Where do you think many parents go wrong when it comes to talking about sex?

Question

As a teen myself, I think parents are not checking with the self esteem issues. It is easier to reject sex when you feel secure with yourself. Because then you will know that you are making the right decision because you are confident in yourself.



That's what I think. And when you answer make sure to state whether you are a parent, or a teacher, or a counselor, some random dude, or a teen like me. Or whatever you are.

Answer 1

I think the biggest problem is that kids are afraid to talk to their parents about stuff, for fear of their reaction.

I hope that I will do a better job with my daughter. I want her to be able to talk to me about anything, and ask questions.

I do agree with you that kids need a healthy self-esteem to deal with peer pressure, and girls, especially, need lots of love and affection from their dads (don't laugh!) Because if they have a strong relationship with their father, they are less likely to go looking for male affection and attention.

They say that teen girls who are involved in sports are less likely to have sex. That makes sense. They are busy, and have more confidence and self-esteem.

I also think that curiosity plays a big part. Kids are curious. They want to know what it's like.

Answer 2

It really has a lot to do with making it an all aspect encompassing coversation. Parents say "don't have sex until your 30!" and others say "use a condom!" and some don't say anything at all, they either skirt around it for THEIR feelings of awkwardness, they're in denial, they're lazy or they think that kids get the necessary education from their school. The thing is, the sex talk is more than contraception. It's about how to deal with a sexual situation w/ someone you're dating, how to pick and choose, how to deal with pressures of sex, how to know when the guy is gonna "love ya and leave ya" or when it's somthing you won't regret. It's about educating when sex is the right time, how important it is to take precautions due to so many STD's just getting passed around like colds and just as important, teen pregnancy. Parents don't share their past experiences and relate to the kid, instead get caught up in what "parenting is supposed to be" rathen than leading and educating. When it comes down to it I think a lot of parents take an awkward standpoint and sheepishly toss a condom over and say "this is important" rather than getting into the nitty-gritty of life and reality. And then if it's not that you have the parents that just say "don't do it!"... it's about being real with yourself and your kid about how life works.

Answer 3

I am a teen as well, and my parents have had "the talk" with me several times over. I think the biggest problem when it comes to talking about this with them is they try to be all patronizing and they'll try to talk down to me.

They often have a one-sided conversation, and they don't leave time for me to ask my own questions or to take part in the communication, and that's something that annoys me immensely. But also, they automatically assume that all teens are going to go "all the way" by the time they turn 15, and that's definitely not an accurate assumption to make.

Answer 4

The biggest mistakes parents make when it comes to sex is making it off limits. Not sex of course, but just the topic period. I can't count the number of times I've heard the response "You're too young to know." That is in fact, NEVER the case. If a child asks, they ARE old enough for an answer. Maybe not all the nitty gritty details at a young age, but ANY truthful answer will suffice. Sex is a topic that should never for any reason be off limits. It should be discussed openly, honestly, and as often as you or your child feel is required.

What's wrong with wanting to know your child is considering having sex? Personally, I plan on my son constantly carrying a condom, and I want my daughter (if I ever have one) on BC as soon as she starts her period. BC isn't a green light for sex, a lot of it has to do with how you raise your kids.

Answer 5

so, i am 13, and my parents never gave me "the talk". but, they DID raise me in an enviroment, where it was not something that was like forbidden to talk about. if i have questions, i feel open to ask them. with today's world, you don't have to explain to your kids what it is, they will probably learn enough of that watching movies, or even just talking with friends. it is different for a guy then a girl, this is obviously just from a girl's point of view. but, i know that i will not have sex until i am at least engaged, because that is my personal belief. no matter what you say, your kids will set standards, it is your job to encourage them to make the right decisions, without being insanely controlling. if they want to do IT, they will find a way, tell them what u honestly feel about it, it might enduse some interesting conversations

Answer 6

I think parents scare their kids about sex or they take the other extreme and while trying to protect them from the world they don't tell them about it at all. Step parent of a 12 yr old her mom told her about it when she was 9 and went way overboard like telling her to let her mom know when she was ready to have sex so she get get on birth control.

Answer 7

They're not talking about it. It's a matter of don't do it, it's bad, but come talk to me if you want when you have questions. They need to sit down and have an open dialog with their children whether their children want to or not. Exactly, make your child feel comfortable with who they are and make sure they feel comfortable to talk with you or who to talk to if they don't feel quite comfortable yet. Many parents make sex look and sound bad, which then makes their child feel like they will disappoint them if they are interested in it, but if they make them feel comfortable about talking about it, then they will be more likely to talk to the parent so proper precautions can be taken. They can't make their decisions for them, but they can support them in their own.

Answer 8

I am not a parent, just someone who wishes my mother had spoken to me at a much earlier age than she did about sex.
I may not have been a statistic of sexual abuse if I had known the difference between affection and molestation.
It's not about self-esteem, it's about morals, good judgement, and self-respect.
Don't you want to find a man to love you, cherish you, and spend the rest of his life with you...
Respect yourself, and your self-esteem will find it's way into your beliefs and give you strength.

Answer 9

you have to understand, between the time your parents where your age and you now their was something called the "sexual revolution".


sex used to be very taboo and not talked about, dads would sometimes give their boys a rights of passage speech, but that was it. their was no sex education.

of course now those children are the parents today, me and your parents etc and we know its important for kids to know, but we dont know how to do it because it never happend to us as kids

Answer 10

You know what my parents taught me about sex?
squat, unless don't do it counts.
I think you're right though, it would be a good idea to address self esteem issues.