Wedding Invitation Dilemma?

Question

Quick question. I was wondering which parents names should go first on the wedding invitation. I've always heard that it should be my future bride's parents first. I also don't know how we should put their names on the invitation being that they are divorced as well. Now, I've heard that we should put OUR names first being we are primarily paying for our wedding. My parents are paying about 25% of the wedding so I'm not sure who's name should go first. I know it's like drinking out of a firehose, but any advice would be appreciated.

P.S. I love my fiance, but planning a wedding sucks.

Answer 1

I would go traditional, its just easier on everyone

Mr William Smith and Mrs Jane Jones (if she is remarried or taken her maiden name back)
Request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter
Joan Ann
to Peter Michael Davis
son of Mr and Mrs David Davis (optional)

If you go traditional people wont argue with it because its the traditional wording and people expect it. When you start playing with the format you get into the area of people feeling slighted because they're named second etc.

The only other wording I would suggest is this
Together with their parents
Jane Ann Smith
and
Peter Micahael Davis
request the pleasure of your company...

This cuts out naming parents all together and might be easier for you. But no matter what the bride's name and the brides parents names always go first.

Answer 2

I found out when doing my own invitations that the "proper" way to do it is not have the groom's parents on the invite. The invite is for the church, and the bride's parent's are the ones giving their daughter away, so they are technically the hosts of that no matter who pays. If you are going somewhere to get your invitations (rather than online or doing them yourself~which is fine, too!) then you should have a consultation with somebody who will help you figure out exactly what you want. We put both parents on despite what we were told. We liked it better The brides parents should go first:

Mr (and Mrs) Father's Full Name
Ms Mother's Full name
announce the marriage of their daughter,
Your Full Name
to
His Full Name
Son of Mr and Mrs His Full Name
etc

OR
Mr Your Father
Ms Your Mother
and
Mr and Mrs His Parents
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their children
Your Name
and
His Name

PS...I know how much it sucks, I'm in your shoes. Trust me, every little bit you get done is like a weight off your shoulders!

Answer 3

I'm in a similar situation - my parents are divorced and remarried (bride to be) and his parents are still married. We've decided to leave all parents off the invite and simplify it by saying something to the effect of :
the families of brides name and grooms name invite you to celebrate their wedding on date and time and place....
this way you mention everyone without it getting ugly. :)
good luck and happy planning!

Answer 4

Since you and your fiance are paying for about 75% of the wedding you would put your names first and then your parents name. if her parents are also kicking in for a bit of the wedding you can add their names as well, but if they arent kicking in, etiquette says that you need not incude them on the invitation. If you want to include them so as not to make a big ordeal over who is and isnt mentions on the invite, just write together with their parents, Jane Doe and Joe Smith request the honour of your presence. thats all, then all parents (divorced or not, financially kicking in or not) are acknowledged. If you want to add names just do something like " The hounour of your presence is requested at the marriage of miss jane doe and Mr. Joe Smith along with their parents (put your brides parents names first and put them separatly, like Mr. joe doe and Ms. Janet doe. If they're remarried, put their spouses names after theirs, like, Mr. and Mrs. Joe doe and Mr. and Mrs. for the mom. then your parents names.
hope that helps!
good luck with your planning!

Answer 5

Since you are paying for most of the wedding your names should go first. My husband and I paid for most of our expenses so we had our names and then along with our parents (With their names). Just because they are divorced doesn't mean that it needs to be insinuated in the invitations, unless they are remarried and you plan on putting your step-parent's names on also, which my step-daughter plans on doing.

Answer 6

Check out the some wedding invitation websites for ideas on how to word your invitations. There are plenty of options out there depending on how formal or informal you would like it to sound. Search for wedding invitation wording, or even just wedding invitations. Good luck and congratulations!

Answer 7

Whoever is paying for the wedding has NOTHING to do with how the invitation is worded. When you do the listing of parents' names, it's simply to show who your parents are. For those with conflicts on parental names/issues, it's best to go with something like:
The families of
Jane Nancy Doe
and
Joe Fred Cool
request the honour of your presence....
OR
Jane Nancy Doe
and
Joe Fred Cool,
together with their families.....

Answer 8

We are planning our wedding, and trying to make it as stress free as possible--just like you, we find the planning stress is something we don't want any parts of!

As for the invites, in order to avoid who's paying or who is more important, we're saying Groom and Bride, along with their families, blah blah blah...

Good Luck!

Answer 9

To avoid all of the mess (since you guys are paying for most of the wedding) you could try this:

John Doe
and
Jane Smith

Together with their parents
Invite you.... etc

Answer 10

I've always been told that whoever is paying for the wedding, their names go first.