Adoption???

Question

Well it comes to me that almost every where you have to be married to adopt... Is there anyway you can adopt w/o being married cuz me and my boyfriend have been together for 15 years and have one daughter who is 13 and she tends to get bored and she want a younger sibling to entertain but every where we look adoption is like 30,000$ or you have to be married.. Is there any where where we can adopt that we dont have to be married and we dont have to pay thousands of dollars or is that gonna be something that isn't gonna happen?

Its not that she wants a "play toy" she has wanted a sibling for years since she was six... and her aunt had a baby and now she's with the baby when ever she can and me and her father cant have any more kids and i relized this isnt a phase in her life its something she really wants and so do me and her father...

Answer 1

I have never been married and adopted 2 children through our state's DCF. I didn't have a lawyer, so it only cost $35 for filing the papers with the clerk of courts. they won't care that you're not married because you've been in a solid relationship for so long. there are lots of children that need good homes.

Answer 2

Adopting internationally might be an option for you. Many countries allow singles and common law couples to adopt. Every country has its only rules and guideline so you will have to do some research to find a country program that fits with you. (Ethiopia is one country that I know allows singles and common law couples to adopt).

Yes it can be a costly process -but it is not prohibative for medium to low income families. I am from Canada so my $$ figures will be from my experience here. Again the costs will vary greatly with the country you select. But here in Canada. On average an adoption of a single child averages about $20, 000 while the adoption of a sibling group of 2 is about $30, 000 (Again these are broad estimates as each country program is vastly different - these are based on an Ethiopian adoption, as that is where my experience is).

These costs include the travel to the country with a 2 week stay to pick up and bring your child home. You could possibly reduce these costs some by having your child escorted home. Then you only have the escort fee, and not flights/hotels/meals for your whole family travling there. However, I would highly recommend making the trip to the birth country of your child - as it is an important part of who they are.

Getting back on topic -I indicated that the cost is not prohibiative for middle to low income families -I say this because the $20,000 for example is paid out gradually over the course of the process - which is typically 18-24 months (longer or shorter depending on the country). Allowing you time to save and come up with creative financial solutions.

There is also an organization called Orphans Hope that gives out $10,000 grants to assist low income families with adoption costs.

Adoption, doemestically or internationally can be a very long, and emotional process. Yet in the end...soooo worth everything you put into it.

I would strongly suggest you take the time to do all the research before you begin to ensure you find the program that is best suited to your family.

Answer 3

Some states do require that the adopter be married. I would check with your local department of children and families and see what their conditions are. Also if you do go through them they can assist with the cost of a adoption. Sometimes even free services are given based on the case at hand. I wish you all the best.

Answer 4

I would really consider why it is your adopting. I didn't see you say anything about wanting a baby to love and nurture. Adopting a baby is a SERIOUS matter, not something you should just get for your teenage daughter who in 2 to 3 years will be so over it, you will regret doing it then the baby you brought into the picture will not have such a pleasant life

Answer 5

I say get her a puppy or a kitten, to adopt just so that your daughter would have someone to play with isn't the reason to adopt. Also a puppy or a kitten won't cost you much to purchase one, if you go to a shelter. I would go with the pet, another child would mean more money would be required to maintain the home and that would require more time on both your part and that of your boyfriend. Be careful. God Bless.

Answer 6

First of all, did you even read what you wrote? You want your daughter to have a toy when she gets bored? Buy her a practice baby. It's much cheaper and you won't have to marry you bf. If after that you still want a baby sign up to be a foster parent. You can give the baby back and you don't have to be married. That will give you all something to do.

Answer 7

you and your boyfriend have been togther 15 years and are not married, why not get married? you dont need a big church cearmony, but a simple service in the registra's office or a civil union perhaps?

i have never hered of marriage being a concern before (atlest not in the uk it isnt)

try looking further a feild to adopt, even if it means traveling.


obviously i dont know your personal situation but why not try for a child? you have been togther for 15 years and you proberly would enjoy it :)

Answer 8

check into being a foster parent. I do not know if you have to be married or not but they will give you all the info you need. You can adopt from foster care and it cost no money to adopt thru foster care. i am in that process now.

Answer 9

you don't always have to be married if you adopt a child out of the foster system. and if you are a tribal member of any sort, they also usually do not require adoption. but i would look at the foster system in your state first, those kids need homes very badly.

Answer 10

Most states and adoption agencies require the prospective adoptees to be married.