My 13 yr old stepdaughter has been very rude and disrespectful. She has very serious blow ups and temper tantrums and says hurtful things. She says she wants to go live with her mother. Although we know that things will be no different for her there, should we allow her to go to see for herself. She refuses to do chores and is very hard to live with but we still do not want her to go.
2007-04-16 00:27:00 · 13 answers · asked by peach 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If she thinks the grass is greener on the other side of the fence then you should probably let her do it.
Having a stepchild is not an easy thing. The child may resent you and feel that your the reason her parents haven't gotten back together (whether that is true or not). My advice is that you should seek counseling as a family. Also try not to be her mother, but her friend. By trying to be her mother, she may resent you even more.
2007-04-16 00:43:22 · answer #1 · answered by milwaukiedave 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is probably the best thing you can do. If she wants to go live with her mother and thinks things will be different then by all means let her go and find out for herself.
When she gets ready to come back you can let her know that she is going to have to follow your rules in order to come back. Sometimes you just have to give them a little slack and then let them know you are still in control.
Your husband might want to talk to his ex in advance and make sure that the girl will be subject to some discipline while she is with her.
2007-04-16 07:40:40 · answer #2 · answered by don n 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, youre right, she wont be any different there, she is acting like a 13 year old. That is what they do.
I guess the best you can do is tell her you want her to stay because even though she is being difficult, you love her, and youre going to stick it out, because its just a phase. If she wants someone to talk to about how she feels, let her know youre there for her.
Also, as compromise, tell her that if its ok with her mom, she can spend a few extra weekends over there, but i doubt that it will change anything.
2007-04-16 07:34:16 · answer #3 · answered by mettophobic 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Warn her mother before sending her there. There is no reason why she should not go, unless the mother is unfit. Girls that age become very difficult, and they try to play the parents against each other. Tell her that if she goes, she will have to stay until she finishes school, and let her make the decision. Stick to your guns however, or she will run back and forth every time she gets angry.
2007-04-16 07:39:59 · answer #4 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should be sending her to a counselor who will sort out her anger problems
most kids don't like to do chores. They have to be taught right from wrong.
escaping to her mothers house will only shift the pressure off of you to her..tell her if she does this then she will have to stay with her mother for a long time.
if she bounces back and forth between parents..playing one off the other..she will learn she can get her way..
both real parents should have a plan of action and get professional help as you guys are too close to the problem...you need outside help...a person with no axes to grind..good luck..teenagers are always very manipulative..ask any parent
2007-04-16 07:36:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think instead of sending this troubled teen to another house to cause a fuss, you should invest in some counseling.. She may be having issue's dealing with normal teenage things. I was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder when I was 15.. If she hasn't been with you since she was little she may also resent the fact that you aren't her mother and feels she doesn't need to listen to you or her father who is in love with you.. Just a thought.
2007-04-16 07:32:53 · answer #6 · answered by Mandy R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A little hint...your 13 year old stepdaughter has entered puberty, what she is going through is "normal" for her age. Going to live with her mother might give her a different persepective...You say you KNOW things will be no different for her at her mother's...how could you possibly know that since YOU don't live with her mother. I suggest discussing it with her mother and arranging for her to live with her mother...
2007-04-16 07:36:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think that maybe you should have a meeting with the girls mom and all of you have a good talk, she maybe still adjusting to her dad being married, you haven't said how you feel about her if you don't like her she may sense it, maybe you and she should have a talk and find out what is troubling her maybe you all can work it out between you
2007-04-16 07:33:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her go with the stipulation that she live with her mother for one year. Maybe then she'll realize just how good she had it living with you.
2007-04-16 07:44:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh yeah, get rid of her.. at least for a bit..
Of course you don't want to lose her, but at the end of the day, if you'd like a bit of time to yourselves, i don't see the problem..
2007-04-16 07:33:38 · answer #10 · answered by arctic_sheets 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋