Am I wrong to expect a Thanks when I cook dinner?

Question

When I was young, we always told Mom "Thank You Mom, it was good" after EVERY meal even if it was hamburger helper. My hubby and kids only say it when it's SUPER great. Am I selfish to want some kind of acknowledgement that I put forth an effort to fill their bellies?

Answer 1

I don't think you're wrong to expect it. I feel the same way when I work 2 hours on mowing the grass and weed eating our 2/3 of an acre yard and edging the sidewalk and driveway and nobody in the house says diddly squat about how nice it looks. I just ask, "hey, did you notice how nice the yard looks?" Its a bit forced but it reminds them that it is hard work and I hope they appreciate it.

Answer 2

I was raised the same way, and I expect my kids to do the same thing to me when they're old enough (they're only 3 and 22 months now, so I can't expect much yet!). Well, already my 3 year old is saying, "Mmmm Mommy, this is deeeewicious!"

I don't care if it is hamburger helper or leftovers from the night before, or something even more simple--the point is, YOU went to the trouble and effort to make it, and you should be thanked for it!

I think the only situation where thanks isn't warranted would be if you picked up a carryout or severely burned dinner, lol. However, who feeds their family burned food, you know? :)

Answer 3

No, you aren't wrong but, you shouldn't get all bent out of shape if they forget. My husband is the better cook & I always tell him thank you for cooking. Once in awhile ask how the meal is & you should get what you are looking for. Sometimes this is the easiest way to teach our loved ones how to appreciate others. Good luck.

Answer 4

Not at all! to be frank, it shows bad manners on the part of the eaters, and high levels of ingratitude! it's a big effort to cook a meal, i know when i cook, it's a big deal to me coz its so stressful, can't imagine having a bunch of ungrateful people eating, some of them refusing to eat after all the effort! you should tell them to have proper manners, or to cook the food themselves next time!

Answer 5

I don't believe you are selfish for wanting your contribution acknowledged. Personally, I cook for five big ol' bruisers every night. That simply wouldn't happen if they didn't tell me, after each meal, "Thanks! Another great meal!" I'm sure they are aware of this. None of us are related, none of them is a boyfriend - I am not obligated to cook for them so they show their appreciation accordingly.

Perhaps your family isn't used to hearing compliments for simple things? (And cooking dinner surely seems simple to them.) Start a new trend. Start complimenting them, sincerely, for little things they do. As women, I feel we lead our households best if we lead by example.

~Morg~

Answer 6

You are being taken for granted. Your husband and kids take it for granted that you are going to cook dinner and that it is going to be good. They also take it for granted that you know you did a good job and therefore, they don't have to tell you. Take a night or two off a week and tell them if they want to eat, they have to cook. A sure way of getting someone to appreciate what you do is to have them do it themselves and see how they like not being appreciated for their hard work and efforts. Start with dinner then move on to the laundry! It will work, trust me ;o)!

Answer 7

You are not wrong at all. It's just common courtesy to thank the cook (or the one who washes, irons/folds and puts away their clothes etc). Good manners are never out of place.
You might try having a private talk with your hubby about the importance of raising your children with good manners, and ask if he will try to lead by example. You'll be surprised how the kids will chime in with thanks if Dad says it first.
Good Luck.

Answer 8

I don't expect a "thanks" necessarily, but I always get some acknowledgment like "Ahhh, that was a great dinner, hon" which is like a thank you. I always say thank you when my hubby cooks. Like "Thanks for cooking tonight, hon" when I just hadn't been feeling like cooking or he has some great idea for dinner. So yes, I wouldn't get hung up on "thank you", but I would expect some form of graciousness for your work.

Answer 9

My brother and I are both in our twenties and to this day we still thank our mother when she cooks or helps us out with anything. It's just the right thing to do.

Answer 10

Obviously someone had to teach you at some point when you were young to say that...have you done the same with your kids?