I live in one town and my fiancee lives in another. We are about 3 hours away from each other. He left it up to me but I can't decide where to get married at. The thing is my Grandma is in a nursing home and I would really like for her to be there and she can't travel. She has alzhimeres ( sorry about spelling) If we got married where he lives then it would be cheaper. The church will marry us for free and let us use all the wedding things they have and all his family will be able to be there. Some of them can't travel real far either. I feel like I am being selfish no matter where I choose. My family is real small and his family is pretty big. My family could travel except for my Grandma. Also my best friend is my maidren of honor and I am not sure if she can afford to travel to where he lives.. What is a good way to resolve this conflict and make it work?????
2007-04-16 04:14:25 · 7 answers · asked by Sarah G 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
My grandmother is also in a wheelchair. Her diesase is that so bad she does not know what is going on. She is just wheelchair bound from mini strokes
2007-04-16 04:54:54 · update #1
Congratulations!!
Okay, first, prioritize your issues. I say that b/c you have a lot going on. Your grandma can't travel. I am assuming that you want her be apart of the ceremonies. Ask the nursing home if reasonable accomodations can be made so that you can do a little something there with her. Like, maybe a mini reception minus obviously the dress and all the other trimmings but something small. Maybe a brunch with her and your new husband. Go with the cheaper accomodation b/c those bills can add up. If your maid of honor can't afford to travel ( let her say she can't afford to travel), secretlyset aside some money to go half with her on the expenses. This should be a little easier since you are saving on everything else.
Ciao
2007-04-16 04:26:08 · answer #1 · answered by Lexie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Traditionally marriages occur in the bride's hometown. However, these days tradition doesn't necessarily mean anything. From what little information is here, I would suggest marrying in the groom's town. I appreciate the fact that you want your grandmother to be there. However, alzheimer's is a horrible disease. If it is advanced your grandmother will most likely just be confused and scared all day. She won't know who anyone is or what is going on. If she wanders off something horrible could happen to her. I think if you really thought about the facts of the situation you would see that she should not attend this event. As to your maid of honor, don't assume anything about her financial situation. Even if she does need help, how much is one or two nights in a hotel? You could use some of the money you save by having the wedding in the groom's town to help offset her costs a bit. I think if you were not so emotional about the choice (completely understandable, wedding planning is high pressure) you would see the groom's town is the best way to go.
2007-04-16 11:28:34 · answer #2 · answered by rosekm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Three hours isn't really too much to ask from his family. My fiance lives 1000 miles away, so we have to have two complete weddings, one in each location.
You should do what you want to do. Where do you picture your wedding? After all, it is your and your fiance's wedding. You two need to be happy with it.
Maybe you could try to have the wedding somewhere in the middle between your towns? Perhaps an hour outside of your town, so that it is only 2 hours away from the other town?
2007-04-16 11:27:14 · answer #3 · answered by sheilas_a_brat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Traditional its were the brides from. I have the same problem My fiancee lives four hours from me so we choose my town.
I would sit down right all the pro and cons down then compare to decide which is really better. Hope this helps
2007-04-16 11:30:36 · answer #4 · answered by bink11012001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your Grandmother wouldn't even know what's going on, then honestly, I wouldn't try to have her there. It's a burden on everyone else. Play her the video later. Have the wedding in his town where it's cheaper!
2007-04-16 12:22:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It isn't selfish to want to have it in your town, but it sounds like it would be the most convenient and cost-efficient to have it in his.
2007-04-16 11:23:45 · answer #6 · answered by duritzgirl4 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really would like your Grandmother to be there, then make it convenient for her. Sounds like he would understand.
2007-04-16 11:21:53 · answer #7 · answered by Kerry 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋