Life is bland and bitter, I feel I am part of an assembly line. Help!!?

Question

Personal reasons have forced me to spend time for two years at home after college - without working. My college was a great institution - with universal respect, - but now I feel I am sinking into shame and oblivion with each passing day - and my parents don't understand. I smile and talk well with everyone around me, but there's a fault line inside that I push each time I get the blues- and that is very often. People look and me and start wondering aloud - and that still doesn't make any difference to my (single) parent. I start fantasising useless dreams - like turning the clock and starting school again - or I work myself into a self-sustaining loop of anger. Somebody help! Please!

Answer 1

First of all, your feelings are totally normal. After the rigors and intense variety of undergrad academics, you earned a break! But going for two years without being involved in something productive is guaranteed to bring down an active, curious mind.
So, please don't be too hard on yourself.
Try to work on the personal reasons that have kept you from returning to school and what changes (even small ones can be significant!) you can enact that will help bring you out of your depression and back on top where you belong!

And while you can't turn the clock back, you *can* and absolutely *should* take the bull by the horns and get back into life by starting school again.

There are *many* of us out there who took way long hiatuses from school (I went for 20 years, raising two kids and traveling during that time)

Remember the words of George Eliot: "It is never too late to be what you might have been."
I am living proof of this, and if I can do it, you can too!!

People have left a lot of good advice here, and do you know why? There's a lot of caring out there, even from strangers, and most of all, because pretty much every one of us has been in a similar situation as yours. You are not alone, and if the rest of us bounced back, you can too. It is hard work, but do not let that deter you -- nothing worth having was ever easy, I promise.

Taking small steps back into the game of life is perfectly fine. You don't have to start out perfect, you just have to start!

Be kind and patient with yourself. Imagine and believe that you can do whatever is your heart's desire. And take those first steps towards it.

Two other quick bits of important advice: 1. get moving physically if at all possible. Exercise -- even in bed -- alleviates depression. And 2. Look into natural supplements to treat your depression, especially adrenal support, and a good multi-vitamin, and lots of water!

Good luck to you, and don't ever give up. There are *always* ways around every difficulty. Seriously. Believe this, it's true!!
Take care.
:)

Answer 2

The part of your plight that stands out to me most is that you say you're forced to live at home without working for two years. Two years is a lot of time, and is time to turn most problems around. Unless the reason is a legal issue where you're forced by law, in which your parents would be aware and surely understand, or if you have a major health problem in which you're disabled, also your parents would notice that and understand.

I do not know, and I cannot judge because you haven't said the reason but I have a hard time seeing why after two years you cannot and have not found some sort of activities or employment that will fullfill you.

I know that your reason could be valid and just one I haven't considered, but I have to wonder how much of your problem is that you're making excuses not to succeed.

Of course, you say you still wish you could go back to college. Well, why not? Why not go back and further your education, get a higher degree and get your feet under you. You would at least be doing something that would give you a sense of purpose and accomplishment.

Answer 3

Life is what you make of it no matter what the circumstances or geography. You can make the most or least out of any time in your life, the option is how you choose to spend that time period. You may feel trapped, but it sounds as if you are helping your parent, he/she spent years nurturing you and giving you the blessing of an advanced education.
perhaps you should stop feeling sorry for yourself, be thankful of the time with your parent and use this time to become a better person.
It is these very same challenges in life that separate the men from the boys. A man will step up to the plate and do what is right and needed, a boy will be present, but whine and bemoan the fact that the world is not revolving around him.
My advice, grow up.

Answer 4

It sounds like you need to get out and DO something--play in a band, rollerblade in the park, volunteer, draw....I don't know what your 'personal reasons' are, but unless you are completely incapable of getting around, you need to get off your butt and do something you'll feel good about later. Preferably something that involves other people in a positive way. What about volleyball at the beach? Or biking with friends on some local trails? Maybe you like taking pictures or watching people. Whatever you enjoy doing, do it!
Your current situation is temporary. You may as well make up your mind to enjoy it. Before you know it, your situation will change and your present state of mind will be a fading memory.

Answer 5

Oh, my dear, I have been there, suffered that. First, you need to make an appointment with a counselor. Just knowing you are doing something for yourself, you will start to feel better. Next, make an appointment with your family doctor for a complete check up, so you eliminate any physical causes for how you are feeling.

Third, pick up a book on self-esteem so you can learn what you need to do for yourself. All this takes work, but every step is worth its weight in gold. Forth, take a walk everyday, getting out feels good: you get runners' high after about 3 to 6 months of regular walks; it regulates your whole system, you can greet and even get to know some of your neighbors better.
Don't give up on school. There are lots of older students in college, I'm 55 and I just finished last June, and there was a lady who was 80 in one of my classes. In fact it was a lot of fun, experience teaches you a lot you can share with the younger students.
You will do better, you will feel good again. We all have wounds of one kind or another, and after they heal, they become a strength to build your future on.

Answer 6

This may sound harsh,but you're wallowing in your own self pitty of the past. Do you want a live a life full of regrets? or a life full of prasies for things you took the risk to do.? Think of it this way it never hurts TO TRY! if you fear doing everything then you'll never get anyhere in this life. Life is about taking risk,not staying on the ground for good once you fall down.I'm not trying to affend you in anyway. Everyone fails and screws up in some way. It's from mistakes like those that we learn how to become achivers!
Get a Job! Achive your dreams, it's not going to kill you!!

Answer 7

I believe that you should leave the past and live in the present in order to be happy in the future.So much for philosophy.

I figure you need something to "bring you to balance" as some of the ppl here said.
My sugestion : Start looking for something,anything interesting in your current life and make the best of it .Don't let anyone tell you how to live your life, live it as you see fit.
As for your parrents,they are not guilty because they can't help you.If they have failed you ,they did so unwillingly and unknowingly.But if they could not help you find help for your self,dont blame them !

Just a thought :
If you lack in self confidence , get a gun,find a shooting range,fire out a couple of rounds,fell the power,just don't kill anyone,but if that's what you feel your lacking(self - confidence),this will give you the power to look any man into the eye,no matter how horifying he is.

Answer 8

It is true. Courage is difficult to cough up, this is where you draw from some miraculous well that only you know of. A secret mysterious well of deep faith in yourself.
Pray for spiritual guidance, lose superficial pride of self.
A humble demeanor, a disciplined work ethic and a clean and neat appearance, and you will be set for a job and maybe some night classes.
You will laugh at your self doubt when you discover at the first session of classes that the world is full of people like yourself.

Answer 9

First of all, you sound depressed, so get counseling and medication if necessary. Make use of your anger to energize you into doing something. Get out and do SOMETHING. If you could volunteer, great. You could do some self-studying or maybe study on-line. Find a hobby. Write or paint what you are angry about. In order to not be a cog in the machine, we have to make ourselves into something different and better. Dig into yourself to find what you are passionate about and just do it. Whatever anyone else says. Hang in there.

Answer 10

I went back to school when I was 30. You might not be able to go back to the school you were at right now, but there are smaller schools and on-line schools etc. Sounds like your smart, think out of the box and find some alternatives like scholarships, grants, and on-line courses. Even if finances or other stuff has happened there's more than one way to skin a cat. (like loans I am in hock to my eyeballs but it was worth it!)
Hope this works out. Think Big!