I can not understand why people would put their child in a daycare system.?

Question

I hear a lot about people putting babies in a daycare.

My question is WHY? Why would you want to have a kid and give to some one else to raise. That is what they are doing.

I have worked 2 and sometimes 3 jobs so my wife could stay home with the kids until they were old enough for school. Then she found a job.

I know life is not easy but the 2 of you can work separate shifts to keep the kids with a PARENT.

Solution; I am the DAD, with the kids. Single dad at that. I get no money from my wife soon to be ex. I am not rich, nor do I live in a big home, or drive a nice car. I get my kids to school on time, I go to work, I pick up the kids. I am DAD. I worked hard to get to where I can be SUPERDAD. I do not have a college ed.

I did fail to mention that me and the wife are separated now for 3 months. I have the kids now.

Answer 1

Your exactly right! Not only is it having someone else raise your child, how well are those people watching your child? My cousin had her son in day care and one of the ladies left a pair of scissors oh her desk, her son walked right over and cut his finger! Where was that woman when he was doing this? and what went thru her mind leaving scissors out in the open in a room full of children? Me and my boyfriend work different shifts so we won't have to put her in Day care, I'm with her until 4 30 and then she's with her daddy until i get home.

Answer 2

So, first off, this scenario has you working the extra shifts so mom can stay home. But what if mom doesn't WANT to stay home? Would you have given up working for several years (5+) so that kids could be raised by parents? not everyone wants to do that.

For the record, both my husband and I will work, but we have different shifts so we dont need daycare. However, if this were not the case, I would NOT give up my job. I make more than my husband (about 50% more), so he'd have to be the one to give up his job if one of us did-- and he would go absoultely insane. He starts in the afternoon and gets up a few hours before that, and he's constnatly mowing the lawn or cutting down trees or painting or SOMETHING to keep him busy....he would not be satisified/fulfilled otherwise.

I dont understand why people think its EITHER / OR. Why can't you have a fulfilling career and be a good parent? Lots of parents are MUCH better parents to their children then the full time ones, becuase its about QUALITY not QUANTITY.

Answer 3

Oh sure parents could work two separate shifts or one parent could work 2/3 jobs and while doing so they could grow apart and never see each other long enough to spend quality time together and the bills would probably barely get paid. As nice as it would be for all parents to stay at home with their kids for some it is not financially or emotionally possible. Daycare is not a necessity just an alternative resource. Also in this day in age not all children have two responsible parents. Next time think about all of the scenarios and not just the idealistic.

Answer 4

I agree with you to a certain point. I do not understand some parents who work a lot of hours just so they can "keep up with the Jone's" while their kids are being raised by someone else. Why would you decide to have kids if you are going to have someone else take care of them for 10 hours a day? Just don't have kids! Also if someone if only making $ 7 or $8 dollars and hour and they are not married or alone raising their child why would you have kids. To me that is broke. I won't leave my kids to be watched by someone I found on line or in the damn newspaper! EVER!!

Answer 5

I used to feel the same way! I thought "Why even have kids at all, if you're not going to be there to raise them?"

But, after my first marriage failed, and I was 34 before I got married again and had my first baby at 35, I couldn't wait any longer until we had the financial ability for me to be a stay at home mom. So, I had to put my baby in daycare at 4 months old. Well, you know what? She loves it! She is in daycare right across the street from my office, so I see her every day on my lunch hour, and still breastfeed her (she is 19 months old.)

Whenever I go over there, she is happy and playing with the other kids, and they have art and music and play outside. It's wonderful! She is so smart and loves her teachers, and they take such good care of her. I think she will be so much better adapted and ready for school when she is 5 years old. She already knows about routines and how to get along with others.

For us, daycare was not a choice. I work full time and have benefits, and my husband has his own business and could not afford benefits for us at this point. Maybe somewhere down the road.

Sometimes daycare is a better option. My sister is a stay-at-home mom, and she is always flustered and depressed. It's not for everyone. My best friend was a stay-at-home mom but after struggling with it for almost a year, finally decided to go back to work. She is much happier.

Once I get home, I can concentrate on fully enjoying my baby. I still have my job and don't feel like I've lost myself to being a parent. I think I'm a good mom. I spend the entire weekend with her, taking her to the zoo, and the park, and playing with her. But, I couldn't do that 7 days a week. I think she'd be bored, too!

Answer 6

I am very thankful that I was able to be a stay at home mom. Being able to be there for my children was very important to me. It sounds like your wife is also very lucky to have a husband that is willing to work extra jobs so that she can stay home and raise the children.
There are a lot of single parents in the world today, they are the primary bread winner. They don't have any other option but to put their child/children in daycare. I am certain that they would rather be at home enjoying their child/children than having to drop them off at daycare.
My sister has four children and worked her tail off trying to provide for them. As a single mom, she had no choice but to put them in daycare. Was it hard on her? Yes, it was. But her children had a roof over their head, clothes on their backs and food in their tummy. Some people just don't have the option. They just have to survive!

Answer 7

Both my husband work full time so my son is in daycare. However I do not feel like someone else is rasing my child. I do not have the luxery to stay home. Maybe one day I will and yes I would rather have my child home with me but right now we dont have that choice. We both work seprate shifts but he works nights I work days. If my son stayed home my husband would have no time to sleep. We our both still very young. I 24 my hubby 25. We are basicly just starting out and we have another baby on the way. Our plans now are to both work until we are financially stable enough for me to stay home. If it all works out will be in the next 2 years.

Answer 8

I don't believe that all women are comfortable staying at home with their children all the time. Some go getters would rather be at work and continue to work while they support their family at home as well. Putting all the stress on one parent can cause marital problems which would eventually come across to the children. I think it is up to the mom. Also keep in mind that if a child is socially behind or if their home life is not consistant (not that I am saying anything about you, just in general) day care can be very productive in helping them learn to bond with people.

Answer 9

It's a myth that a sitter is raising your kids unless you stay home with them. If not, no parent has ever raised their child because from age 5 or 6 the government says they have to go to school where they go for a comparable number of hours to the amount of time that kids go to baby sitting and only a small percentage of kids are home schooled. With both baby sitting and school, you get to see your child when you are not working, as well as Holidays, Weekends and vacations. Think also that while your children stay home with their mother, you too had children for somebody else to raise-even if that somebody else happens to be your wife but you still feel like you are raising them because you spend time with them, right? Not everybody has the luxury of being able to find work around their child care schedule and about 50% (if not higher) of US households are actually run by only one parent-not always women. Nobody gets married expecting marriage to end but sometimes it does because people don't always change for the best. My ex left me while I was still pregnant for the clerk that collected his fine for a speeding ticket and I had no family or anyone to turn to except paid help. I had my boy whom is a happily adjusted, vivacious 9 yr. old, getting all A's in school and everybody tells me what a great work I've done and you know what? They are right. I pumped to breast feed him even when he was in care, taught him to read before he entered Kindergarten, and singlehandedly managed to buy and keep a house where we both live. On the other hand, the boy next door has both parents whom alternate to do his care and he recently got banned from taking the school bus because of his violent behavior. He came here once and never did again because Disney movies were not good enough for him; he wanted Friday the 13th and horror movies which my son is not allowed to watch. It's not the number of parents or the schedule they keep; it's the amount of supervision and involvement and the quality of those things.

Answer 10

Because sometimes the father leaves the mother and the mother might not have family to go to or she left the baby with the father, not every household has a mother and a father. Besides they are just watching the children like in preschool and the kids normally get the education they need so no need to worry too much.

Answer 11

Sometimes what you did simply isn't possible. Not everyone can work the way you did. And honestly, if you are so exhausted from working the night shift, how can you really take good care of your child? I had a friend who tried this; he ended up locking his son in his room for three to four hours a day so that he (the adult) could get some sleep. Not an ideal solution.
In addition, going to daycare can be good for children, particularly an only child. It gives them the opportunity to learn how to behave around other children, as well as make friends at a young age. In many schools, they also prepare the children for entering kindergarten. Not every parent is cut out to be a teacher, and this guidance is invaluable to them. I wish I had realized this earlier and allowed my daughter to go to preschool a few days a week at a younger age instead of keeping her home all the time.