I'm a Catholic ... My near fiance is Non-Denominational, well read, and in disagreements...she is winning :(

Question

I grew up, enjoying the Catholic church. I'm 25, and will be honest, in the last 4-5 years my faith hasn't been as strong as it use to be. But now, I have an incredible person, so strong in her beliefs... she is so good hearted, but she has trouble with my beliefs. She doesn't understand me when I say "We do this because its tradition" and she asks "Where in the Bible does it say to do that?" ... I feel I'm set up for failure on any discussion. If it's the Bible she wants to base her faith off of... how can I help myself become more educated to help her understand? and if there is any proof, written in the Bible (that can help me show her) why Catholics are right... I would appriciate it. I've never considered myself right and others wrong, I'm tolerant. She is not... she wants to define truth, right vs wrong... wants me saved by her understanding of what saved is.... It's her challenging me that makes my Catholic faith stronger. Please help! I'm ok with her, she isn't with me :(

Answer 1

Therefore, brothers, stand firm and hold fast to the traditions that you were taught, either by an oral statement or by a letter of ours. (1 Corinthians 11:2)

The Catholic Church does not use Holy Scripture as the only basis of doctrine. It could not. The early Catholic church existed before and during the time that the New Testament was written (by Catholics).

There were hundreds of Christian writings during the first and second centuries. Which New Testament writings would become official was not fully decided until about 400 AD.

Catholics believe that the Holy Spirit was guiding the early church (and is guiding the church today) to make the correct choices about things like:
+ The Holy Trinity (which is also only hinted at in the Bible)
+ Going to church on Sunday instead of Saturday (which is actually directly against one of the Ten Commandments)
+ The Communion of Saints
+ Which writings include in the New Testament?

Things that are even more modern like
+ Slavery is bad. Slavery is never declared evil in the Bible. This was one of the justifications for slavery in the Confederate States.
+ Democracy is good. The Bible states that either God should be the leader of the nation like Israel before the kings or kings should be the leader, "Give to Caesar that which is Caesar's." This was talked about a lot during the American Revolution.

This second source of doctrine is called Apostolic Tradition.

Do Christians who do not allow the continuing guiding force of the Holy Spirit to make their beliefs more and more perfect, still endorse slavery as Colossians 3:22 commands, "Slaves, obey your human masters in everything"?

I praise you because you remember me in everything and hold fast to the traditions, just as I handed them on to you. (1 Corinthians 11:2)

With love in Christ.

Answer 2

First thing to remember is that the Bible as we know it with Old and New Testaments was put together under the authority of the Catholic Church.

So, if your girlfriend trusts in the authority of the Bible then why wouldn't she trust in the authority of the Church who decided infallibly what books were inspired by the Holy Spirit and should go in it and which books were not inspired and should be left out.

If she is not willing to listen, then the relationship will be doomed from the start and will end in divorce. I know because I had this experience with a Protestant. We got married through the court instead of the Church, and it ended up in divorce. Because it was not a marriage in the Church it was invalid, and I was able to get an annulment. There were no kids from it, so it was a clean break.

Now, I'm married to a Catholic, and we are married through the Church. So this time, it's the real deal, and we are very happy together with two beautiful daughters.

If your "near fiance" is willing to listen, these links will be more than enough to show her that there is no other true Church founded by Christ other than the Catholic Church with the Vicar of Christ being the successor of Peter, the Pope in Rome.

Catholic Answers
http://www.catholic.com/

Catholic Doctrines in the Bible
http://www.scripturecatholic.com/
http://www.biblechristiansociety.com/

Saint Paul Center for Biblical Theology
http://www.salvationhistory.com/

The Official Website of the Pope
http://www.vatican.va/

Eternal Word Television Network -Teachings of the Catholic Church
http://www.ewtn.com/faith/teachings/index.htm

The Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights
http://www.catholicleague.org/

Defenders of the Catholic Faith
http://www.catholic-convert.com/

Free online Catholic Encyclopedia
http://www.newadvent.org/

Catholic Culture
http://www.catholicculture.org/
.

Answer 3

Look some people think that even the full stops and comma`s in the Bible are sacred,if it doesn`t say it then it is disregarded,but this is a closed opinion and goes against the Apostalic tradition of the Apostles.
How can we say that there is no place today for tradition as is held by the Catholic church when in point of fact there was only oral tradition at the beginning of the infant church,dosen`t it state that if all the things that Jeus did were written down then the whole world could not contain the books.
The first ministry of the infant church after Pentecost was as a teaching church and this was done soley by preaching by word of mouth,now surely no one can say that this preaching was not sacred and did not carry the authority of Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit!, so therefore oral tradition was and still is an integral part of divine revelation.
So in short there was already in place a teaching authority because of the Apostles themselves and this same teaching authority was passed on by them to their successors who also had the added benefit by now of the first written Gospels,and the church had the complete authority to use both in the spreading of the Good News.
This is the divine office unbroken to this day that we know as the Catholic church that Christ placed Peter at it`s head,and we should remember that it is this Petrine office that has carried on down through the last 2,000yrs and not just the power of men themselves,without this Petrine office there could be no church at all,Christ has only one body and this cannot be divided,it is one holy Catholic and Apostolic and will remain so until Christ returns.

Answer 4

Look further into your religion. If she isn't ok with your faith or the views that you have, perhaps she isn't the person for you? She can't expect you to change your beliefs just because you love her. She must love you unconditionally. Part of being in a relationship is accepting the differences and getting past the disagreements. I would not recommend changing your faith until you have no doubt that is what you believe in. If Catholicism feels like tradition to you, then so be it. I don't think one religion is better than the other, we're all going to the same place generally.

Answer 5

You might want to re-consider your pending marriage if she is so narrow minded.

But the problem with Sola Scripturia (Bible only) is that the Catholic Church was started by Jesus when he made Peter the first Pope, and that the Bible did not even exist until 300 AD. Up until that time it was the Catholic Church keeping the teachings of Jesus alive, sometimes through tradition that IS the bases for ALL Christianity.

The Protestant Reformation (even kings like King James) split off from the Catholic Church and even took books out of the Bible.

Catholics still believe in a personal relationship with God, it is just that we also believe that Jesus gave all Christians the tools to achieve salvation through the Sacraments.

We all believe in the same God and we all want to get to heaven, it is just that Catholics have more tools to do so.

You are quite young at 25. and if you have not studied your faith since you were 20, you really should start now. You will be amazed at the concepts that are much easier to understand as you get older. I STRONGLY recommend you get your hands on the Catechism of the Catholic Church and READ IT. You should also get a copy for your fiance, so she can better understand what Catholics REALLY believe, many Protestant groups spread a lot of things about us that are not true.

Peace and God Bless!

Answer 6

Moby, if you truly believe that the Bible is the Word of God, and you should, I would suggest that you two do some studying together. As you do, though, you are going to come across several things that will contradict what the Catholic Church teaches. In the process of learning what the Word of God says you will problbly have to start making some decisions. After reading the Bible on my own and asking God's guidance, I had to come to the conclusion that many Catholic doctrines were not in line with scripture and discovered that I could know God in a much more personal way that was taught as a child.

If you don't see it that way, I can assure you that these issues of difference will be ongoing throughout your relationship with your fiance. Scripture warns us not to be unequally yoked in relationships. I am sure she understands that scripture and must love you very much to continue your relationship.

She has grown up in a bit more light that you have. As you have noticed, she is ahead of the game in her knowledge of the Word. There will be times when you will have ot swallow some pride to accept the Truth as you read it. That is not a bad thing but, as a guy, usually hard to do. Pride is the sin that God says He hates the most. Remember also that the religion of the Pharasees was based on tradition. Because of that they couldn't see the Truth when it was standing right in front of them, literally.

God bless you. Ask God to open your eyes to the Truth and He will grant that request. Jesus said, 'If you being evil will give good thing to your children, how much more will your Heavenly Father give good things to His children (you and I).'

Answer 7

It looks like you are being given the option to choose her religious beliefs or to live life as a Catholic without her.

That being said, evangelicals will always point to the Bible as the only truth and guide. So you cannot win an argument against her by point out extra-biblical books.

Evangelicals, however rely just as heavily on traditions as Catholics do. You need to point this out to her using examples. She will deny it vehemently at first, because they have been taught since birth that they have the truth.

Have her read 1Timothy 2:15. Then ask her why women play such a significant role in her church. This is a touchy one, but it is clear that the 'tradition' of independent, free thinking women is something that evangelicals follow.

Ask her how the NT was compiled. You guys did that, and thus she is relying on a Catholic interpretation of divinity in reading and believing in the canonized New Testament. She is basing her entire Faith on books chosen by Catholics. That is important for her to concede.

Thirdly, you may want to point to the fact that the Catholic Church has been the only established Church to have direct ties to the disciples, this doesn't prove it is the only true church, but it does point out that the Catholic denomination was good enough for Peter, the beloved of Christ.

Ultimately I think you are fighting a loosing battle, and may be better off looking for someone who respects and honors your tradition. I can tell you, after being Married for 10 years, those things tend to get more important after the initial 'love' wears off.

Good luck and hang in there.

Answer 8

LOL! Welcome to the front lines!

You're fiance is right on one point: there is a definite right vs. wrong. She just doesn't understand the correct "right".

You need to be a student of the Faith. If you don't have a Catechism, get one. The United States Catholic Catechism for Adults is perfect for you. I have a copy myself; the format is very easy to understand, written much like a novel, and written with our current culture in mind.

Second: search the web for sites like these - www.catholic.com, www.catholic.org, www.newadvent.com, www.scripturecatholic.com. These sites have wonderful, quick formats for briefing yourself on the Church's teachings, why she believes them and where they came from.

In closing, the more you know, the better off you'll be. Never stop learning your Catholic Faith. Get closer to it than you are to your bank account or your wallet. Money comes and goes, but the Faith is always there.

God bless.

Answer 9

Well, first you don't say what she believes in, but leaving that aside, you say that her challanges to you make your Catholic faith stronger, that's a good thing, isn't it?
However, if being Catholic is a big part of who you are and SHE is NOT OK with that, you have a real problem other than losing your discussions with her. It sounds like she is intolerant of your faith and that, my man, can only lead to trouble, now and down the road. I'd say (and I'm not even Christian) find yourself a good Catholic girl and let this one go. Probably not what you wanted to hear, but sometimes you just have to cut and run.

Answer 10

Very interesting situation. Does she know that her beliefs were first invented in the 16th century and that nobody believed in "scripture alone is the authority", or "we cannot lose our salvation", or "we cannot pray to saints", or that "the Eucharist is only symbolic", until the 16th century.

She trusts that all truth is found in the bible and only the bible is the source for truth. Ask her where does the bible say that we should limit ourselves to the bible? She may hunt down a verse or two,, but look closely, they don't say that scripture alone is the authority. Then show her 2Thess 2 :15, "Therefore brethren stand firm and hold to the traditions which you were taught, whether by word of mouth or by letter from us." So the bible teaches us that we are to hold on to oral traditions as well as Paul's letters. Does she believe this?

Protestants see everything as black and white, either/or, while Catholics think more in terms of both/and. For instance, do you believe in scripture or tradition? Trick question, because they aren't mutually exclusive. Do you pray to Jesus or Mary... Why either - or, for a Catholic they are on the same team.

For more help in defending the Catholic faith against Protestant theology please consider the following:

http://socrates58.blogspot.com/
http://www.cin.org/users/james/
http://css.catholicexchange.com/TruthTracts.asp