Question about having kids or not having kids?

Question

At one of my former workplaces, I recall being in the employee lounge one day and overhearing a conversation between a woman who was somewhere in her early twenties and a woman who was in her early fifties. The twenty-something made a comment along the lines of "I'm not sure if I will ever want to have children." The fifty-something woman responded with, "Honey, I don't blame you. If I were young and just starting out right now, I probably wouldn't have kids, either. Don't get me wrong, my kids are everything to me. But if I were your age, I would probably make the decision to not have kids."

I was just wondering, does anyone else feel that way?

Answer 1

Even I am a man I am going to answer you..
having kids or not is a very personnal choice, never take that decision over some others answers, because it depends on many factors...
1.- your health
2.- if you have a mate is both decision
3.- your financial situation
4.- if you really want them
5.- kids are not like pets or toys, they mean to be reponsable for them, you must be there for them anytime, even if you are tired after work, or wathever
6.- right now I have 2 kids , and even I am divorced they still are the most important in my life.
7.- when you see in a small body your flesh and blood is a unique feeling, even how they breath when they are sleep seems as a miracle, and indeed that is it, and after some time when you see them growing up, you have many satisfactions...
from Mexico

Answer 2

Never do I feel this way. This isnt to say I dont ever desperatly need me-time. That woman in her fifties maybe had her kids before she was ready and maybe resents her kids for it or maybe she's one of those woman who do everything themselves and her husband does nothing. This would be harder. I started young(at 21) and Ive had 3 beautiful children(Im 26). I was ready, I was trying. My kids are my world. Then again, I get my breaks. My husband is a partner and I dont feel too overwhelmed because when he's not working he's right there with us. Off track here. basically I ust think she has too much on her plate and under appreciates how wonderful it is to be a mom. The 20-something may or may not go on to have kids. Kids arent for everyone. If you dont want kids, simply dont create them. Its not a must, its an individual decsision.

Answer 3

Guess what! Having kids is a choice. Surprise! Most people do not realize this. Not having children by choice is called Child Free. It is an ever growing movement. Most of the members are while people of European decent, but the idea is slowing catching on with other demographic groups.

I have no children. I had a vasectomy at 21. My girlfriend is the same. We know other couples that are doing the same. Some are married, and some are not. Most are very successful.

Answer 4

I have four grown children and four grandchildren. I honestly loved being a Mom and I was home until my youngest was in school and then I only worked part-time during school, I was always home when my kids, and most of the neighbors kids came home from school. I have been divorced 17 years, I left when my youngest was 17 yrs old. My kids hardly ever call, rarely remember my birthday and I am certainly not part of ant of their lives. # of them have been married and all of them are divorced. Three of them are very successful, the forth, not so much. I have always and continue to acknowledge each birthday, major holidays and with the grand kids all the minor holidays as well. Sometimes a musical card, sometimes a dollar in an St. Patrick's day card, stickers in a Valentines card, etc. If I had to do it again, I would NOT have any children.

Answer 5

Of course everyone don't feel that way... Some peoples whole goal in life is to have kids and be a at home mom. Some people are glad they had kids but wish they were under different circumstances ( like having them too young, or before marriage). That don't mean that they wish they didn't have them... Maybe that woman had a horrible time with her kids, or She knows something about the younger woman that u don't know.. Everyone is different.. U little ease dropper u!

Answer 6

I'm glad to have them, sometimes wish I could take a vacation with my husband and leave the kids for a week or so, but never for longer than that.... As much as I look forward to them being on their own some day, I'm sure I'll have a bad case of "empty nest syndrome" when they're off to college. I don't and never will regret having them. I completely see why some people don't want kids, it's not for everyone, and childless adults make excellent babysitters so it's ok with me that some of my friends are going that route ;-)

Answer 7

A lot of people have kids just to have kids and they never really thought about it. Too many parents seem overburdened and stressed out. I never wanted to be one of those parents whacking their kid in public at the supermarket. Every child deserves to be a wanted child. If someone can provide that feeling of a loving environment, good. If they decide parenthood isn't their thing, I think that decision needs to be respected and honored just as much as the decision to have kids. Not everyone is cut out to be a parent.

Answer 8

Yes and no.

I love my kids A LOT, I never thought being a parent could be so much fun; at the same time they a tremendous responsibility and can kind of crimp your style.

Answer 9

Really I'll say that's bad thinking for any woman, whether young or old. Children are pride and the joy of a lifetime. Any woman who is yet to have and does not feel like having should consider herself abnormal

Answer 10

I'm still young, but I'm definately looking foward to having a family after I'm done with my masters and all..can't say everyone feels that way though