There was a time when I was that girl
That girl you wanted to hold, love, and twirl
You needed me and I needed you
I loved you and you loved me too
Why aren’t we still in that place?
What happened to your everlasting grace?
I am still the girl you used to know
I never thought that you’d sink so low
That day I met you, it felt liked I’d known your forever
You made me think that you would never
You made me feel like I had never been hurt
And that I didn’t deserve to be treated like a piece of dirt
Your smile was enough to help my tears
And keep away every single one of my fears
But now I’m just stuck in a moment
A moment that wasn’t meant to last
It is now just in the past
I bet you’ve moved on already
But you left me here, stuck in a moment that wasn’t meant to last.
2007-04-15 07:09:20 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Oh my goodness! I am floored! That was the most moving poem I have ever read! Follow your dreams! You will one day be a professional writer! Oh my goodness !!! That just spoke to me like no other writing has spoken to me before! You have an incredible talent! EMBRACE IT!!
-- ROCK ON
-- I am having a premonition
2007-04-15 07:12:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 4⤋
The poem is really good, but the last 5 lines seem to run on. Try to mix the words a little or add a few. Here is an Idea.
Never meant to last you left me in torment,
Now here and alone I am stuck in the moment.
I hope it helps.
2007-04-15 14:22:50 · answer #2 · answered by Jessica S. 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes
2007-04-15 14:11:23 · answer #3 · answered by player_862 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes. I think this poem is great. It is very touching. And your good writer. I like to write poems too. But I could never write one like that. So that is good. I think your good because in this poem you let your feelings out. GREAT JOB
2007-04-15 14:16:49 · answer #4 · answered by izziekittycutie929 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Not really. Half metered, half not. Broken rhyme patterns. Sorry.
Just looked over your profile. What's with all the drama? And how's that magazine job working out for you?
You're about 15, right?
2007-04-15 14:13:53 · answer #5 · answered by Alice K 7 · 1⤊ 3⤋
i like it except for the last part where you used "last" at the end of two lines to rhyme. you should take out one of those and replace it with something else
2007-04-15 14:13:11 · answer #6 · answered by fippypoo 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
tht is a beautiful poem..thanks for writin it..i'm in that predicament at this moment..it's really gr8 to know i'm not in this world alone with my emotions and thoughts
2007-04-15 14:15:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Nice job.
2007-04-15 14:17:05 · answer #8 · answered by Merry 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
uve got some talent girl
2007-04-15 14:13:36 · answer #9 · answered by Pisces 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is a good poem. It probably will not change your situation. It might make him feel guilty!
2007-04-15 14:14:02 · answer #10 · answered by Gidget 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋