Do I draw a line somewhere?

Question

Me = agnostic theist
Wife = christian
son = 2 yrs old

I don't really want my wife to spoon feed my son all of this christian stuff that i dont believe in. I have not discussed it much with her because i know it is a fight waiting to happen. i would allow my son to go to church, but i dont want him baptised until atleast 18 and i want him to choose his own path. if he chooses to be christian im fine with that but i dont want his choice based on influences that undermine his innocence.

Answer 1

You are a good father. I wish there were more like you. Buy lots of books on science and different religions and comparative religions and leave them lying about the house. Let Johhny see you reading them.
That's how I grew up sane and sensible in a Christian home.

Answer 2

This is the sort of thing you should have talked about before you got married, certainly before you'd had kids.
But that's under the bridge now. You need to discuss it before he gets much older. Her expectations are probably not the same as yours and if you don't hash it out then it will lead to a MUCH bigger fight down the road.
But it is possible, just try to keep the discussion civil, find out what she wants for your son, then the two of you try to find a compromise. Easy to say, much harder to do.
Good luck

Answer 3

The best medicine for religious indoctrination is education.

Childhood indoctrination is religion's most potent tool for gaining converts, because children don't have the reason filters that adults do. Instinctually, they are biased to believe what parents tell them.

The best way to counteract it is just teaching your child how to reason. One way to do this may be totally secular. When advertisements are on TV, try to work out with your child the real claims they are making versus the empty words that are used. For example, ads can say their product is best, because that doesn't say much. However, when they compare specifics with competitor products, they have to be more careful about what they say. This will teach your child the difference between claims that are backed up and claims that are empty.

Also, make sure your child gets a good science education. Show your child that there are reasons why things happen and it doesn't require an invisible sky being to do it.

Answer 4

I think you really need to have this discussion with her about this. Waiting until there is a confrontation will only make it worse. If you try to talk about it whil neither of you is upset you might get a lot futher toward a viable compromise.

Good luck and Blessings,

Answer 5

Sounds like a plan. You should discuss this with your wife and explain your reasons. If she's a true Christian she will understand that it is each person's decision if they come to God or not.

Answer 6

I partially agree with you. Where I really agree is baptism is a declared choice of life based on personal knowledge, not for children. Your son must grow and learn before being capable of such a choice.

Answer 7

Wow. That's the kind of thing you really should have settled before having a child.

Still, I think you can compromise by making sure that he knows that Christianity is only one choice of religions (the one his mother believes) and that no one knows which, if any, religion is right - or if God even exists at all.

Answer 8

The problem is in allowing him to go to a Christian church, he will be taught all of those Christian things you don't believe in.

Perhaps expose him to many different belief systems, then let him make up his own mind?

Answer 9

Basically what I am hearing is that you don`t really believe as you should or could and so no child of mine is gonna either,listen for thousands of years Mothers have passed their faith onto their children and when the Mother has been wise and gentle it has been good for society as a whole,so why can`t you trust your wife with your Son?

Answer 10

Don't turn it into a conflict. Seeing his parents divided on the issue and making him choose between them will do a lot more harm than being raised Christian.