How do you decide when to wean from breastfeeding?

Question

I always planned on breastfeeding my daughter for at least a year. Now she is 13 months and is quite happy to continue nursing. I feel no urge to stop, but I wonder when I should? I do worry about what other people think but I don't want that to be the reason I wean my daughter.
How did you decide when to wean your son/daughter? My daughter has shown no signs of self weaning at all. She has responded well to me slowly easing her out of her start of the day nursing. She is down to naps and bedtime nursing (3x a day total).
I want to make the decision for the right reasons, not becuase others think it is wierd or wrong to nurse a 13 month old.

Also, if you did breastfeed to an older age how did you respond to rude comments like "Are you STILL nursing?"

Note: my daughter does drink water and milk from a sippy cup . She also eats three meals and snacks in solids, very healthy foods, usually what her father and I are eating. Breastmilk is not her only source of food.

Answer 1

Weaning is not a negative term, nor is it something that you do to a child. Weaning is a journey from one relationship to another. The Hebrew word for wean is gamal, meaning "to ripen." In ancient times, when children were breastfed until two or three years of age, it was a joyous occasion when a child weaned. It meant the child was filled with the basic tools of the earlier stages of development and secure and ready to enter the next stage of development. A child who is weaned before his time may show anger, aggression, habitual tantrum-like behavior, anxious attachment to caregivers, and an inability to form deep and intimate relationships. We call these traits diseases of premature weaning.

While we advocate extended breastfeeding that comes to a natural end when the child is ready, we realize this ideal is not always attainable in every family situation. Breastfeeding is meant to be a pleasurable experience. When one or both members of the mother-infant pair aren't enjoying it anymore, it's time to wean. After all, all good things must come to a timely end.

WHEN TO WEAN
In many cultures a baby is breastfed for two or three years. Our western culture is accustomed to viewing breastfeeding in terms of months. This is not the norm the world over. While weaning is a personal decision, nutritionists and physicians advise breastfeeding for at least one year because by that time most infants have outgrown most of their food allergies and will thrive on alternative nourishment. We urge mothers to think in terms of years, not months, when contemplating how long to nurse. Breastfeeding is a long-term investment in your child. You want to give your baby the best emotional, physical, and mental start. Extended breastfeeding is nature's way of filling your baby's need for intimacy and appropriate dependency on other people. If these needs are met early on, your child will grow up to be a sensitive and independent adult. We have noticed that children not weaned before their time are:

more independent and self-confident
Gravitate to people rather than things
Are easier to discipline
Experience less anger
Radiate trust
Former Surgeon General, Dr. Antonia Novello, proclaimed: "It's the lucky baby, I feel, who continues to nurse until he's two." A baby's sucking need lessens sometime between nine months and three years. The age at which this need lessens is individual, yet very few babies are emotionally filled and ready to wean before a year. Have confidence in your intuition. While this beautiful breastfeeding relationship may seem like it will never end, you are laying a solid foundation for the person your child will later become. Cutting corners now will only create problems in the future.

HOW TO WEAN
The key to healthy weaning is doing it gradually. Remember, you are helping your child into a new stage of development, not forcing him into it. This is not the time for you and your husband to go on a week-long vacation to the Bajamas. Weaning by desertion is traumatic and may backfire. The following are suggestions for gradually weaning your child:

Start by skipping a least favorite feeding, such as in the middle of the day. Instead, engage in a fun activity together, such as reading a book or playing a game. Nap and night nursings are favorite feedings and will probably be the last to go.
Minimize situations that induce breastfeeding, such as sitting in a rocking chair or cradling baby. If you put baby in a familiar breastfeeding setting, he will want to breastfeed.
Use the "don't offer, don't refuse" method. Don't go out of your way to remind her to nurse. However, if your child persists, or her behavior deteriorates, this may indicate that breastfeeding is still a need rather than a want. Watch your child and trust your intuition.
Become a moving target. Don't sit down in one place for any length of time. But, remember, weaning means releasing, not rejecting. Breastfeeding helps the child venture from the known to the unknown. If you don't let your child make brief pit stops, he may insist on lengthy feedings when he finally gets you to sit down. Checking into homebase and refueling reassures him that it's okay to explore his environment, and gives him the emotional boost to venture out. Rejecting this need could developmentally cripple your child.
Keep baby busy. Nothing triggers the desire to breastfeed like boredom. Sing songs, read books, or go on an outing together.
Set limits. Putting limits on nursing, such as: "We only nurse when Mr. Sun goes down and when Mr. Sun comes up" does not make you a bad parent.
Don't wean baby from you to an object, such as a stuffed animal or blanket. Ideally, you want to wean baby from your breast to an alternative source of emotional nourishment. This is when dad should begin to take on a more involved role in comforting. As dad's role in baby's life becomes bigger, nursing will be less important.
Expect breastfeeding to increase during times of illness. These are times when your child needs comfort and an immune system boost.
Life is a series of weanings for a child: weaning from your womb, your breast, your bed, and your home. The pace at which children wean go from oneness to separateness is different for every child, and this should be respected. In our experience, the most secure, independent, and happy children are those who have not been weaned before their time

Answer 2

The World Health Organization, the American Academy of Family Physicians and several other organizations of health professionals advise nursing until at least age 2. The health and emotional benefits for both the mother and baby continue as long as the pair continues breastfeeding.

You should stop when one of you wants to stop. Some people wait for their children to decide, usually when they are between 2 1/2 and 4 years old, but if you don't want to breastfeed and it is causing problems with your relationship with your daughter, then it is probably time to stop.

I plan to breastfeed my son (5 months old) for at least 2 years. The people I have known who breastfeed older children (18 months +) often only nursed at home, and only told their close friends that they were nursing because people do make rude comments. If your daughter continues to nurse 3x/day before naps and bed, it should never come up. If it does, let the person who is making the comments know that you are doing what is best for your daughter's physical and emotional health.

Answer 3

For me, I waited until my son decreased his nursing on his own. He was completely weaned by his first birthday. I think the main cause of his "early" weaning was 1- he ate 4-5 solid meals a day like a champ! 2- he is a thumb sucker so he had an alternate source of "comfort" besides nursing.

I would say, just let her wean when she is ready and don't worry about rude comments. If she only nurses before naps and bed, who really needs to know!?!

Answer 4

My 2 older children were weaned a little after their 1st birthday because I was expecting another child. My youngest son was weaned around 15 months. Even though he had a very healthy appetite he wanted to nurse at naptime and before bedtime. I choose to wean his because he was just too big and he would climb in my lap and the most inappropriate times and lift my shirt up and demand to nurse.

Answer 5

I nursed until my daughter was 15 months. I planned on stopping at a year, but I let the weaning process take a few months- which made both of us ready. Just do what is right for you. If you and your child are not ready to stop, then don't!

Answer 6

My children all weaned themselves but if you and your baby want to continue nursing than go for it. Had my children continued to nurse past 13 months I probably would have weaned them by about 18 months. But that is how I feel you do what you think is best for you and your baby.

Answer 7

I am still nursing my 19 month old daughter, and yes, I get a lot of comments from people saying "you don't need to still breastfeed her." I know I don't NEED to, but she likes it, and I like it, and I see no need to quit.

I even just found out I'm pregnant, and oh boy, did I start getting the comments from people! "You should stop breastfeeding! You need to talk to your doctor!" Turns out, it's quite safe to continue breastfeeding all the way through pregnancy. Of course, I will talk to my doctor, but I don't really want to wean if I don't have to.

As long as you are happy, and your baby is happy, it's nobody else's business!

Answer 8

If she is happy and you are happy there is no need to wean her. I think its great! you are right to not care if others think it's weird, It is not at all.
You should decide to wean her when it feels right. maybe she will be 18 months, maybe she will be even older. It is totally up to you.
When people ask you rudely "are you still nursing" say something like "yes, we are both happy" or "yes, she is so healthy" or "sure am!"
best of luck to you, sounds like your doing a great job!

Answer 9

My daughter self-weaned at 11 months. I was surprised and a little sad - I'd planned on nursing her longer, and I miss our "cuddle" time.

If you're daughter's still interested, there's no reason why you need to stop any time soon.

Answer 10

You should do it until you and your daughter feel it is the right time to stop. I do recommend that you set boundaries and that your daughter not be able to come over and grab you and pull up your shirt to get at your breast, but if you and she are both discreet about it enjoy it while you can. There is no stronger bond.

As for rude comments - I would just smile and say "breast is best", or "it works for us", or "I am so lucky to be able to...". Depending on how bold you are, you can say "what's it to you?"

Don't worry about the people who have a negative opinion of it. They are missing something in their life that they would have to judge yours.

Answer 11

I breastfed my daughter until she was 14 months old. At about 13 months I slowly cut it back to just night-time feeds and that lasted for about four weeks until one night I just decided it was enough and then over a week gradually phased it out. Luckily she was very good for going to bed and it just worked out. It didn't bother me how old she was, I had no set date to actually phase it out, I just decided one day while I was nursing her, she looked up at me with a cheeky grin and bit down on me! That's about when I decided the time was right. I've known mums to feed until their babies are18 months - 2 years. You will know when the time is right.