My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years. At first we had sex all the time, but slowly we have had it less and less and now, not at all. I'm pretty sure he's not cheating on me; and he doesn't have any problems "getting right". I give him oral sex and he'll be rock solid, but he just doesn't want sex. I've asked him why and he used to just say he's tired or something, now he just kinda skates around the question entirely. I've asked him if he doesn't want to be with me and just doesn't want to hurt my feelings and he says that he loves me and he does still want to be with me...so why doesn't he want sex?!?! I seriously want to know what's going on. I haven't gained weight and we still go out and have fun and stuff. People have tried to tell me how to seduce him, but he's kind of old fashioned and thinks most things are just "weird". We're both in our 20s. I just don't understand.
2007-04-16 07:47:35 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
So...I really appreciate everyone who's trying to help...just some extra info: we did wait a while after we got together before we had sex. We didn't just start doing it out the gate.
2007-04-18 08:45:46 · update #1
Ugh...sounds like everyone thinks it's not going anywhere. It's really hurting alot; all those "little things" girls say are so important, he does. We cuddle and he does things for me all the time and buys me things and takes me out, and says nice things...all that crazy "little stuff"...I just don't know what's going on in the bedroom.
2007-04-18 08:49:24 · update #2
Of course, being older, I'm not in the groove as far as relationships such as yours are concerned. However, I know from life experience that things that are hard to get are more desirable.
Honey, and so many other young gals out there as yourself, you've all made yourself too available and easy to get. Think about it! These guys have it made...they don't have to work to get what is most precious in life. Unfortunately, this new life style has made God's precious gift to us, cheap and easy to come by.
I see from what your saying, that your young man is ready to move onto his next conquest. Sweetie, make the break before he does. It will be painful, but you will look back on this and will be glad you split with him.
Once you've done this, make sex precious. Don't give it out like candy...something sweet to attract the bees (guys). Without that paper...marriage....I wouldn't bed down with a guy until the wedding date has been announced, or better yet wait until the wedding night. I know not all marriages are made in Heaven, but once the commitment has been made, couples work harder at making a marriage work than they do to make a relationship work. With a relationship, it's just too durn easy to trade in for a new model.
Good luck. You are so young and deserve a wonderful life. Meanwhile, try some volunteer work and you're realize how important and more fortunate you are.
2007-04-16 08:21:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
"Comfort" can be the killer of sex. You two seem to have become "comfortable" with each other. The next step would seem to be moving on to a permanent relationship. The pressure of that need to move on to marriage (or not) can be very hard for someone, especially if they truly care for a person but are not sure they want a more permanent situation. It will quickly kill the desire to have sex, for fear that showing that type of need may lead to assumptions that everything is "fine" and will continue to move toward that (possibly dreaded) conclusion. That is one possibility.
Of course, there are others. Food, medication, hormones -- and disease -- can also have an affect. Even if oral sex works, there may be some added issues with full sex that he is unable to discuss that may be "hurting" him or causing some other problems.
You can be patient, not push, either physically or verbally, for a while -- but I would in the long run look to a future that does not include him. Unless you have a true commitment from a man, staying in such a situation is a waste of your time and emotions.
2007-04-16 16:04:50 · answer #2 · answered by Yahzmin ♥♥ 4ever 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't either..
It might just be that he's bored with the routine..
Or, sex is too much work for him physically.
I'd say try some new positions or do it somewhere unexpected or buy some sex shop stuff. Like flavoured lube. Or use chocolate sauce.. the list goes on..
2007-04-16 15:14:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
My bf goes through situations like that we have been together for 5 years. Sometimes, he just don't want to put effort into and other time just don't want it at all. If he has a lot on his mind, or tired or just don't feel like.
Sometimes, he don't like it when I am agressive, it actually turns him off, so there are times that I have to wait and wait and wait for him to want sex then he will annicate it.
2007-04-16 15:24:10 · answer #4 · answered by 2shay 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It seems like he has to be cheating, with a female or a male, and he just feels guilty about it. Men having a low sex drive to me is uncommon.
2007-04-16 15:15:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe you have been in a routine and he is getting tired of the same rountine...try to do something spontaneous, maybe that will 'spice it up'.
Good luck!
2007-04-16 15:44:05 · answer #6 · answered by ♥Jara-Lee♥ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋