I have a one and a half year old son that doesn't listen and I just found out that I am pregnant what can I do

Answer 1

Pray!!!!

Answer 2

Your son probably doesn't listen because the rules are inconsistent. When 18 month olds know what to expect in terms of actions & consequences, and those variable never (or rarely) change, they learn to operate within those expectations.

You are probably going to be feeling very tired, nauseated, and cranky for the next couple of months, making the job ahead of you even harder. But you really need to get a handle on disciplining your toddler before that new baby comes along!

I suggest toddler-proofing your home to the greatest possible extent, to remove as many of the daily "no's" as possible. Then, choose the "no's" that you consider the most important for him to learn to respect/obey, and be his shadow for the next several days. EVERY time he tries to do the thing he knows is a "no", you have to be there to remove him from the scene of the crime. Not everything requires a harsh consequence; in fact sometimes the consequence can simply be removing the child from the activity or area. If he's pushing buttons on the TV, TV goes off and he goes to another room where he can't get to it. If he's throwing his food, his plate gets taken to the counter and he gets cleaned up & sent down from the table. He'll throw some fits for sure, because he's learned that you're going to give in eventually... if he can just scream loud enough, or sound pathetic enough... You have to reteach him that your warnings are worth listening to, that when you say 1-2-3... there WILL be a consequence.

BTW, with the food situation, you can certainly let him back up to the table after 10 min. or so-- I'm not advocating making him skip a whole meal, or you'd have a different monster on your hands! But the consequence should relate directly to the action, as much as humanly possible.

When you apply the rules consistently, without shouting or getting angry every time, you'll see results in just a few days, even with really stubborn toddlers (of which I've had my share!). The trick is to shadow them and catch them at it EVERY time. If they get away with it sometimes, or if they've learned that you won't get up to stop them when you're on the phone/at the computer/watching your stories, then the ONE time you do get fed up, shout at them, and pop their bottom has almost zero long-term effect.

Best of luck to you! You are going to make a great mom of two, once you feel confident enough dealing with disciplining your toddler. :)

Answer 3

Start from now on teaching him that there are consequences if he does not listen, I know it is hard at that age, but I learned from experience you need to get a grip on it now. And by consequences I only mean time out or taking things away, or the corner always got to my daughter the most (and I did have to hold her there on occasion). Only give 1 warning and then act no matter how worn out you are if you slack off once you have started they will be 10x worse. Consistancy is the key after a month or so he will get it.

Answer 4

Realize that you are FAR from the first woman to deal with that.

One and a half year olds don't listen the majority of the time. That's kind of the standard. It's not fun, but that's the case. The so-called "terrible twos" strike well before the second birthday in MOST children.

Do what you can to get him somewhat under control, particularly when it comes to eating and sleeping, two things that are HARD to work intently on when you're also caring for a newborn. If the kid is on a bottle and you don't intend for him to be when the baby is born, wean him now. It won't be too effective if you attempt to wean him to a sippy cup or regular cup a month before the baby comes, and the bottle is introduced back into the home. Also, if he gets up often in the night, doesn't have a bedtime, or is used to co-sleeping (and you're not wanting to have two kids sleeping with you), work on those things now, so that when the baby comes, he's not having to deal with too many major things in his life (and to a two-year-old, loss of a bottle or having to transfer into another room or bed IS a major thing).

Get rest when you can. My older son is 20 months older than my younger one, and I think that's probably the most difficult for a pregnant mom. My sisters are both pregnant right now, and one has an almost four-year-old, the other has an almost-two-year-old. The four-year-old will probably have a more difficult time giving up being king of the house, and currently, he's really active, but for the most part, my sister lets him run ahead of her a little. It's not a huge physical strain. My other sister, with the toddler, is amazed that she is exhausted all the time. The big difference is that she's carrying a toddler, since Ashlyn can't run off by herself that much yet. So eat healthy and get rest whenever possible.

It's up to you whether you want to try to explain the whole concept of a new baby joining the family to your toddler. On the one hand, you don't want it to come as a shock, but on the other, nine months is half of his life so far. Even my four-year-old nephew has had a difficult time understanding that the baby is coming after months. For several months now, he's thought the baby would be here "next weeks ago". My toddler niece has no clue. They'll probably start working the idea out for her in the last month of pregnancy, trying to teach her how to hold and touch a baby, etc.

If you have a reliable support system, use it. Having a baby and a toddler is hard work, but having a toddler and being pregnant is no picnic either.

It'll be okay. You have, what, eight or more months for him to work through the roughest patches of the terrible twos phase.

Congratulations!

Oh, and by the way, any cruel comments about how you won't be able to handle it or you aren't a good mom or you need parenting classes are completely uncalled for. Plenty of women freak when they get pregnant and have a small child. I even had that kind of reaction after being pregnant for about two months, and we had even planned that child. It was then that my son really got the hang of the terrible twos, and I wished more than anything that I could roll the clock back. If you feel overwhelmed, parenting classes may be good for you. It's a whole different situation having two young children than it is having one. Take a deep breath, try to calm down, and keep in mind, you have the better part of a year to prepare yourself, your child, and your lifestyle for this second child.

Also, I think the people who stressed the need for consistancy were right on the mark. If you are inconsistant with rules and expectations, your child will not "get" that it's important to live by them. Also, pick your battles. Throwing food on the floor/walls/table/parents is absolutely unacceptable. Insisting on getting his own socks on and wearing one blue dress sock and one white crew sock to daycare or out shopping is not really worth the struggle.

Babyproofing your home is more important than ever now. Say you don't have an electrical outlet babyproofed, and your son thinks it would be cool to stick his metal fork into the socket. If you're 7 or 8 or 9 months pregnant, chances are, you will not get to that baby in time to stop him, especially if you're sitting down. Taking away most opportunities for him to cause trouble will be more effective than if you put him in time out all the time.

When he goes in time out, the standard is 1 to 1.5 minutes per year, so your son's time out should actually last from 1.5 minutes to three minutes. Seems like nothing, but it's a pretty long time to a toddler. Plus, with a lot of kids, being forced to stay in time out for more than just a few minutes is ineffective: they whine, sit down, or walk away.

Answer 5

I guess alcohol is out of the question... just kidding.
Most one and-a-half year olds don't listen. Be consistent. Try to stop a negative action BEFORE it happens. Remove him from a situation where you know he'll find trouble. He's a little young for time outs so try putting him in a playpen or crib to play when he's doing something he shouldn't to distract him from the "bad" behavior.

Hiring a nanny sounds good, too!
Good luck!!

Answer 6

Children this age aren't capable of listening. What you can do is start implementing a disciple technique now so when he's old enough to begin understanding you've laid the groundwork. Try 1-2-3 Magic (it's for ages 2-12) it worked wonders for me.

Answer 7

Very few 1-1/2 yr olds listen. Start taking some parenting classes. You are going to need them with another child on the way.

Answer 8

This is so trying...I have a 4 year old who hardly listens as well as a 6 month old. I try to keep calm, I use a naughty stool for bad behaviour and not listening. I take things away from him for lengths of time when he does not listen. It is the essence of parenting......just remain calm...trust me it gets WORSE if you get upset!!!!! Good luck to you.

Answer 9

well 1 1/2 year olds dont usually listen that well! So its normal. Just gotta be consistent with him as far as what you do when he doesnt listen...for example if you tell him he has to stop playing and come eat or whatever, and he doesnt come, you just go pick him up and bring him to table......and you can say if you cant do it on your own then i will help you do it.....soemthing along those lines....and just remember to keep your expectations realistic....he is still very young!

Answer 10

y doesnt he listen,he is only a child after all but he does understand everything.ur not bein assertive enough,remember ur in charge if he still doesnt listen explain 2 him that his behaviour isnt acceptable and if he carries on he'll have 2 go time out(sit him in the corner 4 10mins).consistentcy is the key,doesnt matter if he keeps moving put him bak.i had to do it with my lil boy,it breaks ur heart hearin them cry but if ur consistent at the end u get a great reward,x.tc.

Answer 11

Be consistent. It's probably not so much that he doesn't listen as he is so focused on what ever he is doing at the time.

When you need to get his attention go to where he is and get down on his level and speak directly to him. If he is doing something you don't want him to do, then go to him and stop him from doing it.