Do you resent having to tip?

Question

I don't consider myself an ungenerous person, but I cannot understand why I am expected to tip for certain services (waiters, hairdressers, taxi drivers, etc.). If someone has performed an extra kindness ABOVE AND BEYOND the remit of his/her job, then I am prepared to show my appreciation. However, for an often bog-standard service for which I have already paid and have had NO CHOICE but to use, should I have to pay what is, in effect, a surcharge? Is it really MY responsibility to subsidise the low wages paid within certain professions (an excuse often proffered)? Am I being unreasonable?

To ME X: When I say I have 'no choice' I mean that I have no choice but to use the service of the one I am expected to tip. For example, if I go to a restaurant, will they let me serve myself? If I order a taxi, will the car arrive without a driver so that I should have to drive myself? Do I go to a hairdresser in order to wash my own hair there on arrival?

To BLIZ: Should the service NOT be good? Have we to be satisfied today with the mediocre unless we bribe someone to perform better?

Why just certain professions? If you go into Tesco and the check-out person hands you a carrier bag, do you have to tip? Does your butcher, baker or greengrocer get a tip for picking out some choice item for you?

To EL DUDERINA: You ask "why not" but I am asking "why at all?" I am not in the least stingy and can't bear others who are. I still want to know why it has come to be EXPECTED to tip certain people who are only doing their job JUST AS THE REST OF US ARE WHO DON'T RECEIVE TIPS.

To respond to a few more answerers: On the occasions when I DO give a tip, then I don't resent it. What I resent is being EXPECTED to tip.
Yes, I also don't like a restaurant's practice of adding a service charge on presenting the bill. If I have been led to expect from a price list that a meal will cost x amount, I do not expect to have to pay x+15%. If they expect you to pay extra for service (!) it would be more honest to display THAT price in the first place.
Another thing, in my own working life I have always performed to the BEST of my abilities (I hate the particularly British attitude of wanting to do the minimum amount of work for the maximum reward - and yes, I'm British) and would consider it almost demeaning to be offered a tip if that were someone's way of insinuating that I would work better if they gave me money to do so.

Agreed, Cyclone Ranger. We HAVE a choice but it's as if we DON'T have a choice.
This question is less about the desire to be generous (or the desire to APPEAR generous) but more about the IMPLIED OBLIGATION to be generous or appear generous for no apparent reason to a particular sector of society.
The restaurant trade has been highlighted by many answerers. We should not have to tip out of pity for those who work in this trade yet this is what many answerers admit doing because they have been MADE to feel somehow obliged (yet don't realise it). The low wages issue is something which should be addressed by the employer not by the consumer.

To FADER's GIRL: Please don't make assumptions about me, i.e. that I've never had to graft and that I haven't any decency. You couldn't BEGIN to know about me or my life. As for you, you're a 22 year old kid with a bad attitude, foul mouth and a huge chip on your shoulder. I apolgise if I'm making assumptions .....

Oh Sharky ... and I didn't know you cared! May God bless you and all who sail in you.
Now, answer the question like all the other good folks! (I'm reading every single answer.)

To FADER'S GIRL: You're still making (wildly incorrect in this case) assumptions and generalisations. You have a reverse snobbery, looking down your nose at those you perceive to have more money than you. What has decency to do with money or lack of it? Can only the poor be grafters? What nonsense. Get rid of that chip on your shoulder before it cripples you.

Answer 1

yes i do.
I serve the public in a shop but dont get any tips for doing my job well or otherwise, why should hairdressers,waiters etc get tipped for doing their jobs?

Answer 2

Absolutely, I resent being expected. If someone makes an extra special effort, then I like to tip and that's what it should be. Its no different to a job, if a person perrforms above and beyond, they may get a bonus, but the regular salary is in return for everyday work which should be carried out in a courteous, professional, to the best of one's abilities attitude.

I am a Brit that has been living in the US for a year and I am appauled by the amount of tipping that is necessary. You are expected to tip for a takeaway coffee in starbucks, tip delivery men when you have paid an extortionate amount for delivery in the 1st place. It is expected at 20% here and I went to the hairdressers the other day and it was $200 as I wanted alot done but then I was expected to tip 20%, ie $40. In the UK, there would be a cap, at perhaps 5quid, not a % level. I paid an expensive price for my hairdo (it was my birthday so decided to treat myself) why should I pay even more because the greedy salon owner pays his staff pittance and keeps a massive profit for himself. I agree, it should not be expected, I am more than happy to tip hairdressers, waiters etc but a nominal amount for, ie a quid or 2, more if its been better.

Answer 3

You Should only tip if service provided is extra good. I perform my job to many wealthy persons, above and beyond what my remit is and very rarely do I even get a thankyou!! However Some of the wealthy ones do give a gift at Christmas. Back to your question the answer is depends on cicumstances a very good waiter/ess or hairdresser yes. Late Taxi Driver No!! There again all the tv/ film/ sportspersons and pop artists and producers directors etc have an awards ceremony every few months and their jobs aren't exactly exhausting and they get freebies etc. Why can't us Joe public have awards?

Answer 4

DI was, until recently, a London Taxi driver. Most people did tip me but I did not expect it. I helped with luggage and most of the time I wasn't bothered whether I was tipped or not. However, there were a few occasions when I did not get a tip and I was quite angry about it. One of those times was when I was asked to carry a very heavy suit case up four floors. There was no lift. Even so, I did not show my anger to the customer. I know that there are a lot of cab drivers in London who do get angry about it and do show it. I think this is just bad manners. The best tip I ever had was from John Cleese. He was a very friendly man and gave me twenty pounds on top of the forty pound fare.

Answer 5

In answer to your question,no i do not think you are being unreasonable.I am with you on this one my friend.I regularly tip for good,friendly and better than average service.However,if there is "nothing special" or even worse a bad attitude and even rudeness to me then there is no way i would even think about tipping.When you offer a tip as a result of a service,you are doing it to show your appreciation.To tip someone who has given you a bad service is just hypocritical.Also,i would like to add that a restaurant that charges a "service charge" on the bill is also a no tipping area as far as i am concerned.When you go to a restaurant that is not self service then you expect to be served at the table.If this is charged as an extra,then i am sorry but there will be no tip from me.

Answer 6

I am a Brit that has been living in the US for a year and I am appauled by the amount of tipping that is necessary. You are expected to tip for a takeaway coffee in starbucks, tip delivery men when you have paid an extortionate amount for delivery in the 1st place. It is expected at 20% here and I went to the hairdressers the other day and it was $200 as I wanted alot done but then I was expected to tip 20%, ie $40. In the UK, there would be a cap, at perhaps 5quid, not a % level. I paid an expensive price for my hairdo (it was my birthday so decided to treat myself) why should I pay even more because the greedy salon owner pays his staff pittance and keeps a massive profit for himself. I agree, it should not be expected, I am more than happy to tip hairdressers, waiters etc but a nominal amount for, ie a quid or 2, more if its been better.

Answer 7

I totally agree with all that you have said.

Only if the service is above and beyond should we be expected to tip........

However, it seems common practice for this to be expected of us...........

I have on many occasions made a point of not leaving a tip when I have been less than satisfied with the standard of service.

I don't tip at the hairdressers, I don't tip taxi drivers - as they are doing what they are paid to do, no more, no less.

Not sure whatever happened to the phrase "the customer is always right" that seems to have gone out a long time ago - too many rude shop assistants, waiters and bar staff about these days............ customers seem to be nuisance!!

Answer 8

I agree with you. When I was working I worked hard for my money and what I did earn went to pay my own bills - nobody tipped me! Now I am retired I only have my pension and resent having to give a tip (usually 10%) to people who should be paid a decent wage in the first place. If tipping was banned (made Law) then employers would have to pay the minimum wage. If I sound hard then I am not as I do give to charity when I can afford it.

Answer 9

I resent tipping as well, but they make you feel crap when you dont tip them. Everything is so expensive these days and to have ot tip as well on top of that is ridiculous. No, i hate doing it big time. And your not being unreasonable at all. And some people do get a good wage as it is.

Answer 10

You shouldn't resent not tipping for very bad service. I work at restaurant and one of my fellow servers once made a rude racial remark to a table of South Asians. I was glad he didn't get a tip.

It's okay not to tip for very bad service. If you are receiving bad service repeatedly, ask to speak to a manager. Waiters and owners will remember you and will give you better service the next time. I personally love the challenge of trying to get a good tip from chronically bad tippers. 15% tip is for satisfactory. 20% for great service. If I don't like the service at a certain restaurant, I get take-out.

I'm only speaking for waiters (in the US), but we don't receive health insurance like hairdressers and taxi drivers here. We might make a fat loot at the end of the day but after paying rent, taxes, tuition, utilities... it isn't much. If we (or a loved one) become ill or get in an accident, then we are pretty much screwed. So, you're tip is our health insurance :)

Restaurant owners pay waiters in the U.S. an average of $2.85 (1.4£) per hour. Not very much. If employers were to pay us more, then they would also have to pay a higher employer's tax. Which would raise the price of every entree.

If you are a good tipper, we WILL remember you and give you good service the next time you come.

Side note: i tend to give my best service to costumers who smile.

Answer 11

I will only tip if the service i have received is exemplary. I had a row with a friend a couple of weeks ago when i refused to pay for the tip to a waitress who was pretty rubbish at her job. he said they get minimum wage and you're expected to tip. i said that it's not my fault that the restaurant pays such crappy wages. I paid through the nose for my meal and a couple of bottles of wine...shouldn't the profit made on this be used to pay the staff a decent wage??
I Never tip taxi drivers though..from my experience they are all money grabbing nasty pieces of work who think the world owes them a living...I wouldn't mind getting paid £10.00 for every time someone spent 5 minutes in my car! daylight robbery!