sex before marriage?

Question

I understand the reasoning behind the 'sex before marriage is a sin' view of christians. I was just wondering whther any christians worry about this. Surely sex is a large part of any relationship and should be 'tested' by a couple before marriage to make sure they...erm...'enjoy' each other before taking out a lifetime agreement of marriage.

I must say it is a noble sentiment, that you must marry the one you love 1st, but just think maybe it could cause long-term problems. what do you think?

Answer 1

Sounds like an excuse, and how many girls do you want to test. Sex before marriage is wrong for christians.

Answer 2

Basically marriage before sex is marrying your significant other then having sex. Sex before marriage is basically having sex before getting married to that person. Personally for me, I believe in sex before marriage, because I think if your in a committed & healthy relationship which will eventually lead into marriage then have sex all you want & it also depends on the maturity level of the relationship and how serious each person is about the relationship, but overall this is just my opinion.

Answer 3

Well it must come from the Bible - or perhaps some interpretation of it. Mainstream religions always aim to safeguard the family as a building block of society. Sex before marriage can lead to unwanted pregnancy and create trouble.

However this was thousands of years ago. I agree completely with the 'testing'. You will find lots of people that are married but don't have any sexual compatibility.

Although for example the Pope doesn't like contraception and relationships outside marriage, I know the vast majority of Italians do it and use condoms and live very happy lives.

Answer 4

no no no no. sex before marriage no. when you are married you shouldn't base it on sex you should base it on love. once you find that and get married it should be the first for both of you so it will be a great first experience of a husband and wife. that way it is not a sin and if you get pregnant it wouldn't be a problem because you are married. plus if you wait you won't know what it is like and once you do it with you spouse it will be the best because you will have nothing to compare it to. also what if you don't end up marrying that person. then the person who does marry you will not be the first so you can't experience gods greatest gift together.

Answer 5

I agree with you. Not a good idea to wait until marriage. I had a great boyfriend a few years back. Problem is, he wasn't very, let's say "supportive" and "helpful" in the bedroom. To make matters worse, he was so hung up on it, we couldn't even talk about it. If we had waited till marriage to have sex, that key difference wouldn't have become apparent until it was too late.

I don't think it's just a matter of "practice." Those of us who have had sex outside of marriage know that there's such a thing as "sexual compatibility." Some times you just don't jive with someone in bed.

Of course, Christians can view sex very differently. I noticed one answerer likened sex before marriage to "being used by a bunch of different guys." I certainly don't feel "used," I'm happy with my body, enjoy expressing my sexuality, and of course, there's no rules in my religion against sex before marriage, so I don't see what the problem is. However, everyone has to make their own choice, and if that's what feels right for them then more power to them. But please, can we all retire the cow/milk analogy? After all, we're not all looking to be "bought." Obviously Christian virgins aren't the only people who get married, so it's not really relevant.

Answer 6

From the book "Good News about Sex and Marriage" by Christopher West:

"2. Marriage certificate.

When a bride and groom stand at the altar and declare their consent before the Church, it’s not merely a formal recognition of something that already exists between them. At the moment they give their consent, bride and groom are fundamentally changed. They become right then and there (and only then and there) husband and wife. What did not exist five minutes before does exist now- a marital bond sealed by the Holy Spirit that, once consummated, can never be dissolved by anything but death.

Sexual intercourse is the expression of this bond. It’s the visible sign of this invisible reality. If this bond doesn’t exist between a man and a woman, sexual intercourse between them is utterly void of its ‘raison d’etre.’

Regardless of how much passion, feeling, and sentiment may be involved, such acts of intercourse can never be acts of true love. If the couple understand what sex and marriage mean, and live out of respect for that meaning, then the thought that they would have sex before God establishes the marriage bond between them (via their consent) is unthinkable.

A couple who is regularly engaging in sex before they marry, and sees nothing wrong with it, demonstrates that they don’t understand the meaning of sex and marriage. Such a couple will most likely fail to comprehend the significance of the marriage bond altogether. They’ll tend to reduce the change in their relationship to a piece of paper --- a “Marriage Certificate” --- and continue having sex as they always did.

The fact that the couple is now married does not automatically make their sexual union what it’s supposed to be. Sex is only what it’s supposed to be if it expresses the commitment to free, total, faithful, and fruitful self-giving. There are many married couples who have plenty of sex that actually violates their own wedding vows. The fact that it’s happening after the wedding has taken place doesn’t make it OK.

Instead of framing the discussion in terms of premarital sex vs. post marital sex, it’s much more accurate to speak of non-marital sex vs. marital sex. It’s impossible for unmarried ppl to have marital sex. They have no marriage bond to express, no wedding vows to renew. On the other hand, while the existence of marriage bond is no guarantee that sex will always be marital, it is absolute prerequisite for the possibility."

For more writings on the Body and Theology, you can check out his web site below.

Answer 7

Sex isn't the only way to "enjoy each other" before taking out a lifetime agreement of marriage. Plus, if you have sex before you marry or before you get to know that partner for some time (which is the best after marriage), then you could develop sexual diseases like AIDS.

In fact, some couples don't even marry to have sex. They marry to just be with someone or for some other reason. Sex isn't as big of a part of life as you might think. If you have sex before you marry, how is that going to help them get to know each other's true feelings and thoughts?

Plus, you could divorce your partner if you are dissatisfied after knowing about him or her. But if you have sex before you marry, that's just plain disgusting and the only thing you'll learn from your partner is whether he/she's horny or not.

There's also the risk of babies that you might have to cope with before you marry, which can cause really BIG problems.

I hope this answered your question.

Answer 8

Sex is not the only experience that we practice after marriage but we prefer to associate marriage with sex as it is the most enjoyable experience.Yet, my wife and have many things to share other than sex?The question is why don't we try these things before marriage?

Answer 9

The bible clearly sets out God's standards on this matter.
Relations are to be honourable by consent and are to be exclusive.
Such thinking is not in harmony with god's thoughts. Noble sentiments are not what god's way for us to live is. If everyone followed them we would reap the benefits as a whole.
And we shall see that day. Amen Hallelujah

Answer 10

Sex is only one part of a marriage. Tested beforehand? No, I do not agree. Make sure they enjoy each other? Sounds like you're trying to justify the sin of fornication, which is what God has called sex relations outside of marriage.
It is more than noble sentiment...it is sin against God, and let's face it- God isn't a kill-joy, He has set his words down for the benefit of mankind. You know all manner of trouble can also result from disobeying, this one especially.
Study what is REALLY behind this from the Bible. You'll soon realize there's trust issues, intimacy issues, etc. involved.

Answer 11

Well you know if you fancy each other. After that as long as your honest about your needs then why would it not work. I think you need to practice for it to be good. The main thing is that you have a twinkle in your eye for each other. That's the catalyst. Marry first then do all the practice.