Tell this father/son to look in the phone book, they can find one nearby. Give it a try, try it for more than one day or night. They need the support of people just like them, who have been there and can offer advice or help or just a listening ear. Good luck to everyone involved.

Answer 5

If Dad is an alcoholic, the son has probably has his share of bad times with Dad. The son can go to an Al-Anon meeting and the his father should seek AA and forgiveness from his son for past wrongs. It's a tough road when there is an addiction in the family.

Answer 6

I had a drinking problem-- I called people at all hours. I disrupted their lives. I didn't remember the conversations even. Good for the son!! He will at least have self respect!! No one can change someone who drinks-family is suppose to be there but if a persons mind is not there to whom one is commuicating with --there is a a void--Everything becomes like a big black hole-- alot goes into it but NOTHING is resolved because nothing is remembered.He is NOT uncaring Maybe he is trying to make his own life a sane one.

Answer 7

My father is a recovering alcoholic. It was really hard when I was younger. He was arrested, in accidents and doctors told him to stop drinking. Nothing worked. What finally worked was when I moved out at 18 and told him I wouldn't speak to him until he quit drinking. That happened when I was 21. Nothing else worked. I had no control over his drinking. He had to do it. You don't know what the child of an alcoholic goes through so try not to judge.

God Bless.

Answer 8

If the son didn't love his father, he wouldn't care at all. Shutting his father out shows he does care. If the father is not going to stop emotionally hurting the son, than the son should wait until the father is willing to stop, in my opinion.

Answer 9

It is easy to be judgmental when you do not have both sides of the story. The son may not be ready to reconcile with his father. I do not think he can help the father, as he will have to do that himself. The son may be waiting for the father to do something about his drinking problem.

Answer 10

If I had a parent with a drinking problem, I would so help them. They need help, and this police officer guy is being a total idiot for shutting his father out.