Is this any of my business?

Question

Alright in one of my previous questions its been established that my very best friend needs counseling. So i refered her to the couples therapist my fiance and I have begun seeing in preparation for marriage, she also does individual therapy. My friend has confessed to me that she abuses medications, she takes excessive doses of her prescribed and over the counter meds. She cant even go to sleep without taking these drugs now she says. Now, can I privately tell the therapist I am worried for her and what shes doing? Will that be overstepping my boundaries? Is that her choice to tell? I dont want anything to happen to her but I dont want to divulge info if its supposed to be confidential...I really am not sure of what to do. Can you help please thank you.

I have already told her that she cant do this to herself it is not good. She needs to find other ways to cope etc...I dont want to lose her to addiction and maybe finally an overdose. She cried said she will try not to but I know she still does.

Answer 1

Yes, it is your business, you are right.
Suggestions:

Option One: It is not confidential for you to tell the therapist so don't worry, but...I would suggest telling your friend: Be sure and tell the therapist your problem with prescription drugs...I love/Like you, and if you don't tell her yourself "I will".... I do not want you to lose your life, and I think you would do the same for me....wouldn't you?
This turns it around so she is in your shoe's and should understand.... Make her give you her word she will, and then re ask....did you?

Option two: You can opt to send a head's up to the pharmacist anonymously, who will in turn contact the doctor that prescribed.
Addiction to prescription drugs is an overwhelming problem here in the states... Anna Nicole's fate should serve as a reminder in this scenario..

kudos to you for going as far as you have to help your friend.

Answer 2

Because of confidentiality the therapist is not supposed to talk to you about your friends case without a release of information from your friend. your friend will have to open up at her own pace. You could try to intervene more but this also puts the therapist in a bad situation with a conflict of interest as she is seeing you and your friend and she would need to keep the boundary to let your friend know she is not talking about her in your sessions. You have done a good thing by referring your friend but now it is up to her. It can be hard because you care for her but you have to step back and let her go through this. You can still be a supportive friend but I would not advise you get involved with her therapy or therapist regarding her.
It is hard when trying to deal with someone who may be abusing substances. Even when you can see the danger in the situation the person still needs to decide they have a problem themselves or nothing you do will make a difference. This is the hardest thing for people dealing with a person who is addicted to understand.
Good luck

Answer 3

Can you tell her mother, or someone else, to not say anything directly to your friend about it, because it won't help, but to tell the therapist what your friend has been doing? Then you can look your friend in the eye and honestly say: "I swear on my word of honour that I didn't tell her anything at all about this!" Her mother would have to promise (under threat of never being told anything ever again) to tell her daughter that she found out by other means, such as the number of empty packets in the garbage, or she was told by someone at the pharmacy, who saw her buying an unusually large amount of OTC products, and that person told her, and then she went and told your girlfriend's therapist herself. THEN, her mother, or that person, should say to your friend, as soon as she returns from the next session with the therapist, what she (or that person) has done, and how the information was supposedly acquired. Whatever, it is more important that she be helped, but the above way offers a good chance of not losing the friendship. Only you and her mother (or other person), should ever know about it. Sometimes little white lies are necessary in relationships, and deceits or misdirections regrettable, but necessary, and therefore acceptable in the circumstances, as long as it is all done with the benefit of someone else in mind.

Answer 4

The therapist will keep things confidential, if they dont then you might lose a friend but in the process you could help her greatly....its all a moral choice....if i were you i would tell the therapist but now fully all the details just the outline so that they get an idea but that way your not telling them her whole life story....good luck with that and i hope your friend gets the help she needs

Answer 5

You aren't a professional so you are not bound by professional confidentiality. Of course, friends do not want to break moral confidentiality but in the case where your friend is in danger and may not even be well enough to see she's harming herself, I think it is okay to tell the therapist.

Also keep in mind if the therapist finds she's abusing medications, and you recommended the patient, it might look unfavorably on you if she's caught.

One more thing. The therapist cannot say one word to you about your friend. The therapist cannot even acknowledge your friend is her patient... but you can tell the therapist anything you wish about anyone you wish. The therapist just wont be able to comment on what you've said.

Answer 6

Well it might be a great idea if you have'nt fully or already !?! To have a long Heart`2`Heart talk with your friend about her feelings & or what if any problems your friend may be having or going through& then let the friend know of your concern !& more info might be given you as to why it's taking place!?! if you as a friend feels the reason is crazy!?! Then sure show your whole~hearted concern & let the correct person or people know of your worries !! You may save a life in doing so !! & possibly not ruin a good friendship !?! ~!![4/16/07] "R"r`r,r'r.r`r,'->

Answer 7

You need to confront her, not tell her therapist. She probably wants to involve you in her therapy; beware 'games addicts play'. Tell her exactly how you feel about her doing what she's not supposed to be doing and not even telling her therapist. The therapist will know what to work on her, to get the pain out, if your friend does confess to her.

Don't ever feel pity for her, if this is what she knows you will give her. Just tell it to her firmly, how you love her, despite etc.. but tell her she has to stop doing it and speak genuinely with her therapist about what she's done.

You are merely keeping boundaries in your firmness, not being uncaring. In time she'll know.

Answer 8

MY OPINION!!!!! Tell the therapist. You would NOT be any kind of friend if you didn't. Apparently, there is more going on with your friend than you realize. She needs help. The Dr. will have to wean her off and maybe try other therapies. Good Luck! And, Never give up on a FRIEND!

Answer 9

If you know that your friend is hurting herself with destructive behavior and substance abuse, it is your duty to let the therapist know. After that, you have fulfilled your duties as a friend, and the rest is up to her. No one wants to let her harm herself, and you can not allow her self-destructive behavior disrupt your life, especially when you'll be married soon. It's win win if you say something to get the therapist to help her, it's lose lose if you don't. Good luck to you all.

Answer 10

You are not doing anything wrong to share your concerns with the therapist.
Let's hope that Jacqui never has a family member or friend with an addiction problem since she feels the way she does. Would you say to move on if her friend had cancer or high blood pressure, I hope not. Then again if I have to explain it I doubt that you are going to understand.