He cancelled our wedding six months before it saying anytime he thought of the wedding he felt sick but he still loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. What do I do, I still love him but I want to get married
2007-04-16 00:20:55 · 38 answers · asked by maggie55 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
hes pulling your chain ! he will never marry you and i dont think he loves you eiether, he needs to grow up and if he wants to stay with you then let him show you because he isnt and starting off on the wrong foot is only going to make it worse in the long run
2007-04-16 00:26:08 · answer #1 · answered by dawn p 4 · 6⤊ 4⤋
You need to ask him what it is about it that makes him feel sick is it the commitment side of things or is it nerves? If it is nerves then maybe opting for a small wedding abroad or in Gretna could be the answer where it can be a many or few people you want. I got married at Gretna as neither me or my husband could stand a big wedding we are both quite shy. If it is a commitment thing then you need to think where this relationship is going and if it is worth waiting for him to change his mind or move on. Good luck hope you have a happy ending.
2007-04-17 03:56:10 · answer #2 · answered by babyblueeye2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chill out a little. He wants to marry you but isn't quite ready for marriage. Depending on your ages, put a time line in your mind, do not tell him, because that is more pressure its an ultimatum. So if he does not come around in say a year, another 6 months, whatever you feel is reasonable, and try to be that, then tell him, this is really what you want and you may have to accept the fact that you two separate because it may just not be in the stars. You have a right to pursue what it is that you want, but if you want it with this guy then give him some time to adjust to it. Again, remember you do not have to settle and if he does not come around, again depending on your ages, then maybe you need to move on. If you are 18 to mid 20's don't worry, if you are late 20's to 30's then this is my advice.
2007-04-16 02:53:44 · answer #3 · answered by Elvira 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It has taken my partner nine years to ask me to marry him..I am getting married in May...the full works! I can understand you want to get married and from reading between the lines I feel he Does love you. The legal stuff can be very scary!! the vow to stay with one person forever in front of so many is scary. I wonder if he would consider counselling or if it is the fear of so many people a quiet wedding with just immediate family....failing that if you really cannot live with him it may be time to move on.... perhaps even that might give him the jolt to realise marriage is very important to you. Good Luck.
2007-04-16 01:20:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the thought of getting married makes him so sick, and he has even canceled the wedding, it doesn't seem like he is ready to marry. If you really want to get married, and he doesn't want to, there isn't anything you can do with him.
2007-04-19 22:17:42 · answer #5 · answered by Tweety 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to him. Tell him your not angry (cause he'll just get annoyed if you do and you won't be any closer to knowing what he really thinks). Tell him you just want to know what he is thinking about the whole wedding thing, because it means a lot to you.
Getting married is a huge commitment to make. It is understandable if he gets scared thinking about it, he is going to promice to be with you for the rest of his life. This is a scary thing, and you might just have to wait untill he feels he is ready. I don't think he necessarily is calling it off because he doesn't want to marry you ( although you must come to terms with the fact that this is a possibility), I think he is just scared.
Good Luck
2007-04-16 05:59:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is a nervous person and the worrying is all getting too much.
Why not ask him if he would prefer a no fuss wedding just the two of u and 2 witnesses. Then u could have a reception with loads of people and make up 4 it.
Its totally normal.
2007-04-16 02:30:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My x partner & I knew that neither of us wanted to get married, he'd been there & done it 3 times before & I felt I was too young but we knew we wanted to be together forever so we were going to throw & big sit down dinner (reception without the wedding) & instead of (or as well as) the speeches we were going to stand up & declare our intent of commitment. Somewone even told us we could sign a "contract" to legalise it. We thought we'd do it properly a few yrs later. Best of luck what ever happens
2007-04-16 00:53:39 · answer #8 · answered by Bubbly Blonde 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he's just not ready, although id be pretty insulted if my boyfriend told me that he felt sick at the though of marrying me. You need to reassess your values, do you really, really want to get married? if so, then maybe you should find someone who really wants it too, everyone deserves to be as happy as they are able to be, and if that involves being maried, that's what you need to do. If you decide to take this route, i promise you you'll fall in love again if you are able to let go. it's obviously really worrying you if you've posted this question. otherwise if this is the only man for you, get to the bottom of his fear, try to isolate the problem. is it the cost? is it 'stage fright'? is it the long term committment? he needs to be completely honest with you so that you can solve the problem together. be supportive and get to the bottom of it. once you know the truth about the root of the problem you'll be able to make an informed decision about where to go next. good luck :)
2007-04-16 01:57:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Firstly can I say that organising it without him knowing is an extremely bad suggestion. What if he doesn't want to go through with it? He will feel very pressurised and forced.
Secondly, what is the big rush? Marriage is a big commitment, he has said that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you and in time he may feel ready to marry you.
There is no point rushing into marriage then suffering a costly and emotionally devestating divorce when you realise that you are not suited to each other. He probably just wants to be sure.
Ask him is he will ever eventually want to get married and if he says no then maybe you do need to seriously reconsider the relationship as you want to get married eventually, but if he says yes but is not ready yet then give it time.
2007-04-16 00:38:35 · answer #10 · answered by abluebobcat 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Maybe its nerves - all us girlies think about is dresses, makeup, hair, flowers and how were so proud to be walking down to our men! Blokes have to worry about doing a speech and having to show thier true feelings which alot of them find hard - maybe save up and jet away and get married and have a party when you get back - or just keep the wedding small!! Good luck!
2007-04-16 02:42:34 · answer #11 · answered by Ebab831 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋