We're into the 4th month of our relationship. But my bf can never stop commenting on the way i dress, eating habits and my tummy.
He feels that the way i dress looks too young for my age. (Jeans and t-shirt. No. i dont put on any comestics neither do i wear heels.) I'm a university undergrad at the age of 22.
He exclaims: "Wah! Why do you eat so much?" whenever he learns that i bought a bar of chocolate from 7-11.
He would say that my tummy looks like i'm into the 4th month of pregnancy. (i'm 46Kg at the height of 156cm.)
But, he still claims that he love me.
Is this possible? I thought love would include accepting all flaws?
2007-04-16 00:18:35 · 14 answers · asked by Ginny Wanderer 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
As I read this artice I see so many "red" flags waving at you it is unbelievable. Noone in their right mind talks about his girlfriend or significant other. Life is too short to go around and have to deal with negativity all the time. This says something about his character that is only the tip of the "iceberg". Think about this, look at the successful relationships people have in life, both people support each other, no matter what and they build each other up no matter what. Look in a crystal ball and ask yourself this question, is this the type of person I would want to spend the rest of my life with? I think I know the answer. The only thing he probably loves about you are the intimate times you spend together, and nothing else. I can see this, I hope you can too.
2007-04-16 00:29:54 · answer #1 · answered by Rooster 1972 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anyone "Can" be guilty of an occasional unkind comment to a person they love, but...
Real love doesn't try to change the other. Excessive comments about your weight, eating habits, style of dress and makeup choices makes him seem to me to be a controlling personality. For some, the constant picking at the partner is enough--others graduate to coercion for sex, isolating the partner from friends and family, and eventually physical abuse.
MY question is why you don't throw these comments back in his face? If your self esteem is low, you are more likely to put up with this kind of behavior...
2007-04-16 07:29:35 · answer #2 · answered by chocolahoma 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Real love does include accepting any 'flaws' you might have. This guys seems to say things to you that are emotionaly hurtful to you and maybe you should say some of the same type things back to him to see what reaction he gives. Tell him his fingernails are nasty, he dresses like a retard, and why does he not have a six-pack of abs if he expects you to. Sounds like you needa dump him soon if he's trying to change you. Real love doesnt need to be modified in any way.
2007-04-16 07:25:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen Honey, if you want the Candy Bar eat it, if you want to dress the way you dress do it. Do not allow anyone to control you. He is trying to control you by putting you down. Making you feel that NOBODY else would want you if he didn't. You know what you do, the next time he says something stupid out of his mouth like that say to him "That's ok because so and so likes it" just make up a guy name and say well he likes it. He'll stop his bullcrap.
2007-04-16 07:35:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds to me like he lacks a little respect for you. You are the only one who decides how you dress, what and how much you eat. if you've always been this way it is time for you to sit n analyze your relationship... especially at only 4 months into it.
also, how can you love someone you dont "like" ... if he is trying to change you he's only trying to control you.. mold you up to his standards.. i'm sure you're better than that. everyone woman deserves better than that. if you are the one trying to change him... give up. It's not going to happen. You have to sit and analyze what it was that attracted you to him and why you fell in love. what you fell for is what you have... why would you want to change that? I personally think that when someone gets to that point.. you are looking for something else. and if you cant find it in your partner then you should stop wasting your time and move on.
2007-04-16 07:53:08 · answer #5 · answered by morozco5 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just because you want to eat a chocalate bar doesnt mean that is a flaw, he does not love the real you , he is trying to make you into what he want you to be , and that will never last with you if you have any self respect at all, you are only 22 get rid of him
2007-04-16 07:41:33 · answer #6 · answered by dawn p 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maya Angelo said "If someone shows you who they are, believe them." in other words he is not showing he loves you by always saying the things he says. I am sure that there are other guys who would be so lucky to have you as a girlfriend and really love you unlike who you currently are dating. If you are not loved for who you are then you are not loved at all... take it from me I've been through it already.
2007-04-16 07:39:41 · answer #7 · answered by Mando 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can love someone, but it's going to be hard to change your bf. If he really loves you, he wouldn't say things like that to you and accept you for who you are. Maybe you should ask him, why he say those things to you and tell him how you feel when he say those kind of things to you.
2007-04-16 07:31:00 · answer #8 · answered by JJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your b/f is not acceptive of the way you look and wants to take control over you. Dump him, you'll thank yourself some day that you did.
2007-04-16 07:22:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's trying too hard to change you. Dump him before he turns into a total control freak. It's bad enough now.
2007-04-16 07:25:59 · answer #10 · answered by tefutefu 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋