My fiance's neice died in an accident. His mom let me know where the viewing and funeral will be and told me i could go if i wanted. My fiance is in iraq right now and we're choosing not to tell him because we're afraid it'll mess up his concentration. I dont know if i should go to the viewing or not. It hasnt been formally announced that we're engaged and not all of his family knows me yet. What should i do?
2007-04-15 13:31:34 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
beings that you are going to be a part of the family, it's best to show support during this time of need. you are representing your soon-to-be husband since he's in iraq now, so you should go for the both of you. it's good that you don't tell him anything now as it could deter his concentration from what he's got to do out there. but there are always consequences from those actions as well. i know that the american red cross could be notified and they could contact your fiance about it, however, i believe that he'd only be able to come home if it was immediate family unfortunetly. if he would be able to come home for it (which may be too late now but you never know) then i suggest you tell him. his reactions, however, when he finally comes home and hears about his neice's passing could shock him as well. depending on what he's doing out there, where his location is and how much action he's seeing would determine if it's good or not to tell him.
sorry, i know that that isn't the initial answer towards your question. it would be good of you to go though to show some support. it doesn't matter that the rest of the family doesn't know that you are engaged, however i understand that it would be a bit uncomfortable. the best thing for you to do is grin and bear it. like i said, you are representing your fiance during this time in his family while he's gone, so stand tall and introduce yourself to your new family. good luck.
2007-04-15 13:42:28 · answer #1 · answered by Shakti Svātantrya Isa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As your fiance cant be there then you should go in place of him.Please be warned that viewing is painful.Whether you just attend the funeral is probably better if you dont know the niece that well.I hope and pray that your fiance is kept safe and my best wishes to your fiances family.
2007-04-15 21:21:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow. that's a shitty situation you have right there. but if i were you, i would go because it shows that you care and it might be good for when they do know that you guys are engaged. and it might also show your fiance that the person he loves went to the the funeral even though he doesn't know about it yet.. if you understand what im saying.
2007-04-15 21:33:02 · answer #3 · answered by kelly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your fiance's mom told about your the funeral. So it's appropriate for you to go.
2007-04-15 20:47:10 · answer #4 · answered by Reycen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first thing i would tell him about his neice i wouldnt keep that from him.....just because his in iraq dosent mean he souldnt know about his neice passing and if you dont tell him and you have keeped it from him how do you think he would act or feel that you and his family keeped somthing big like that from him.......say if you were in iraq and your neice passed what would you want you fiance to do would you want him to tell you about your neice or would you want him to keep it from you.......and if he did keep it from you and you came home from iraq and you wanted to see your neice but because everyone didnt tell you that she passed......you still think shes around how would you feel about not knowing but then everyone tells you that she passed how would you feel.......do you really think that you sould keep it from him because i wouldnt.........he and you sould go to gether to the funeral.........dont let him miss achance to say good bye to his neice you must tell him or it will eat you inside till you do tell him you are both engaged to each other best thing is to tell him the truth.........its shouldnt be anyone place not to tell him about his neice its wrong.........and he will be hurt more that his fiance didnt tell him about his neice neather did his family because you all thought that he needs to be concentrating on what he is doing..........how would you and his family like not to be told that your fiance and there son passed in iraq and they keeped it from you how would you all feel............Tell Him About HIs Neice............i hope i have opend up your eyes and help you make the right choice.......if you need any more advice or somone to talk to you can come to me
2007-04-15 20:48:26 · answer #5 · answered by badgirlforlife007 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
totally go...even if the engagement isnt announced yet..he would want you there by his side if he was able to go..so go without him and show your respects to the family...after all, you will be apart of it...do it for your husband
2007-04-15 20:37:20 · answer #6 · answered by Rachel D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since your fiance can't be there maybe it is a good idea to show up in his honor.
2007-04-15 20:35:40 · answer #7 · answered by stepintostep 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go and show yours and his respects just put both names your and his in the book
2007-04-15 20:36:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I THINK U SHOULD GO THAT A WAY U WILL ET A CHANCE TO MEET UR HUSBANDS FAMILY
2007-04-15 20:36:52 · answer #9 · answered by QueenT 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GO!! It is the right thing to do. If you don't go, you may regret your inaction.
2007-04-15 20:37:08 · answer #10 · answered by CapeCodGram 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋