is it selfish or sinful to decide you don't want to have children?

Question

im married and both my husband and myself do not want children,we may change our minds at some point of time in the future but for now we dont want any.I am 27 yrs old and I decided that to have kids at this point in my life is a major mistake,and I just do not want any.Is it wrong for a person to never want kids.I have many neices and nephews from my sisters and grew up babysitting and taking care of small children now i do not feel like i missed on anything except the feeling of pregnancy and childbirth which soulds very horrifying and painful,anyway i saw how your entire identity is stolen as soon as kids hit the scene and everything is all about them.I cant handle that emotionally,right now we decided not to have any kids cuz i have health problems,but now as i start thinking about it i dont think i ever want any,and especially with my current husband who i dont ever see being able to handle children let alone their care.SO is it wrong to NOT WANT THEM FROM A SPIRITUAL PERSPECTIVE?

Answer 1

No - some people just can't handle kids, so they're right to not have kids. My sister and her husband decided not to have kids. She's never been comfortable around babies. They're Christian, by the way. I don't think it's a big deal - it's your choice, and a smart one. Sounds like you put a lot of thought into it.

Answer 2

What I see is honesty and courage to know what you need right now.
As you said, you can always choose to do so later, or adopt if that is not possible if that's what you want.
There are far too many unwanted children in this World.
Some will say that the Biblical purpose of men and women being together is to have children. Then why are there more miscarriages than births, and why are there parents who abuse their children.
If you go against what your soul is telling you right now, then you will regret and resent...it's much better to be sure and have the love ready when you are.

Answer 3

From a spiritual prespective, you are doing the right thing by deciding not to have children. Children should only be brought into the world by people who are emotionally ready to deal with all the complexities of raising a child. You are right--it isn't easy and your whole life changes for good. So if you don't really want to raise a child, the worst thing to do is force yourself to do so. Not everyone's life has room for child-raising. Many people do not want to have children and it makes perfect sense to me. I am always heartened to hear from people like you who are practical and sensible about what they want. Too many people are having children who don't really want them. I know some of these people personally and they are very unhappy--and their children are even more unhappy. I doubt this is a situation that any Higher Being would approve of.

I think God knows your heart. He knows that you must find your own way to contribute to the world--and that does *not* have to be by having a child. There are a million other ways for you to contribute to the world and your heart will lead you to know the ways that are best for you.

I've always heard it said that if you listen to your own heart, you are essentially listening to God. Trust what is in your heart. Deep down you know what is best for you. I think the luckiest children are the ones whose parents were enthusiastic about having kids. If it doesn't feel right for you, simply don't have kids. It's okay. It really is. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise or make you feel guilty. It's nothing to feel guilty over. It's *your* life and you must choose its direction as you see fit.

I applaud you for your decision and your desire to stick to it.

Answer 4

NO!" seeking" IT IS NOT A SIN,

I believe it is very wise to know your limits and plan for them.

Whether it is because you have health problems (like my wife) or

Because you can not afford to feed them, clothe them, keep them healthy (like here in the Philippines where I minister and live now)

Don't have the Patients to raise kids and know it (like me) by the way I would be a great, uncle or grandfather (but please not a father)

And besides if latter you decide you want to have a child or help raise a child there are always 1,000's you can help or adopt.

GOD BLESS YOU IN YOUR WISDOM...Rev. Roy Ross

"0330em/j" is correct ABORTION is a sin and I do not believe using any pills-or-shots that effect the body function is right either.

So that kinda limits your protection short of a "cut & tie", rubber, that sort of thing.

Answer 5

I don't want kids either - ever. I like to travel and eat out, stay out late, work many hours and most importantly I just don't like kids. I have even seen a doctor about getting a hysterectomy, but they all refuse to do it on someone my age (and I refuse to go to India).

I get a lot of women who say it is my duty as a woman to have children and that I should think of all those women who can't have children, but desperately want to. Sorry guilt trips don't work.

Stick to your guns. Regardless of whether it is a sin, selfish, spiritually corrupt whatever, it is your choice, don't let others decide for you.

Answer 6

Is it wrong not to want children of your own? NO! What is wrong is to have children you don't want just because society, your church, the people around you, or your family want you too.

I am a married mother of 4, and I have some friends who are D.I.N.K.'s (Double Income - No Kids). The wife came to me one day and told me that is what they had chosen for themselves, that she had never wanted to have kids, and said that I would probably want to talk them out of it, as all their other friends with kids had done.

I said that as I was not going to feed, clothe or raise them, I felt that I had no right to tell them that they should have kids. That it was purely their decision.

Better for the world to have a few less "potential kids", than a few more unwanted ones.

Answer 7

I know a lady who doesnt like kids but has a son and she loves him dearly. She had him in her thirties so you never know.Be open to what God puts on your heart because He has the power to do what you thought is possible. Pray about it and ask God for forgiveness and to find if there is any wicked way in you so you wont sin against Him. It might not be a sin. But remember to love all no matter who they are because this is what Jesus wanted us to do...to love one another (enemies or not). Dont undergo abortion either. That is selfish murder. ...God bless.

Answer 8

I agree which comprise your placed up! I additionally do no longer think of IVF is egocentric or sinful in any respect. in case you could no longer have little ones certainly, and your can via making use of IVF. I say choose for it! suitable of success with ur destiny being pregnant!

Answer 9

I don't believe it is, at least I hope not since I don't want or like kids.

I've had people tell me "you would change your mind if they were your own", but what if I didn't, then I would end up being one of those shake the baby parents and that wouldn't be good.

Answer 10

If you don't want the kids, don't bring children into a world where they will not be wanted. Love your nieces and nephews. Don't torture yourself about keeping some kids from a very unhappy life.