I don't know if anyone out there is going through the same frustrating issues that i am. First my husband is National Guard and he has been deployed since June and now its April. Lately these days the signal over there is so bad he is lucky to have a signal for 10 minutes to talk to me on yahoo or google chat. Not being able to talk to him makes me feel like i am falling apart. I do write and send packages but he is not a letter writer. So i am trying to keep it together and not cry all the time cause we have a little girl and i don't want to make her upset. I feel so alone. I don't go to FRG meetings cause they are too far away and i don't know anyone in my unit. I try to have fun and keep busy like i am going back to school and i have started exercising everyday and stuff. I sew and crochet and play and read books to my daughter. This is rough and i don't know how to cope. Counseling doesn't work cause i already tried that. I wish there was an answer but i feel so alone and so sad.
2007-04-15 17:14:53 · 9 answers · asked by ? 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
Find on online message board for military wives.
I know iVillage has one.
2007-04-15 17:30:02 · answer #1 · answered by The A's 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All wars suck for the families of soldiers who are deployed. Even with great modern technology like the Internet and satellite communication, you are still separated. Can you contact any of the other families that have soldiers in his unit? Maybe spending some time with them will help. They are all going through the same thing you are right now. Do some volunteer work making care packages to send to your husband's and other units. I am sure the soldiers would love to get a little package from home. There really isn't an easy answer to this one.
2007-04-15 17:23:24 · answer #2 · answered by msi_cord 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
As a National Guard spouse you are in a tough predicatment. At an active duty station you would have more support,but being in the civilian sector (probably not close to a base) there is not much opportunity to encounter others like you. My brother -in -law returned from a year in Iraq in October. He is in the National Guard and his wife had the same issues. My husband is active duty Marine Corps but when they leave we have a strong support system. I pray for a speedy and safe return for your husband.Your frustrations are understandable. Are there any other wives in your local area that you can make a local support group with? I wish you luck.
2007-04-15 17:25:07 · answer #3 · answered by Theresa W 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not alone, about 98% of Military family is right there with you, you need to think about the future now the past is already past for you.. He has been gone since June you only have 2 more months to go, you can make it.. You have already crossed the half way point and you are downhill from now.. You are doing good by keeping busy, and keeping strong for your child.. Well here is me, my husband had 6 months left and now 9 do to the change.. I was starting to get better and now doing ok again.. It took a few days to remember what I am waiting for.. I have started alot of planning, and it keeps me real real busy.. What I mean by planning is getting everything just the way I want it for when he gets home.. Using the extra pay to get the things done we wanted while he was home.. I have bought the new living room set we picked out and bought all the things for decore, so when I move back to our home I am just ready to put it all up and sit back and say ahhhh... But that is one of my passions, a home to me is my passion to make it the best home he can have.. I take alot of pictures of things he could miss, you know like the first snow here in Indiana, and our new car when I wrecked it oppss... His dog chewed up 12 rolls of Charmin the big ones.. Had to let him see that, pics of the kids alot, and of what we have done like fishing or we adopted ducks to set free after they were babies.. We just stay family busy, I understand your mind is going to wonder still and your heart is going to hurt.. Take and make a journal, I write alot of what I feel and it helps me.. Finding people like you is going to be hard since you are not in a Military town, I have the same problem.. I will talk to you whenever you need to talk tho... You just need to keep your chin up and remeber he is going to be home real soon.. and you are going to be past him going away the very second you see him... You should also look back at how long he has been gone.. It didnt take to long to get passed it did it.. Baby steps, take everyday with small steps dont look at the 2 month big picture look at it in days, one day at a time.. Welp hope that helped a little bit... and Keep that Chin up.. you dont do good in life when you are always looking at the ground...
2007-04-15 18:16:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
what is with the signal lately? i thought i was the only one who noticed that... talk to my husband for 10 minutes and *poof* he's gone...
i hear you, same boat here, nat guard spouse. do you have friends or family close, they are invaluable during this time. there are some good online groups for military spouses, cinchouse.com is the best one i've found.
you said counseling didn't work. sometimes it really depends on who you go to, different counsleing techniques work for different people. you might see if there's anyone else you can go and talk to.
when i have those moments where i get sad and miss my husband i've started to stop and pray for him and his well being and our marriage... it gets easier when you stop and step back from the big picture with prayer.
good luck and hang in there
2007-04-15 18:34:50 · answer #5 · answered by pele 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you're defiantly not alone. i havnt seen my boyfriend in 7months and he is already talking about going back for another 18 after he gets home next month. i dont know if i can handle this stuff 1/2 the time. he has written me once and calls every now and then and he doesnt like the internet. i go crazy all the time b/c what if he comes home and everything falls apart. oh well. waiting for him is worth it!! just keep doing what u are and one day it will all be over...
2007-04-15 17:19:27 · answer #6 · answered by coffee g 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get in the FRG on the computer....there are a lot of other people in your same situation....you can sound off or just chat with other wives who feel the same way you do...they will welcome you with open arms and help be there for you threw the good and bad. they will post notes on the internet about the meetings to let you know what is going on. they will keep you up to dated on what is going on with our men and women over there. please do this...it will help get you threw this till your man comes home. my daughter is on it with her group and it really helps her. she to is to far away to go to the meetings and this helps. get a hold of his recruiter or look thru his papers to find a name so you can get hooked up with the FRG. do it asap...it is better than therapy.....and you will feel so much better....if in doubts, ask another question on this subject...give just enough info to get the ball rolling and maybe someone will help you get to the group. May
God bless you soldier and keep him safe....we will pray for his safe return. granny
2007-04-15 17:29:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to find people that are in the same situation as you. Someone who knows exactly what you're going thru. It helps so much to have someone to talk to that understands.
2007-04-15 17:24:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A good reason to vote against all supporters of "The Failure", George "Waterloo" Bush. He has always been and always will be a total loser. Good riddance to his kind of rubbish.
2007-04-15 17:22:27 · answer #9 · answered by Timothy M 5 · 0⤊ 4⤋