3 yrs ago my f-in-law went on this wild streak and left his wife for a crackwhore & moved all over the country. I dealt with that through my pregnancy & through my sons 1st birthday. my m-in-law took him back after leaving her for a yr. she lost her home,business & her extra job bc of this. my son was nearly 2 when we finally said fine you can come back around us. I still dont like them. my f-in-law is a jerk & treats me like crap when noone is around. on top of this they abandonded their family & moved 6 hours away & only come in a few times a yr. & didnt show up to my daughters birth or her 1st bday. in 2 weeks my son will be 3 & they refuse to come in bc its a long drive. but 2 wks after that they will be driving in for my nephews grad.i feel like my kids are getting the shaft because somehow they always appear at the other grandkids events. they wont watch my kids when they are in town but always manage to watch the others.i dont think they are very good g-parents to my kids.
2007-04-15 19:45:03 · 7 answers · asked by jody g 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My inlaws only have boys.
they all live the same distance away.
my husband doesnt see it the way i do. he thinks things are just fine. I am just so very tempted to tell them that i dont think they are being good grandparents. they dont play with the kids. oh yeah and they are snobby fake people. they think they are better than everybody. my parents are awesome grand paernts. they want the kids everyweekend and call during the week to talk to the kids. my in laws have never called to talk to the kids. they keep wanting us to come visit them but they bought a camper trailer(a nice one) to live in because they can take it anywhere they wanna go. and i am not staying in a camper with them! my husband wants to but i told him no. if we go and stay in a hotel they will be upset and distant the whole time.
2007-04-15 20:18:30 · update #1
As they only come a few times a year then I wouldn't worry about it too much. I had grandparents like that, who were more interested in my cousin, than my sister and I.
The way I see it, my life isn't any worse for not having them, and if they are as bad you make them seem, it is probably best that they do not see your kids anyway.
2007-04-15 19:53:51 · answer #1 · answered by Sarcasma 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good riddens to them....i wouldn't want them to watch my kids or anything like that....if they dont want to be a part of your family's life well then bye bye oh well....i know its hurtful but it truly is their loss not yours....this is a hurtfull situation to deal with but you have no control over what they decide to come in or out of town for so i say dont invite them anymore and when they ask why you have stopped inviting them to celebrations simply tell them that they have shown you over the years that it is not of great importance to them normally so you just figured that you would save the stamp...dont let this come between you and your husband though....good luck...and hey on a up note you know they will never have to come and live with you when they are too old to care for themselves lol
2007-04-16 02:53:27 · answer #2 · answered by Erika 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are very lucky. You could have them around your kids with all of their dysfunctional BS..
Just be glad that you and your kids to not have to put up with them on a daily basis. You are all much better off. Let the other children put up with them, and be happy it is not you.
2007-04-16 02:53:05 · answer #3 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your husband should speak up! First of all he shouldn't let anyone treat you badly, especially his family. He needs to put a stop to it, and stand up for his wife and children
2007-04-16 03:06:28 · answer #4 · answered by whaleloverinlou 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe they dont babysit your child because they dont feel too comfortable with you, this doesn't necessarily say they dont like you or hate you, but it's just easier to be closer to your own daughter's kids than it is to be with your daughter-in-laws. my mom says " I feel alot more comfortable being silly or to show discipline, to my daughter's kids than it is to my son's, because in-laws didn't grow up around you so they dont really understand why you would react to something a certain way"
2007-04-16 02:57:19 · answer #5 · answered by antz1230 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you need to tell them to NEVER EVER EVER call you again. stay away from you, dont call, dont write, dont even think of you. This is not a joke. I am speaking from experience. I am NOt some yahoo punk looking to get points for short answers. look at my profile & my previous answers. I answer what I know about, and that is it!
Here is my situation. I only tell you this to hope that you do not end up in the same boat!
All my life, i have been on the back burner in my mothers life. she has never once called me or gave a rats rear about me. She was 2 faced & vindictive as the day was looooong.
I never wanted to accept it. I would always go around her... and every time Ishowed up, she smiled & welcomed me... but it was obvious that I was her least favorite. She gave 4 acres of land to my brother... bought vehicle after vehicle for my sister... after she kept wrecking them. I got NOTHING.
After getting married & having kids... my wife was at my mothers house one day & noticed that there were absolutely NO pictures of us or our kids anywhere in her house. We had sent her picture after picture... at LEAST 20 professionally made pictures.
well, to make a lifelong story short, I never did see or accept the fact that she didnt love me.... until she died.
I now live in West Virginia with my family, and she lived in Georgia.. where I grew up. I got a call 2 days after my mother was buried from my aunt on my dads side asking me why I wasnt at my mothers funeral...
I HAD NO CLUE. So, i called my brother & camed UNGLUED! He finally told me that mom never cared for me & told him on her deathbed in the hospital to NOT contact me until the funeral was over. she did NOT want me there. and I have done absolutely nothing to make her hate me. I work hard, raise a family and every single thing i have is mine... never given a thing. I earned every single bit of what I got.
huge pill to swallow.
now then, with your situation. I am sure that your husband is feeling the same way, and just afraid that you dont agree with him, or wants to think about the best thing for the kids. If he isnt, then he is confused & will follow you & admire you for being smart enough to put your foot down & realizing what they are doing to your family.
I say that if you feel that strong about it, DO IT. go all the way. Full steam ahead! Dont hold one single syllable be held back. Trust me when I say that You will feel awesome after you do, and if there is any problems at all with the husband, you can do damage control after the dust settles.
Stand up for yourself.... and stand up for your children. We are programming our kids all the time to be successful & self-sufficient. Our children learn values from us every day that they will take with them into the real (and cruel) world. What are they learning from your actions right now... are they learning that its ok to let people walk over them & treat them bad? Teach them that it is NOT ok to be walked on & pooped on.
dont do it on the phone. they will hang up after the 3rd sentence & it will just pissyou off. If you have to... drive to them, or wait till they get into town.
now then, you have work to do. get busy.
I hope this helped you in some way or another.
God bless you, God bless your children, and Kudos to you for loving your children as much as you do. Chidren ARE beautiul, arent they?
Take care,
Damon
2007-04-16 03:19:57 · answer #6 · answered by Unit 30 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah tell him, after you have him beaten.
2007-04-16 03:10:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋