We are the best of friends since 1st grade, the only reason I think I am a little upset is becuase she is supose to be my maid of honor and I am her's I think it's just to be complicated doing both at the same time. She also has been engaged 4 times prior to this . I want both of ours to be the best days of our lifes and I dont think we can do that for each other if we are trying to do two of them about the same time.
(and if you have something rude to say please dont say anything at all i'm having a hard enough time already thank you)
2007-04-16 08:50:45 · 9 answers · asked by missyjesika 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
How inbred are you?
2007-04-16 09:58:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Seriously I dont see what the problem is. She is your best friend but other than a couple people I doubt you will be inviting many of the same people. A friend would help her figure out why she has been engaged 4 times. Why she keeps getting so into the idea of a great day filled with dancing, rice throwing and tulle and doesn't seem to be giving any consideration to the marriage that follows the one day. Help her go through these books--since you are both engaged, you both should be asking these questions.
Either way, being engaged has nothing to do with the wedding date. Why do you think that just b/c you are engaged at the same time that she is planning on having a wedding the same month as you? You dont even know what wedding you are both doing. If she was doing a small intimate casual wedding there is no reason she cant still be giving you the attention you seem to want from her. It is your day. Yes she is your best friend, but she will not be as excited as you. This isn't like prom when you both did everything together. This is your wedding day. She will support you and be there, hopefully help you prepare. But it's just an evening of entertainment. Not the start of her life together. Why do you think she should be equally as into your wedding as you are?
Where does your rule begin? If you are engaged for a year, could she not get engaged that entire year? If you are planning a wedding, how many months after is she allowed to start planning her own? It just seems a lil ridiculous to me. Her parents are not sitting around saying OH no your grandmother can't make that date--it's too close to Jesika's wedding. Like I said, you aren't inviting the same people.
I'm sorry if you feel that all the answers you are getting are harsh but no one really understands what upsets you so much. She's not stealing your thunder--she is sharing another big event with you. And you don't even think shes going to go through with it in the first place--so she'll just be engaged with you for a couple months. Whats the harm in that?
***Edit****
After what you emailed, if she is talking about having her honeymoon the week of your wedding and you already set the date, i guess its obvious then that she won't be your MOH. I guess thats her way of telling you. I would pull her aside and tell her that since your wedding was planned, her chosing to avoid your wedding is very hurtful to you. You always thought she would be your MOH, and it hurts that she obviously doesn't think the same thing of your friendship that you think of hers. see what she says about it. But secretly I think you value this friendship far more than she does and that while you consider her a best friend, she only considers you a disliked rival.
2007-04-16 17:12:16 · answer #2 · answered by phantom_of_valkyrie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Engaged 4 times?? How many times was she acutally married out of those? It sounds like she really likes the attention that comes along with being newly engaged. If you read my previous response to your first questions, you will see that I was concerned about the maid of honor dilemma too. If you think that she isn't going to go through with the acutal wedding and will end up breaking off the engagement, I wouldn't worry about it too much. If she seems dead-set on getting married to this guy, sit down and have a heart-to-heart with her. Explain how important it is for her to be your maid of honor (some tears would help you out at this point). Tell her that you also are looking forward to being her maid of honor, but you won't be able to pamper her as you would like to while planning your own wedding. I hope everything works out for you. You have a lot to be excited about and should be enjoying this time instead of worrying about all this stuff. If you need to talk more, my email is on my profile. Good luck!
2007-04-16 15:57:31 · answer #3 · answered by Mia1385 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand that you want this to be a time where all of the attention is on you--and it will be. You are planning your wedding. And if your friend is really going to marry guy #5, you get to share in an important day in her life. Naturally, when you do want to take her with you to do wedding shopping, she's going to be thinking of her day...that is going to be a little tough. Find in your heart and mind to accept that and just enjoy that you two will be going down this road together. Let her know that you will be there for her and surely, she'll be there for you. If you feel really anxious about the situation, take her to lunch and calmly express your concerns, jitters, and love to her. I truly believe that all is well!
2007-04-16 15:58:42 · answer #4 · answered by theplanningdiva 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would try not to stress about it too much. I know it's easier said than done. All I can say is that I stressed so much over my sister wanting to plan her wedding so close to mine and it's going to be over a year after mine. And if she's been engaged 4 times...I'd be a little less worried too. :)
2007-04-16 15:58:59 · answer #5 · answered by ljoc421 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Weddings are a huge pain in the rump...It sounds like you may not be able to make both of you totally happy, so why not settle on both of you being 75% happy? Maybe compromise a little for her in some way, and she can for you.
2007-04-16 15:54:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to plan it together. It could be fun. Schedule girls days out to meet vendors. If you both choose the same vendor they may give you a discount too!.
2007-04-16 16:44:08 · answer #7 · answered by Cash, Gage and Jax's Mom 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
maybe you wont be able to be in hers because of your honeymoon and getting ready I would just think of a compromise and if its not going to work then I would consider if its worth it having her in it
2007-04-16 15:55:03 · answer #8 · answered by Chloe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ha ha ha, honey I don't think she's making it to the altar. Even if she does, there's a month in between......
2007-04-16 15:55:26 · answer #9 · answered by Sandy Sandals 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋