I meet and feel in love with guy 10 yrs ago, we broke up, but I had no idea he was seeing someone else. We ended up meeting one night to "reflame a relationship" and I got pregnate. He never told me of the girlfriend until I had the baby & they broke up.He has never seen the child or given support. Since my child has been born I have had support only from MY family. A month ago we started talking, he says he wants to do DNA. (that was a month ago 7yrs from birth) But since then we have talked in some form every night. I find myself falling back in love with him because he has sorta changed, BUT MY FAMILY WOULD NOT HAVE US IN THE FAMILY ANYMORE AND NOT LET ME BACK IN IF WE BROKE UP. BUT I truely do not feel they would do it becuase of the grandchild but I still do not know how to react to my feelings or belive what he says. I want to be married forever, not because of a kid. I can not get him or our future out of my head.
2007-04-15 16:04:38 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ahem! He's had 7 years to show you his true character. It's obvious the guy is not a man. If he were he'd have already done the DNA testing and had supported the child if it were his.
You are lonely by the sounds of things and are falling for the guy once again because he's showing attention. The man is a dog. Be wary of his motives. Remember, the best indicator of future behavior is past behavior. Don't expect things to be different now than they were in the past.
The guy will always be the father. But don't make him your significant other.
2007-04-15 16:17:02 · answer #1 · answered by pensacola_sand 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I was you I would go ahead with the DNA tests. Once he is proven to be the father see if he steps up to his responsibility as a father. If he doesn't then that should end it between you and him. If he does start being a father to your child then this shows he might have changed. Tell your family he has contacted you and wants DNA testing done. Once he shows your family he has changed and wants to take some responsibility for his child they may not be so set against you being with him. People can change but not very often. Take it slow and ask him what has taken seven years. Try not to let your feelings get the best of you till he at least gives you some indication he has changed, not just talk.
Good Luck
2007-04-15 16:38:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This guy left you for someone else, or because he was seeing the two of you concurrently. You get pregnant because of a one nighter and he has not been a financial or emotional support for you in the 7 years that you have been raising his child. Not to mention that he is a useless father to your child. It's better to be with alone than with a loser that doesn't care about you. Grow a spine, step up and support your own child, what do you need with a dropkick like him? The fact that he wants to do DNA shows that he is sceptical as to whether the child is even his, which puts your reputation into disrepute.
2007-04-15 16:12:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will not marry you. Get that down first. Now think rationally outside of the bliss of what you are making the relationship out to be. If he is the child's father, he deserves to have a relationship because that child deserves to have a father. Your family will get over the child seeing his father. You make the right decision. Do not fall into your old ways. The trap is still the same, but you ma'am are a different, more mature woman not susceptible to an old dog with new tricks. Grand luck :-)
2007-04-15 16:10:28 · answer #4 · answered by vanity planning 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy is not trustworthy. For the sake your child do not allow him back into your life. this is the part where you sacrifice for your child. Please do not plague your child with the drama that surrounds an on again off again relationship with the father. Do the DNA test, and establish child support, and end it there. As a single mom, i know the impact having bad relationships takes on your ability to be a good parent. Trust me, you'll thank me later.
2007-04-15 16:08:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can afford to make your own decisions - go for him if you want, your family will accept it later, maybe years later. If you can't afford to leave your family - you're their dependent, you'll have to stay with your family. You can't risk your safety and the safety of your child just for this guy.
He sounds like a loser to me, why does he need a DNA test? why not raise a child that you consider to be his as his? What will DNA test change? Why is he dictating conditions on which you will take him back? He should be asking you if you will allow him to be next to you, not making you to do the DNA test.
2007-04-15 16:10:04 · answer #6 · answered by Everybody's Favorite 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to be frank, yet he looks like a douchebag. You and Brooklyn will the two be greater helpful off with out him on your existence, he has abused you emotionally and stated terrible issues to you-no person tells all people they like to kill themselves. what's superb on your baby is to no longer have the form of emotional abuse in her existence. How do you comprehend whilst he next gets scared he can not tutor around and go away returned, once you AND your toddler are much greater financially and emotionally dependant on him. yet on the top of the day it is your determination, in case you think of you won't have the ability to stay with out him then get returned mutually, yet ensure you could help your self financially if he does go away and which you have family contributors or acquaintances to tutor to besides, do no longer permit him isolate you. additionally i think of Brooklyn is a great lovable call for somewhat woman, and you're heavily brave, and youthful unmarried parents CAN develop smart in a position toddlers.
2016-12-29 15:09:12 · answer #7 · answered by lambrix 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give peace a chance!
do it for the kid and yourself. My wife and I had two children together. we broke it off when she was preg with the last one, after three years. her family hated me. we did not speak for four years, then I sent her a card in the mail. six months later I met my daughter and got to know my son again. we dated for six months while I got counseling and started taking medication, for better mental health. we engaged for a year and got married. now her family likes me and the kids have a father who loves them and their mom. its been ten years and things could not be better.
good luck
2007-04-15 16:17:11 · answer #8 · answered by ♥mtnsky♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry about your dilemma....however, when you meet up one night to "reflame a relationship", that shouldn't involve you getting "pregnate". It should be a nice long heart to heart talk about what each of you wants......it's pretty clear to me what he wants. What do YOU want? Don't believe anything he says.
2007-04-15 16:13:33 · answer #9 · answered by spelling nazi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
marry him- itd be best for you and your kid. if he truly has changed youll be with the person you love and your child will get to experience a "stable" relationship. plus he or she will know their real father, not sure how that helps exactly but i think it might
2007-04-15 16:11:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋