I was never married to my childs father. I have not been with him in 2 years. I am now trying to go work in Japan and take my 3 year old daughter (who lives with me). Her father says I cant do that because he doesnt want her to leave. Can he stop me? If We are not married dont I have full custody of the child unless proven otherwise? He just recently(in January) started paying a child support ( a measly $189.00) because he doesnt have a job. Does that give him any right? His name is also on the birth certificate. I also tried to explain to him that I would get like 10 weeks of vacation and I would bring her back to visit, but he is trying to give me a hard time. This is the opportunity of my life , I have a BFA Degree and I cannot find a decent job here. He has nothing (no degree, no house, no job) and he is 11 years older than me and trying to stop me from doing whats best for me and my child. Some one help!! What can I do??
2007-04-15 07:54:39 · 24 answers · asked by budoanime 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
The job is a contract job on a year to year basis. If I go for just One year couldnt it be considered a vacation? We will not be going to live forever. Will That make a difference?
2007-04-15 15:27:39 · update #1
You can't just take the child out of the state or out of the country without the other parent's permission and this should be handled through Family Court at least in the USA. So get yourself to Family Court before you are charged with kidnapping.
2007-04-15 09:02:46 · answer #1 · answered by Patty G 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is paying child support, and is her biological father, then yes he can stop you, and if he takes you to court on the issue he will probably win, simply because once you are in a different country our courts can not make you come back, even if you promise too. He has nothing?????? He has a daughter, and obviously don't want to lose her. And $189.00 is better than nothing.
If you don't think it would be hard for him to be away from her for that period of time, why not leave your daughter with family here,and you come back to visit her with your 10 weeks of vacation? You wouldn't like that arrangement either would you?
2007-04-23 10:21:52 · answer #2 · answered by Cato 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless he is fighting you for custody you are free to go. If you have an opportunity to provide a better life for you and your child and expose your baby to other cultures go for it. Don't let $189.00 hold you two back. The only thing you should consider is if you daughter has a tight bond with her dad and if he busts his *** to make sure she has what she needs in a father. If he doesn't then he can wait for your ten week vacation times. Otherwise let him go to court about it, the courts will more than likely favor you since you are doing something positive with your life and he has nothing going for himself.
Live you life you only get one chance.
2007-04-23 13:46:16 · answer #3 · answered by sweetpeachoh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You failed to say if he's there for her emotionally. Do they have aclose relationship. Do he see his daughter on a regular basis? Have you considered how not having her dad in her life would effect her? It's so many things you need to take into consideration before you make such a big change in your in her life. I know plenty of good fathers out there struggle everyday just to survive. But because they don't own homes or drive nice cars some people will judge just based on that fact. I'm sure his situation haven't changed much meaning didn't you know his situation before you decided to have his child. Is money more important than your child having a healthy relationship with her dad? If you choose to leave any way you two need to sit and try to come to an agreement that's good for all three of you. He has more rights than you think. good luck.
2007-04-22 14:29:29 · answer #4 · answered by jacaueline p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a lawyer who practices family law and ask him/her these questions. He/she will give you the advice you need; follow that advice to the letter.
When/if you go to court about this, always approach any subject from the standpoint of what is best for your child. The court will almost always award sole custody to the parent who consistently acts from that standpoint. It would certainly seem more likely that you would be awarded sole custody, since your actions demonstrate a determination to provide financial stability for your child, as well as a better life.
Discuss all this with your lawyer. This does not have to be so difficult; you will most likely have the court on your side, so go for it!
2007-04-15 15:09:38 · answer #5 · answered by MomBear 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
$189.00? That's all? He must be crazy? Find a lawyer, get sole custody and make a better life for you and your child. But be warn if he fights this and wins ( which I doubt) you may end up paying for child support which in turns you will be taking care of him too.
2007-04-23 14:05:37 · answer #6 · answered by dlgwill68 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on wher eyou live and the rules inplace there. I know here in victoria, you have to get permission from the father *or other parent not living with child* to take the child out of the state. This has to be done through court if the other parent says no i believe.
2007-04-21 05:45:18 · answer #7 · answered by Simmy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have child custody agreement? There are 2 types, joint and sole. If so then follow the agreement stated. He can only stop you if there is stipulation in the child custody agreement.Otherwise the only thing that happens is he can stop paying child support if you leave.
I would file for sole custody before you leave so he can't after you are gone.
2007-04-15 15:17:20 · answer #8 · answered by Hi'Lo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless there is a court ordered custody/visitation agreement he can't say anything about it. He could try and take you to court if you move, but that costs money. Visitation and child support are completely separate. He can still visit and not pay (you could take him to court) or he could pay and never visit (he could take you to court) I would do what is best for you and your child. If he is a decent dad you should pay for your daughter to fly and visit him, since he probably can't afford it, and dads are very important.....hope this helped.
Cindy
2007-04-15 15:41:45 · answer #9 · answered by cindy g 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he is a dead beat and you can do whatever you want you don't have to tell him anything. Just to be on the safe side consult an attorney but once you and your daughter are in Japan what can he do. You are the childs mother and you have full complete custody do what you must to make a better life for you and your daughter. You ex is trying to control you and if he has nothing including no education why would you listen to him any way. He isn't formally educated on the law he is trying to intimidate you don't let him.
2007-04-15 15:04:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋