Teenager problem! Please help me and my family!?

Question

My family don't get along. It's like we all hate each other. It's my mom, me, my two brothers ans a sister. Iam the oldest. We all have certain problems: My mom wants to quit smoking so she is really stressed out. I am really selfish (i just can't help it). One of my brothers is too bussy. He thinks he is better than the rest of us and that he is the only one who helps my mom. My other brother is kind of abusive and depressed. he always starts fights and he's really spoiled (my mom doesn't yell at him for doing things wrong and when she does, he laughs at her); My sister (who's 7) makes messes and doesn't clean them up. I'm really want to help because I don't like being upset all of the time and having everyone hate everyone else. Even when we start to get along, someone will say something to upset someone else. Please help me and family!

someone please tell me what should I do?
please give my some suggestion to overcome this problem..

Answer 1

I think that if you really want help you need to sit down with your family and let them know how you feel. You must be open with them and tell them what you like and dislike about them. That's the only way I see things working out you must stand up and say something.

Answer 2

Dear every family is not going to be a perfect family, you mention that you are really selfish, that is the first step in the right direction. And you being the oldest is always a burden so to speak, it seems as if their are more demands on the eldest in all families. Your mom trying to quit smoking is a really good thing she is trying to over come, and me being a smoker it is very hard to quit, i admire her for wanting to do that, and trying. Maybe you should get together with your mom and call a family meeting. I don't think your family hates each other, it is basically just being different people with different attitudes. I feel if you all have this meeting and all agree to change certain things about yourselves than it will be fine. However, i do feel if you all can afford to do so, than family counseling is the best way to handle family problems like you are going threw. I hope i helped a little anyway, and good luck and God bless you.

Answer 3

Look just stop being selfish. You can help it just try. If you set a good example then your brothers and sister will follow you.
Respect your mother's wishes, because she is trying to stop smoking with four kids and three of them are effectively men.
Advice for dealing with your pretentious brother, let him be and reduce your interactions with him. Once he feels that you don't care about him he will come down from his high horse.
For your aggressive brother, next time he starts a fight finish it for him by whatever means necessary. But don't hurt him, restrain him and explain to him the next time he starts a fight that you will make sure that he will spend a night in jail.
Your sister, ban her from doing things she likes such as TV and Internet whatever. Enforce this ban.
Your mum needs all the help she can get so you have to step up and be the man of the house, as you haven't mentioned you father. Make you siblings do some chores. You also will have to do some. wash the dishes, clean the house whatever but everyone of the children must pull their weight. Try to make everyone eat dinner together at the table rather than in front of the tv.
Once you can do that go for counselling. Counselling is for families who want to be together, at the moment you all are living in your own little worlds.
Good luck and trust me this will work because this is what I did with my family after my father ran away.

Answer 4

You family sounds relatively normal to me. All families go through similar stresses, but at least no one is beating anyone, stealing, strung out on drugs, or pregnant. In other words, things could always be worse. However, it is obvious that your home life is affecting you greatly. Have you talked to your Mom about your feelings? Have you considered suggesting a family meeting? Do you all ever do anything as a group for fun -- board games or movie? All I can suggest is if you are associated with a church of some kind, why not approach your pastor and seek out some support for you and your family. Maybe if you get the ball rolling, your family may follow suite, but then again, they may not. If so, seek the support for yourself so you can keep yourself mentally together and seek happiness for yourself.

Answer 5

My family was as dysfunctional as can be, BUT we had a great sense of humor and could pick on each other in such a funny way that we'd generally end up having laughing fests. NOTHING was to sacred that it couldn't be laughed at.

It gave me a good sense of humor, although it is a bit dark. And I can really take a joke.

We used to have a joke about Christmas. We REALLY keep the true meaning of Christmas,
"Well JEsus Christ Marie", "Well God Russel".

Or my brother's classic reunion line, "I just drove 6 hours to a viper's nest'.

Or when the parents started in on eachother at Thanksgiving, "Well, here comes the holiday fight, right on schedule'.

It made the family events tolerable and we remember the laughs, not the visciousness behind it.

Answer 6

First off, don't say "I just can't help it." If everyone said that about their problems, nothing would change. Think before you speak, and try to put yourself in someone else's shoes; imagine how what you're doing or saying probably sounds to them, and be more careful.

As for fixing your whole family, a good start would be to do something nice for each of them. Don't say anything about it (unless they ask), just do it. Every day, if you have to. Putting other people's feelings first will help to change the mood of the house.

Answer 7

sorry to hear about this-being a teenage is rough enough, you do not need the added stress of an unhappy fmly. Try talking to a counselor at school, or if you guys all sit down and eat dinner as a fmly than I would bring it up that the fmly needs help and you suggest going to a fmly counselor. If no one agrees than cont. talking to your counselor, it is better to talk to someone than to hold all of this inside of you. Since your the oldest you can tell your younger siblings that your tired of this sh** and that each and everyone of them needs to snap out of it and help around the house. Good Luck to you and I do wish you the best.

Answer 8

best advice i can give you is honestly to seek counselling and work through all these issues. then sit ur family down and let them know you don't want to live like this anymore. You want the fighting and name calling etc to stop* Unless everyone is on the same page as you are...i doubt anything will change. So the only thing you can do..is to help change yourself by going to counselling* goodluck*

Answer 9

well i have seen alot of my friends familys do this. what i sugest is that you should have a sit-down with your family and tell them what was what. if that dosent work then yoshould have someone be a mentoir or someone that every one will lisen to and have some sort fo disiplen for EVERYONE in the house. quitting smoking is hard and theres gonnin to be some rough patches but you and your family will get throuogh it. just have hope.

Answer 10

well, you should help your mum around the house more...with tea, the dishes cleaning up...she can't do it all, there's a lot of kids she has to look after in your family.

-tell her that you heard that getting acupunture is a way of helping to give up smoking-she just has to go a couple of times. -it doesn't cost that much there are a lot of cheap ones out there.

-talk to your mother, just u and her...and tell her all these things...even write a letter and sit with her until she reads it. once you have spoken and have worked a couple of things out arrange a family meeting.

-tell your mum to write out a list of jobs that she wants you kids to do. (1wk someone does the dishes, etc)

just let your mum know that you are there for her whenever she needs you...and just let her know that you are just so sick of your family fighting.
-arrange a family day...every couple of weekends.

good luck.