Why has my wife been on stress leave for over 1 year?

Question

2 months before we seperated my wife went on stress leave. During this time she had nothing to do but play detective. We had problems and I was forced to leave. Why is she still on stress leave?

Answer 1

She is on stress leave, because she is under undue stress. This is serious; it is very difficult to be gfranted stress leave from your job. She must be under a doctor's care.

You should be supportive instead of being condesceding of her. You said she had time to snoop, you must have given her someting to snoop.

Answer 2

1. She went on stress leave before you separated.

That could be for any number of reasons. It could be because of the stress of a troubled relationship. Separation/Divorce is second on the list of anxiety producing events. Death of a loved one being the first on the list.

2. You say she had nothing to do but play detective, and you say it with resentment and bitterness.

What did she have to be detective over and why did she feel it was so important to do "nothing" but that? Why are you bitter about her playing detective? Were you the focus of her investigation?

3. You were forced to leave which tells me you and she are not together.

So, why are you asking, or even concerned, or think it's any of your business that she's still on leave?

Sounds like someone has a control problem and she might have very good reason to be stressed. People do not get over the loss of a job, the loss of health, the loss of a relationship overnight or often even in several months.

Why are YOU spending so much energy on what your wife is doing now that you are no longer with her?

Answer 3

This is a question for your wife, and her Dr.
If you truly do not understand - where have you been over the past year? She obviously has extraordinary emotional-mental- social overload to SOMETHING. And she would also need the emotional assistance and support of family members to move beyond her current difficulties.

I'm not saying whether her "detective playing" was good or bad. I will say that her stress was increased by the separation

Do you want to continue this separation? If not, it might be time to start asking her some sensitive questions in a caring and non-judgemental way.

--By the way, I, myself was in an auto accident 6 yrs. ago. My head injury was such that each time I was in a stressful or employment situation my abliities of discernment, reasoning, decision making, math, and performing company proceedures - In the moments when faced with the need to act or speak quickly, my brain would freeze-up and I couldn't even pronounce words or sentences intelligently. My memory continues to have major problems, such that employers don't want me and my family is negatively impacted on a regular basis with my forgetting. My head injury was minor. All it took was a whiplash...and 6 years later I'm still paying for it.

Now, maybe my story will help you to clue-in on your wife's issues, and see to it that she has access to Dr.s and medications on a regular basis.

Answer 4

Maybe she hates her job, and then you two separated that can be very emotional, She probably should see a Therapist and start some mild drugs to start helping her stress etc. And then she'd also have someone to to talk to. There must be a reason for all of this. Even the though you not together anymore try to help her out.

Answer 5

why don't you ask her? If she's on stress leave she must be dealing with some issues, but no one can say what they are except for her.

I however, wouldn't ask her if you aren't on good terms with her - or else she might get upset with you.

Did she give a reason when she first started her stress leave?

Answer 6

As u already said she is paying detective. U refrain from such activities which make her stressed.

Answer 7

it's not that important that u do but get off her nerves.