2007-04-15 18:48:04 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I just laughed so hard I scared the cat--dude, for jesus, google "god hates figs"
2007-04-15 18:52:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Abominable shrimp? Contacting water would by all means touch the "Abominable shrimp"!
2007-04-16 01:51:07 · answer #2 · answered by blackmail8549 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is this sudden shrimp obsession? I feel like I'm trapped in a Red Lobster (tm$) commercial.
"Farking Amazing! Farking Amazing! Save the Shrimp!"
2007-04-16 01:54:43 · answer #3 · answered by Hatir Ba Loon 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
And that's not all! Sorry, but you got me on a Levitical Roll here. I just found this lovely bit. Where is a dermatologist when you need one?
When there is on the skin of one's body a boil that has healed, and in the place of the boil there appears a white swelling or a reddish-white spot, it shall be shown to the priest. The priest shall make an examination, and if it appears deeper than the skin and its hair has turned white, the priest shall pronounce him unclean this is a leprous disease, broken out in the boil. But if the priest examines it and the hair on it is not white, nor is it deeper than the skin but has abated, the priest shall confine him seven days. If it spreads in the skin, the priest shall pronounce him unclean it is diseased. But if the spot remains in one place and does not spread, it is the scar of the boil the priest shall pronounce him clean (Lev 13 vs:18-20).
2007-04-16 01:51:08 · answer #4 · answered by Laptop Jesus 3.9 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
"For God so loved the sea creatures that he did not threaten them as he threatened all others in Genesis 6"
(God said he wanted to destroy mankind, animals, creeping things and fowls of the air, but did not say he wanted to destroy the creatures of the sea. That wasn't just cause he knew he couldn't drown them; it was cause he loved them.)
And Jesus too loved the sea creatures. The real reason he walked in water that day is cause it was chilly, and he didn't want to get his socks wet.
2007-04-16 10:45:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Jesus stories are an amalgamation of various mythical characters. One of them is the sun-god, which 'walks on water' at the end of the day.
It would all be quite poetic if millions of people didn't have to die over it.
2007-04-16 01:51:28 · answer #6 · answered by nora22000 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Actually it would be much more effective to walk one centimeter above the surface of the water so the leather of a good set of sandals doesn't get soaked----it would keep you out of the water beasties, also.
2007-04-16 02:00:01 · answer #7 · answered by Terry 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Actually, Jesus' feet were made out of bread, just like the rest of him, that's why christians eat bread at communion and call it his body, because it was! His blood was wine too, which is equally rad because I bet vampires would get really drunk if they decided to suck Jesus' neck. (maybe they did since he rose from death)
2007-04-16 01:55:32 · answer #8 · answered by CreakingUniverse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Anyway, like I was sayin', shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. Dey's uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. That- that's about it." Bubba, Forrest Gump
2007-04-16 01:51:57 · answer #9 · answered by FarOut 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ask Criss Angel, he also walks on water.
2007-04-16 01:56:19 · answer #10 · answered by Electrobird 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋