My near fiance is a non-denominational christian. I'm a catholic. we're currently having trouble over religion

Question

I was born a Lutheran, became Catholic with my family in 6th grade. I've loved my faith, my church... even though my faith has had it's ups and downs.

After 10 months of skirting the issue... my girlfriend and I have decided to start figuring out where we stand. I'm exhausted..and feel unequipped for our conversations.

Are there any non-biased sites that help couples work through these situations?

She also keeps saying "where in the Bible does it say that?" I'm totally impressed that she knows the Bible so well, and admitted I think the Bible is true...but suddenly I'm faced with maybe admitting that what I like or know is tradition vs actually in the Bible.

Any help would be greatly appriciated! thanks!

Answer 1

Your near-fiances's chosen faith tradition is not fully compatible with yours.

I hope you like arguing with her.

She believes in something that is inconsistent with the truth ... namely, that the bible is the sole rule of the Christian faith ... when the bible fails to make that claim, itself.

She believes that a book can take the place of the Catholic church, when it can't. (If it could, Jesus would have never gone through the trouble of founding his Church.)

She believes in things which are logically inconsistent, and which, as a result, cannot be either logically or factually proven.

As a "non-denominational" her faith traditional also lacks any semblance of structure or doctrinal discipline, so her "creed" can stand for anything ... or nothing.

Ask her to prove, from scripture alone, and by a single definitive scriptural passage (or two) ANY of these:

1) Where exactly can we find God's written instruction, commanding, anyone to write either the old testament or the new?

2) Where exactly does scripture explicitly claim to be the sole, or even the primary rule of the Christian faith?

3) If the bible is the sole rule of faith, then how did the Church manage to exist, grow, overcome all persecutions, and convert the Roman emperor himself, over a 200+ year period, without it?

4) Where does the bible provide the authority for ANYONE to break off from the ONE church Jesus founded, FOR ANY REASON, and start a new church of their own (non-denominational, or otherwise)?

Additionally, as a "bible believing Christian" why does your fiance plainly and obviously reject the specific instructions we find in 1st Timothy 2:11?

Finally, as a Catholic, you know that Jesus gave Simon the new name of Peter, which means "rock" and then immediately said of him, "On this Rock I will build my church."

Scripture, secular history, and Apostolic Tradition duly record that Peter at once became chief among all the apostles, and the first in a long line of leaders of the Church on earth, whose office would eventually come to be known by the title of "Pope".

Mid 20th century excavations beneath the Vatican have proven beyond doubt that the HEADQUARTERS of the Catholic Church was indeed LITERALLY built ON St. Peter, the Rock, whose bones were discovered, buried in an ancient cemetary there, directly below St. Peter's basilica.

This striking, and very profound MULTIPLE fulfillment of Christ's prophetic words, and absolute CONFIRMATION of the truth of the literal biblical text, is beyond any serious challenge.

You, or anyone else can go to the Vatican, tour the ancient burial site, and see, touch, smell, and live the truth for yourself, today.

No other Christian group has spiritual "roots" which can be proven to go all the way back to Christ and his apostles, which predate the bible, and which still exist and thrive, throughout the world today.

The Catholic Apologetics Department of my organization ... AskMeAboutGod.Org ... is at your disposal.

Answer 2

I was raised Lutheran also. I became an Atheist. I then became a "Born Again" Christian when I was 19. I lived a carnal life and I did not follow God until I became a "Spirit Filled" Christian at 38. I agree with your girlfriend. It is more important to follow God instead of a religion. Why not go with her and check out her Church. You might be pleasantly surprized to find out that her religion is closer to the truth than your own. It is very important in the Bible to be Spiritually compatable. I am glad that you are honest and that you are seeking the truth. Jesus said that whosoever seeketh, findeth. Keep seeking and you will find.

Answer 3

The term 'non-denominational' usually just refers to non-denominational Protestant. If you ever go to a 'non-denominational' service, it's just like any other Protestant service: a pastor, lots of singing, preaching, maybe communion, maybe not. Little difference in practice and theology from other Protestants; they're just Protestants who don't want a 'label' like Lutheran or Baptist or Presbyterian or Methodist. As such, the difference between Catholic Christians (and yes, they're Christians, despite what the foaming-at-the-mouth fundamentalists bleat) and non-denominational Christians is the same as the difference between Catholics and Protestants. Catholics are the oldest and largest denomination of Christianity; they compiled and codified the Bible in the 4th century. Protestants took out books and passages they didn't like about 1500 years later, then turned around and accused Catholics of "adding" books... but the mangled version of the Bible they thump still comes from the Bible that was compiled and codified by the Catholic church. There are many doctrinal and theological differences, but more important than the differences are the similarities: both are Christian. Both believe in one God, the God of the Hebrews; both believe in Jesus Christ and that he is the Son of God and is the Savior. Both believe the same teachings of Jesus and in the sacrifice he made, and in his resurrection. Both believe he will one day return. The similarities are the essentials that define Christianity as a whole; the differences are minor, and are usually pointed out by fundamentalist Protestants in a weak attempt to undermine other denominations in order to justify themselves, since they feel threatened by other older, larger denominations. The bigotry you see displayed here by the likes of Chris, Micah, and other fundamentalists is proof of this, and their actions/attitude aren't very Christlike. No Catholic here will waste their time trying to convince you that Protestants aren't Christian. Catholics KNOW Protestants are Christian... it's the fundamentalist types who have trouble being inclusive.

Answer 4

Some churches hold to the idea that only what is in the Bible is an acceptable path to knowledge of God. Others are more tolerant of a variety of ways to know God. John Wesley, the founder of the Methodist Church, formed an idea that whatever we would ponder as truth about God had to meet four criteria; 1) it had to be supported by Scripture, 2) it had to conform to human reason, 3) it had to fit with our personal experience, and 4) it could not be contrary to church tradition. This standard for considering spiritual truth has come to be known as the Wesleyan Quadrilateral. Maybe it will be helpful for you and your g/f to talk about things in this context.

Answer 5

I suggest you both read a book called Retrieving the Tradition & Renewing Evangelicalism: A Primer for Suspicious Protestants by D.H. Williams.

It is written by a Baptist pastor who teaches at a Roman Catholic university. It is geared towards helping independent Protestants become familiar with the tradition of Christianity and embrace it. I think it will be helpful for you both.

Answer 6

You should study Catholic apologetics. The Catholic faith is more Bible based than most people think. Here is one of many sites that you might find helpful.

www.catholicapologetics.org/

I suggest that you try to work things out before you get married. I am Catholic and my husband is not. We worked out the details of our arrangement before we married, but it is still very difficult. If these things aren't resolved that will make it that much more difficult in marriage.

Best wishes to you and your fiance.

God bless,
Stanbo

Answer 7

I'm so impressed that you're talking about this kind of stuff and that you're concerned enough to research it. I used to know of some books. Let me see if I can find some titles.

This workbook has a section on faith, among other things like work, sex, money, children. Unfortuantely it's "for engaged couples" so the title may be a turnoff at this stage of your relationship http://www.amazon.com/Handbook-Engaged-Couples-Communication-Married/dp/0830819789/ref=sr_1_2/104-9634115-2348766?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1176703783&sr=8-2

If you get counselling, get it from someone neutral. Not from "her" church or from "yours." I married a catholic and I was a fundy. Now we're both atheists. I think the most important thing is that you're willing to be open to change and that you not just "tolerate" the others difference of belief, but "accept" them.

Answer 8

If you're going to get married you shouldn't be fighting over this. The marriage is already doomed. You're both too obsessed with RITUALS rather than Jesus and God.

And remember, Jesus was Jewish he wouldn't agree with either of you two on matters of the Temple. He didn't agree with the Jewish Religious Leaders, the Phrarasees and made no bones about it. He'd take you both on. You two ready to DUKE IT OUT with Jesus!

And this is what your fight is about. MATTERS OF THE TEMPLE. Rules and Regulations OF THE TEMPLE.

That's a silly thing to fight over.

Each of you has your own beliefs and rules, respect each other!

Neither of you may be ultimately right, but each is allowed free will of choice to do whatever rituals you think pleases God.

Now, get over it or find new suitors.

Let's see how much you two really love each other!

This is a test from God and as with ALL tests from God it is PASS/FAIL

Answer 9

Get a book about the history of the Orthodox church. It is not the RC church or hers. In it you will see the history of the church up to the split in 1054. Here she will see that the Bible is not the only basis for Christianity. She will see that your Church follows more closely the true way, without your having to argue with her or tell her about the R.C. church.
Book:The Orthodox Way by Kallistos Ware

Answer 10

BREAK UP. I'm not kidding. Or, one of you should convert. OK, maybe not. But seriously, yeah, most of the Catholic stuff is not Biblical at all. Then again, the non-denominational folks often believe a lot of crazy stuff too, they tend to take the Bible quite literally. I would probably break up though, seriously. Find yourself spiritually first, then get married. Seriously.