Theories other than Mary getting it on with god?

Question

Can you think of other theories about the birth of jesus? I mean other than immaculate conception?
Lets list some possibilities here. Give me what your version of the story would be, if different than the bible version.

In my story....
Mary had sex (maybe even raped?) with some random guy in town/village and got pregnant. But because she would be isolated/hurt/harrassed/killed by her family/people, and becasue Joseph loved her regardless, they decided to make a story that would make it possible for her (and Joseph) to live. So They did. And Jesus was a natural born leader, a ghandi like figure in any case. So that certainly helped things. I like my story. ha, it would make a pretty good lifetime movie.

A possibility? what would your version of the story be, if it would be different than the original story?

Oh and I am not trying to put down anyones religion, I am just curious about alternative theories by people.

anyway, peace and have a good day

No, I'm not ashamed of my idea

Oh and to the second comment: Thanks for the laugh

Answer 1

Your theory is as good as any that is written down in that book.

Answer 2

The Talmud enshrines within its pages Jewish Oral Law. It is divided into two parts, the Mishna and the Gemara. The first discusses such subjects as festivals and sacred things. The Gemera is basically a commentary on these subjects. The date and the time it was written is not known. Some authorities suggest the date of about 150-160 around the same time that the Christian Gospels began to emerge.

The Talmud writers mention Jesus name 20 times and quite specifically documented that he was born an illegitimate son of a Roman soldier called Panthera, Nick named the panther. Panthera's existence was confirmed by the discovery of mysterious tombstone at Bingerbruck in Germany. The engraving etched in the headstone read:

Tiberius Julius Abdes Panthera, an archer, native Sidon, Phonecia who in nine A.D. was transferred to service in Rhineland (Germany).

Answer 3

I have believed this idea for many years. In a country where her father would have been expected to cut her head off, or her brother, why would it seem unreasonable that they loved her too much to do this and planned another way. Such as the virgin birth. I am surprised it hasn't happened more often than it did. But who knows maybe some poor people were caught and we never heard there stories. The stories in the bible are just that, STORIES. They have been cut out changed and translated so many times it is ridicules to believe word for word. I think there are some very intelligent statements in there but most are way too unbelievable for me. I am Agnostic not atheist. I very much believe in God and an afterlife. I do not believe in hell and damnation. If Jesus would forgive you of anything he would be a very kind God wouldn't he. So why would he have a place called hell to put us in for little sins. Or even big ones. Wouldn't he just enlighten our minds so we would know it is better to be good than evil.

Answer 4

A book called The Women's Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets offers an alternate theory. That back in those days, "virgin" meant unmarried, not intact. Also, the Jewish people married people from other cultures and religions and brought them in to the covenant, and Mary may not necessarily have been Jewish before she married Joseph. In some religions at the time, a "virgin" could be consecrated and dedicated to a temple. The virgin would be ritually impregnated by a priest of a temple, before she got married, and the result of the union would be considered a child belonging to God, and dedicated to the temple. In this context, Mary could still be a virgin, impregnated by God. Not my theory, just passing on an article I read... It was apparently not uncommon in some cultures for the first child to be considered a child of the God, and not of the union with a husband, and dedicated in this way, and the woman could still get married, and have other children after that....

Answer 5

The blessed Mary have been given pregnant via the over shadow of the Holy Spirit of God with the seed of God the father. Later, later on, Joseph gained a message from the Holy Spirit, that the youngster in Mary's womb substitute into to be spoke of as Jesus.

Answer 6

At the time, any claim of deity for anyone required that the person be born of a virgin.

Athena was virgin born. The Parthenon in Athens commemorates her, the virgin born of Zeus by parthenogenesis, which means virgin birth.

Centuries earlier, Attis of Phrygia was vorn of a virgin on December 25th, and died on Good Friday, was buried in a tomb sealed with a stone, and when the tomb was found empty on Easter morning the devotees shouted "He is risen!"

For thousands of years, Osiris was the savior, both God and man, worshiped in Egypt. He was born of a virgin, died and was resurrected, and gives eternal life to his worshipers, who remember his death in the meal of bread and wine.

The Christian version is just the current way of telling the story of Osiris, now using Jesus as its poster boy. The story has been pretty much the same for thousands of years. Christianity is not original.

And virgin birth is in the job description for almost all gods.

Answer 7

What are you going to say when Judgment day is here? That you were trying to be funny and maybe write a movie. You might be laughing all the way to hell.
God doesn't like people who make fun and laugh at him or his son, Jesus, or Jesus mother, Mary.
If I were you, I'd ask God for forgiveness before it's to late.

Answer 8

The Immaculate Conception means that Mary, whose conception was brought about the normal way, was conceived without original sin or its stain—that’s what "immaculate" means: without stain. The essence of original sin consists in the deprivation of sanctifying grace, and its stain is a corrupt nature. Mary was preserved from these defects by God’s grace; from the first instant of her existence she was in the state of sanctifying grace and was free from the corrupt nature original sin brings.

It has NOTHING to do with the birth of Jesus.


Cheers :-)

Answer 9

The virgin birth myth is not particular to Judeo-Christianity. The virgin birth myth has been around long before monotheism came along. The myth was obviously co-opted by the Jews as a way of breeding out and/or adapting pagan beliefs to make their religion more palatable. I f anyone did rape Mary, it would have been Zeus.

Answer 10

I think the most plausible solution is also the best one: The whole thing was made up and inspired by the existing Pagan religions and especially later by the Roman religions. But that’s probably not the sort of answer you’re looking for, so: Mary was abducted by aliens and they put Jesus in her womb. Later Jesus asked “Who is my father?”, and Mary replied “Your father came from the heavens, he is the Commander-In-Chief.” So little Jesus asks “You mean my father is sort of like god?” And Mary says “Yes, my son.”… so later when Jesus grows up a bit he starts preaching.. “I am the son of God! My Father in heaven is the greatest!” And because Jesus was part alien, he did a few tricks. So anyway the disciples attempted to work all this out and so it goes. Well anyway, I tried to be original.

Answer 11

I often wonder what will happen to those who say and do things that are against God when they are "called home"...how will you answer the Lord when he asks about your apparent lack of faith. If you don't believe, well that is your choice and you will have to bear the consequences but why make a mockery of Mary and question what is in the Bible...Why doubt...believe...to believe we must have faith. God bless you...