I have been a relationship for about 3 years now, and have been on the verge of ending it several times over the course of it. She is a great person and I enjoy her company a lot. I guess you could say I care about her a great deal, but I don't know that I can honestly say I am "in love" with her. She is very in love with me though and it makes me feel like a snake to not feel the same for her. Every time I have tried to break it off in the past she has completely fallen apart and begged me to give it more time. She says she is willing to wait for me to start loving her the way she loves me if it takes forever. I felt like that could happen at first, but am now having serious doubts. How can I break it off with her without appearing to be a monster. I've tried to do it in person, but that just leads to her falling apart and me feeling sorry for her and giving in. I have tried it over the phone but she shows up minutes later at my house. This sux ! HELP !
2007-04-16 14:36:52 · 5 answers · asked by confused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
1.She currently has a terminally ill loved one - says she needs me more than ever
2.I have confronted her about our differing feelings for each other - she says for me to let her worry about her
3.We are both over 30
2007-04-16 14:58:32 · update #1
You've got to bite the bullet and do it. Unless you want to marry her and spend the rest of your life with someone that you don't love... now is better than later. Can you talk to one of her good female friends or family members and get them to help you out? Explain to them that you care about her and you are breaking up with her BECAUSE you care about her and you have decided that she is not the right one for you. Get her girlfriend to look after her and help her out. Make some hard and fast decisions and lay it out when you break up with her. Tell her, OK, I'm going to give you a day to think things over. I'll call you tomorrow at 7 o'clock and we can talk about this a bit more. So, then you call her and she's all hysterical, right and you repeat what you said before very firmly. She is a wonderful person and you care about her but you are not in love with her. Nothing she can say or do or any amount of time will change that. You want her to move on and find someone that DOES love her. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Then, after a few repetitions, so she know there is NO doubt in your mind, you will need to cut off contact for a while. This is to allow the break to happen. And that's where the friend comes in. Let the friend take care of her. No contact then for a long, long, long time. If she comes over to your house, you don't answer the door. If she sits on the doorstep and cries her eyes out, call the girlfriend to come and get her.
2007-04-16 15:05:06 · answer #1 · answered by L T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wonder how old you are? 19? 32?
It Will make a difference. If you are a teen and so is she, then the 'falling apart' is typical teen histrionics (look up that word if you do not know it).
If you are both 20 something, then I suggest you make a move SOON to end this less than romantic relationship. It will only be worse and worse. It is not fair to the lady to continue giving her hope when you have decided that there is no nope of you ever falling in love and marrying her. And you have to take responsibility for feeling sorry and giving in. That you must stop!
Take a third person along and have an adult personal confrontation, and end the relationship. Maybe go to Alaska for a holiday right afterwards. Give her three weeks. Tell her NO CONTACT, at all.
You'll be glad you did in three weeks too. Sad, but glad too.
2007-04-16 14:50:03 · answer #2 · answered by thisbrit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to break up with someone especially when you care about them. You have to think what is best for you and her. You will be in this situation forever if you keep this up. If you really want out of this relationship then you have got to stick to your guns. She know how to get to you and now this has become a routine for you and her. Of course she don't want to let you go but she would be more hurt if you start seeing someone behind her back. You have to ask yourself this am I sticking with her because I love her or because she puts on the drama act. Do you see yourself with this person for years or for the moment? Once you know what you really want you can't let her stand in your way. If it's not to be with her then let her go no matter what but if you do decide you want her then think about what the problem is that keeps you deciding to leave and try to fix that problem. Some people are drama people so you have to think is she just a drama queen or what. Don't put her feelings in front of yours let her go. Put your foot down but do it in person so that she knows you mean it. When she put on the drama act hold her and tell her it got to be this way and you she will find someone else someday.
2007-04-16 15:05:55 · answer #3 · answered by MEL 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
put a bullet or two right between the eyes.
no seriously, just get another girlfriend and stop making plans with her. get really busy all of the sudden, better if it is legitimate (like school or work or hobby.) get a busy life...then you can suddenly not have time for her anymore.
2007-04-16 14:41:26 · answer #4 · answered by kevbeer2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to hook up with the other chick on here that asked the same question about her boyfriend 5 minutes ago!! how weird!! yeah end it with her, dont drag it out, be strong!
2007-04-16 14:41:22 · answer #5 · answered by hope 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋