I am a military wife and wanted to know why there are people out there that don't support us!?

Question

While I myself support my husband more than anybody, I wanted to know why there are people out there that don't think we are just as important as the man by us that wears the uniform. I still make GREAT sacrifices for our country. I am a mother of three that becomes mommy and daddy while he's deploys. Last time was Iraq. There is way more than meets the eye when it comes to a military wife. While not thanked enough I take GREAT pride in the job I do for the military and my country.

Answer 1

Cheryl,
I am a former Marine, and from one Marine's perspective I would like to THANK YOU for the sacrifice you make on the behalf of our country. I am absolutely certain that your husband is well supported (and loved) by you and your children. Though I wish I could speak for every American, I am unable to do so but not by lack of desire - I too support your husband in my prayers and thoughts.

I currently work for a Federal agency and see first hand some of the details of what "some people" would like to do to "us" here in the United States - and I find it rather appalling that some "Americans" would think it is "OK" to not consider the importance of the work of both you and your husband.

Thank you for your (continued) service and God Bless!

Answer 2

Most people don't think about what the family of the deployed soldier is going through and it's a shame. My hat is off to you and all military spouses and their children. It's not easy having your spouse away from home for any length of time, let alone a year or more at a time, the toll it takes on the family at home is unthinkable. Most people just don't understand or have no clue what is put on the shoulders of the left behind family and don't realize the sacrifices that have had to be made, the changes that have to be made just to survive your spouses deployment. My heart goes out to everyone of you left at home to do double duty, to keep up your home, pay all the bills, and keep the children's lives as "normal" as possible, it's not an easy task and I thank you very much. My oldest son is in Iraq for his second tour and I have so much respect for his wife for managing all that has been handed to her while he is gone, they have a 18 month old son, and it's not easy for her to play mom and dad everyday. It's really a shame that the families left behind are not thanked more, their role is much more important than most people think. May God Bless you all and keep you strong.

Answer 3

First, thanks for your service and thank your husband for me. Yes, thanks for YOUR service. Why do I say that? Because the military spouse is just as much a part of the military as the servicemember. Period. I am former Army (nearly 14 years) and I have nothing but respect for the military spouse.

What a lot of people don't understand is just what you said. When the one parent deploys, the other must become mommy and daddy. This isn't the same as a single mother or father raising a child. We are talking about children that KNOW their parents and wonder "where is daddy?" (or mommy), "when is daddy coming home?", "why isn't daddy here for christmas?", and the BIG one "is daddy gonna die?". Military spouses have more stress than "normal" spouses that have no clue what it takes.

I suggest being around your local FSG/FRG and other "spouses club" type activities. This way you can be around other people that know what it takes to be YOU. And hey, you might even make some great friends that will take the burden off of you (in the form of a babysitter or play-dates) so you can have some quiet time every now and then.

Thank you, again! And thanks to all of the military spouses out there that support their man or woman and don't complain one damn bit about it :-)

Answer 4

Spouses of soldiers and sailors are huge part too!!! It is a very hard job also. I wasn't a military wife, I was in the navy myself. And its hard to have a relationship at all in the military. There are many sacrifices on both sides. The military has a very high rate of divorce. And I cannot understand why anyone would talk bad about the military and who supports it. We are defeding our country and our right to freedom. And americans need to understand that!

Answer 5

Single mothers, widows, women married to men who travel for business most of the week are also mommy and daddy to their kids and I highly respect these folks, military spouses included. I don't know that they deserve my thanks, though, IMO. You do have my respect.

That was your choice either as a family or as a woman marrying a military man. There are certain sacrifices that all families have to make. My husband and I sacrifice valuable time with each other so I can work days and he can work nights so our kids won't have to go to day care. We felt that was important. That was our choice. I'm not asking for thanks, though it's hard. Some single moms have to work 2 jobs to support their kids and they don't ask for thanks. They are too busy.

I generally respect military folks, as they would be the ones protecting us if the nation came under threat. I feel that those joining after Iraq and after it was well known there was no WMD, no link to Al-Qaeda, etc knew what they were getting into and I don't respect their decision as much if it was to help perpetuate that war. I didn't see enough evidence for an attack in the first place from the beginning. The no WMD, no link to Al-Qaeda stuff was circulating since before Iraq, but only recently was acknowledged as true. That aside, I respect that the soldiers already in the military have to do what they are told, even if it comes out later the US was wrong. I respect that because they will do what they are told if we come under real threats.

My beef is with our government who puts soldiers in harms way on a whim seemingly, not with the soldiers and their families themselves. So, I support the troops, but not the government always. I also have a problem with soldiers, paramedics, firefighters, etc getting paid so little for essential skilled services, while sports stars get paid millions for something they happen to be good at.

*I would also make the distiction (as another poster did) between honorable ones and ones that get carried away with being in charge and cause unnecessary loss of human life like Haditha, Abu Ghraib, others etc.

Answer 6

Hi there!

I think it's because many of us have been raised to take our freedom for granted. Instead of respecting the huge numbers of lives lost during our own Revolutionary and Civil Wars and the World Wars, we somehow fell into the trap of believing people are basically good and kind and that there is always a peaceful resolution to any situation.

Those who study history and acknowledge that there is evil and insanity in this world, especially when you're talking about dictatorships and all their highly corrupt "absolute power"... well... they understand that war isn't a good thing, but sometimes it is necessary, and in order to win with the least loss of life, our military needs our support 100%.

Answer 7

I have no clue.
I think you are wonderful and brave as can be. It's not easy when Daddy goes away. Especially when they are old enough to know Daddy might be in danger ( and I assume at least 1 of them is with 3!) My oldest had nightmares all the time.
At least the guys get to shoot back. We wives and mothers don't get to do anything about it and doing nothing is not something I am good at.
but now my oldest is at basic at Ft Benning and my youngest has been having a bad time about him being gone.
I think I need a Wife medal from the Navy and a Mother medal from the Army. Because I am a rock and I do rock,but sometimes I'd just like to throw a rock! (and I don't)

Answer 8

Some people out there just don't have any respect for anyone. I have a sticker on my car that says I support my army husband. Last week I had my car packed up to take my kids to go see my husband for the 1st time in 9months. That night someone broke into my car and took all of our bags, and clothes. Someone told me well they know you have money because he is in the military. We have 4 kids, what makes them think we have money. The world is full of shiit bags and there is nothing we can do about it. We just have to stick together and support eachother and stand by our men and our country!!

Answer 9

I fully support the military. If you listen real close, most people do. It is the Commander In Chief that the people do not support or agree with. That is why the outcry of 'bring our troops home' is being heard across the US.
Thank you for your service. As a woman who spent her working years in a 'mans field', I totally understand what you are sayin. A woman has to be twice as good to get half the recognition a man does. This is true in any situation. You keep the home front stable, take care of the kids, are mother, teacher, taxi driver, counselor etc. You are just as important as the soldier in Iraq in my opinion.
Thank you.

Answer 10

I support you!!!

I have a good buddy and she's a military wife. She's the top of the tree to call fellow wives, organize stuff, and keep the homefront running.

Sadly, it's a culture thing where unless a "Corportation"/ "Governmtne" is paying ya (1099'ed), most ppl can't visually see your contribution. Don't let this hold you back ... keep K.A. on being the best you can be. G.B.