Our cat of 17 had to be put to sleep yesterday, I'm finding it hard to cope without her, any ideas?

Answer 1

to be honest...you just have to think about the positive things, if it was put to sleep them it was obviously in pain or too old to live and its better that its not suffering any more and at least you know it had a great life!

Answer 2

I am so sorry to hear this. You need to remember all the good times you had with her and how special she was. It does take a while to get over but you will get there. You should pick a nice photo of you and Pika and put it in a pretty photo frame so whenever you feel bad you can look at that and remember the fun you had with her. And try not to be sad about not saying goodbye, you didn't know what was going to happen. I am going through a similar thing at the moment, my parents took my oldest cat to the vets and she was put down (old age) but because I live in a different city as I am at Uni, I didn't get to say goodbye. Remember the way she was and not the past week when she started getting sick. My thoughts are with you x

Answer 3

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, cry it out hon, you'll feel better eventually, with time it does get easier. If it's any consolation I believe that they are always with you no matter what. So remember the 17 good years you had with your pet & that you were kind enough not to let her suffer at the end, too few cats get looked after in this manner. In a little while perhaps you might consider going to a local shelter & giving a chance to a cat in need. They will never replace your other pet but you will have another friend. Check out the links you may find some comfort in it -

http://www.chaptanservices.com/purrs/index.php

http://www.indigo.org/rainbowbridge_ver2.html

Answer 4

So sorry for your loss. Many people don'e realize that a pet is a very big part of your life, a friend with unconditional love. Let yourself grieve, say goodbye, plant some catnip or flowers over her grave, and when you are ready, start checking with local animal shelters for a new cat. This one isn't a replacement, but a new friend for you. And you'll feel better playing and napping and even crying with the new guy or gal. Petfinder.org can help you find one near where you live. When my bichon frise died, I simply had to have another little white lapdog within a few days (even though we had several other animals). On petfinder, I found Sparky, a westie who needed me just as much. Also, adopting an adult cat instead of a kitten is good, because they are less likely to get "chosen" by families with kids. And they are better behaved. Take care, and know that there are millions of others of us who know your pain and wish you well.

Answer 5

After All, He was Only a Pet...
General Pet Care >> After All, He was Only a Pet...

When Being Strong Hurts More Than Grieving Can
The death of a pet is never an easy time. Whether it is an older animal, who may have been a part of the family longer than most of the furniture and some of the children, or a pet who has been with you for only a few years, the loss can be truly traumatic. And if the end comes through a conscious decision for euthanasia, other emotions become entangled with the basic sense of loss. Once it's over, you may prefer to think that the experience is behind you. Unfortunately, it is not.

There will be a hole in your household and in your life for a while, and for the first part of that "while" the hole may seem huge. There ARE ways to fill the gap. However, the loss itself is not something you can simply ignore, assuming that your world will adjust itself. Instead, you must deal with that something, just as you would deal with the loss of any other good friend. Yes, it is a different kind of relationship, but to behave otherwise is to try and change your attitude in mid-stride. You cannot expect yourself to think of your pet as a friend and then to dismiss those feelings as disposable because THIS friend happened to be an animal. It is NOT silly to miss your pet, and it is NOT overly sentimental to grieve.

Another difference lies in the always complicated idea of "what happens next". Many people, especially older folks, express a very real concern that they won't see their animals in the next life (whatever that may be) because they have been told that animals have no souls. Maybe you, like me, are a little unsure about what exactly " the next life" holds for any of us. However, if having a soul means being able to feel love and trust and gratitude, then aren't some animals better equipped than a lot of humans?

But still, he was pet and not a person, and that makes it more complicated to sort out exactly what you are supposed to do and feel. Although we recognize the individual personalities in pets, that doesn't mean that they are just little people. The relationship you have with your pet is different from any human relationship you may have. We have the responsibility to care for animals and to learn from them. As we domesticated pets, they became dependent upon us for their needs. Part of caring for them, especially in a technologically advanced society, often means deciding when an animal can no longer live a happy life or even a content one.

When an animal is made a pet by a responsible, caring person, he is being given exactly what he needs and wants: his "creature comforts", companionship, and the opportunity to return the favor through loyalty and affection. Dogs, especially, are naturally eager to please the "leader of the pack", and the owner takes on that role. So the dog is never happier than when he knows that he is pleasing that person. When he is too old or too sick to respond in the way HE thinks he should, he can't understand why and feels the anxiety of failure.

Because their natural life-spans are shorter than ours, we usually outlive our pets. However, the life you shared cannot simply be abandoned. Don't deny yourself the thoughts, memories, and feelings that your pet's life deserves. You may decide to fill the hole with another pet. However, you can never replace the special bond you held with the one who is gone.

Answer 6

Firstly ignore anyone who says you shouldn't grieve for a pet-they do not understand how close people can get to their companion animals.

Don't get a new cat until your sure your ready.For now let yourself grieve.The pain will never go away fully but it will get far easier with time.

I can't tell you how much time as it varies for every person.Some people get over a loss in a few days others take years.

When you do decide you want another cat get 1 that looks as different as possible to your old 1.If you get a lookalike you'll expect it to act the same too and if it doesn't you'll be disappointed which isn't fair on the new pet.

Answer 7

I lost my cat at exactly the same age, and it was difficult at first because we were so used to him being around us in the house that just being in the house would remind us of him.

Definitely don't get another cat immediately. It will make you feel like you're replacing her, and you probably won't bond with your new cat because you're still missing your old one. Instead, have a waiting period and grieve. Seventeen years is brilliant for a cat- they usually die when they're around 14-18 years old. But it's difficult to remember this when you've just lost them.

After a while, perhaps go to the Cats Protection League and find another cat. We got another cat about two months after our last one died and it hasn't felt like we've replaced him at all- simply because all cats have different mannerisms. The house will feel less empty too, so it will stop feeling as if you've lost something from it. I hope that helped.

Answer 8

I know just how you feel - I had to have my cat of 22 put to sleep 2 weeks ago.

Try and think of all the good things (not about your cat being old and ill) and tell yourself that for your cat to live to 17 you must have given her a good life!

It's such a cliche that time heals - but its true. You need to give yourself time, and don't let anyone belittle you for mourning your cat.

Don't rush out and get a new cat straight away. Pets are not replaceable and you do need time to mourn.

I hope you feel better soon!

Answer 9

I'm so sorry to hear that. My cat is like my baby, and each and every one have such different personalities. This is something only cat/pet lovers can understand. Try to talk about the good times you had together with someone else who understands such love for a pet. Talk about the times she did something that made you laugh, talk about the odd things she did. You will never forget her, so don't feel guilty about wanting or needing another cat.
My cat Frankie was put to sleep at 17, too. She was a fantastic cat. We used to call her the 'trampolining tormentor' for the way she used to jump all over the bed, and CJ the 'Chicken Junkie', because she used to go mental when we cooked chicken - even to walk over the top of the GAS cooker when we were boiling the potatoes in an effort to reach the oven! We lost her in 1999 and I still miss her now. That part of it will never go away, but your love for her will stay too, so try and be strong. Don't hold it in - talk about your wonderful time with her with friends who will understand.
Sending you hugs at this awful time. Sue R x

Answer 10

Give yourself time to grieve and let yourself cry. Dont blame yourself - she was very old and obviously lead a happy life!

Dont rush out and get another cat straight away but over time getting a kitten might help as long as you know the kitten will never replace the love you had for your cat, you will still love the new cat with all your heart.

Good luck and I'm sorry for your loss xx

Answer 11

I'm so sorry about your loss. This is a hard time. I've been there, and it's never easy to lose a much loved animal friend.

My suggestion is to give yourself a little time to grieve but seriously start thinking about getting another cat. This is NOT to replace the one you lost- I know you can never do that. This is to begin to fill the emptiness with another cat that needs you and that you'll have a different relationship with.

I also like to plant something in my garden in honor of pets who die. If you have a place t plant something that can make you feel good to care for the growing plant while it becomes strong.