paternal rights?

Question

I have a boyfriend somewhat I am 39 years old, and a first time mother to a 16 month old and when he was born I decided not to put the father on the birth cerificate(boyfriend) because I wasn't sure if his heart would be into it. In my opinion you are a full time parent regardless of the situation. We all live together and he has yet to give his son his name and he was a loving father but over the past 2 months that has changed hangs out with his friends and the other night he stayed out all night and came home the next afternoon, my thoughts are to get rid of him and just raise my son without him.
My son is the most inportant person in my life and I owe him protection from a indfferent father at times.

I don't want child support from him if he going to be this way. Can he even if I have not listed him on the birth cerificate demand a DNA test? He has had 16 months to put his name on the birth cert. I feel he should want to I just didn't want to list him when my son was born our relationship was shakey at my son's birth.

Answer 1

IF you live in the U.S...

It doesn’t matter that his name is not on the birth certificate. He can still petition the court to establish paternity. And if he does, a dna test will be ordered. Once paternity is established, he will be able to petition for custody/visitation (and, of course, he will also have the obligation of paying child support). And he will get at least visitation, unless he’s unfit/a danger to the child, and there’s nothing in your post to indicate that’s the case.

What exactly do you think your child needs protection from? Dad hangs out with his friends and stayed out all night. That may make him a crappy boyfriend, but it doesn’t make him a crappy Dad. I’m a wonderful mother, but on occasion, I hang out with my friends, and there have even been times when me/my kids have spent the night away from each other.

Unless there’s something you haven’t mentioned, this is not about protecting your child. This is about you being pissed at Dad.

The decisions that you’re making—denying Dad and child the right to have a relationship and denying your child the right to receive financial support from his father—are selfish ones. Your child is the one who will be hurt by them in the long run. If you love your child as much as you claim—and I’m sure you do—then you need to make decisions that are BEST for the CHILD (not you).

Answer 2

Unless he is deemed a threat to the child, he does have paternal rights. You would have primary custody but if he wanted he could have visitation etc. He could even get a court order for a DNA test proofing the child is his. If he is not interested in the child, perhaps you can suggest that he sign away his rights to the boy. What do you mean give the boy his name? Do you mean surname because that would be whatever you had put on the birth Certificate. So i dont see how your boyfriend could give the boy his name, it would have to legal be changed.

Answer 3

I am sorry that you are going through all that. but your thoughts are right. you have to think of your child first and what is best for him and you. your son does not need that situation in his life. I have raised my son since birth by my self. and not once did his father show him any interest in him. good luck. and best wishes, everything will be fine. and being a single mom and raising my son alone I think I did a great Job and I know you can too.

Answer 4

Well your bf needs to grow up! He has responsibilities now. I feel if he is "hanging out with friends" and not coming home until the day, then something is up. I don't want to panic you or put more stress, but sounds like he may be cheating. Why else would he not want to be home with his family and stay out all night? He need to confront him and set him right. Tell him what you want from him and if he can not provide it then maybe it is time to move on. As far as paternal rights, seek legal council. Each stated differs.

Good Luck to you.

Answer 5

The thing here is if you go after child support then dad is entitled to visitation rights, but if you dont go after support and not having him listed as the father then you may be able to go it alone unless he fights you. If you get him involved or if he does, either way a paternal test will be required to prove him as the father. Choice is yours

Answer 6

So? What is the question? I don't think you need anyone to tell you what you should do you sound wise and you are right your son is the most important thing in your life and never forget it...and be kind when he grows up and you have given up ever happiness for his when he leaves you and finds himself a girl and it is Mom Who????good luck...