My boyfriend constantly picks on me. I mean he really makes me feel bad about myself. He finds the littlest things wrong with me and throws it in my face as if i hadn't already noticed them. Like if i have a pimple or something he'll say you dont wash your face or what. He says he just kidding but it really is affecting my self-esteem. IS THIS HEALTHY? What should i do? I've already told him it bothers me but he continues to insult me and says that i cant take a joke.
2007-04-16 12:51:29 · 42 answers · asked by Nicole 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No, this is not a healthy relationship. The fact that you're asking it tells me that you probably know that already. He isn't going to change unless he wants to - and it doesn't look like he wants to if he is still doing it. You have choices. You can stay with him and hope he decides to change (and let him tear you down) or you can walk away and find someone who will treat you with the respect you deserve. Best of Luck!
2007-04-16 12:56:10 · answer #1 · answered by Gatekeeper 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is not a healthy relationship. If his jokes are hurting you that is verbal abuse! Its not the extreme form but it still is. And since you already spoke to him and expressed you feelings and he pursuits to do it, that shows that he is immature and not considerate of your feelings. Maybe you cant take a joke, and if he is aware of that and respected your feelings he would have quit. Sounds to me like he is insecure with his self if he has to pick out small imperfections that you have. A boyfriend is suppose to boost your self esteem, tell you your beautiful, and make you feel good about yourself not put you down. This is not a healthy relationship because it can lead to stress. I'm speaking from experience. I suffered from terrible migraines and stress related problems from a long term relationship. I was worried about little things since he would always bring something up. Anyone that puts you down doesn't have your best interest at heart, you deserve the best and should never settle for anything less. Currently I'm majoring in psychology so I know the damage that words can do to people emotionally due to case studies i have researched. So speaking from experience and soon to be expert opinion when i get my degree (lol) this is not a healthy relationship.
2007-04-16 13:00:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is not a healthy relationship! Get rid of this guy, he'll never change and it could only get worse. It could even get physically abusive further on down the road, believe it from someone who knows. It sounds to me as though he has some issues of him being insecure which is why he puts you down. You don't deserve this, there's too many nice guys out there who wouldn't insult you. It's no joke when a person acts the way he does.
2007-04-16 12:56:55 · answer #3 · answered by Gracie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think it is right for your boyfriend to do that to you. I dont think it is healthly at all. I think he is being down right mean. Yes I know you told him how you feel about it but were you serious about it or you kinda made a joke if you did he wont take you serious. If you told him in a serious way I dont know if he understood you. If I were you I would dump him for the facked of that. But if you love him I say you should tell him your serious and get mad at him every time he dose it and think of thing to get your point through. The other thing I could say is give him a tast of his own medion and do the same thing to him find his little falts find the smalest you can find and just do it I know it is mean but it might get him to stop. Try to look how his parents are. They might be picky and thats were he might have pick up on it. Or just talk to his parents about it. That seems to help when my brothers girl friends talk to my parents about stuff there bothered about. I hope I help you
2007-04-16 12:59:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i know exactly what this is like, i was that boyfriend a year ago, i did it because i thought it was funny. i also did it not being serious at all. I am from NY and moved to Oklahoma and found an amazing girlfriend here, but i was always being "mean" and i didnt understand where she was coming from because in NY thats just how people talked, or acted. Now that i am here i realized that i cannot treat her like that, it took a lot of work to change and respect her more, but the bottom line is i realized i loved her, and if i wanted our relationship to work i had to have more respect, the same respect that she has for me. I think you should just tell him exactly how you feel, and if he cares he will make the change.......good luck ;)
2007-04-16 12:57:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
he sounds like an insensitive ***. Why be in a relationship where u are under constant verbal assult (thats what it is so lets call it that) Abuse is abuse. Words can sometimes leave more damage than a fist.
get out and go 2 counceling 2 help build back up ur self-esteem, then go out and find a good man.
2007-04-16 12:57:05 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Geo 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi there,
Fist of all, I wouldn't accept this type of behavior from my boyfriend, I would simply walk away. Anyway, if you really like him or dare I say it in love with him (i don't know how old you are) then I would simply come out and tell him that all these mean comments are hurting you and that you won't stand for this type of behavior. Respect goes both ways, and if he can't do that then how can he be in a relationship with you? You deserve better.
Good luck
2007-04-16 12:57:43 · answer #7 · answered by phadzipantelis 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO Sweets its not healthy and only has the potential to get worse. YOu deserve more in life, and happiness. Happiness is not a bully boyfriend. Dont let know one tell you things to hurt you and still stick around. I been in a realtionship like that, and at the end I almost lost my life because all it did is escalte. Get rid of him. Life is meant to be fullfilling. Im glad I learned.
2007-04-16 12:55:27 · answer #8 · answered by Mochica 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he really DOES think he's just joking. I've had friends like this, who were actually hurting my feelings but thought it was only a joke. I would sit him down & tell him again what he's saying is actually bringing down your self-esteem & hurting your feelings. And if he's says you can't take a joke again, then tell him to get lost. There's tons of guys out there who will treat you better!
Good Luck :o)
2007-04-16 12:56:07 · answer #9 · answered by ohsnapbeth 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get rid of him. ASAP. It's guys like this that ruin it for the rest of us. If you wait too long, you may be affected by his lies and as you say, lose all self-esteem. Girls that have been hurt usually are hurt by guys like this, and it takes a nice guy to make up for it. Unfortunately, the jackasses outnumber us nice guys by a ridiculous margin. Get rid of him and search for someone that'll treat you right.
2007-04-16 12:58:34 · answer #10 · answered by Chris 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋