He's 18 and I'm 14, are we ok?

Question

We've been together for about 3 weeks and its getting really hard not to do more... Kissing can only satisfy for so long. He will be turning 18 in about 4 weeks. We know that right now it would be a very poor decision to have sex. But there are other thing we could do but he is so worried about breaking the law by doing anything with me. We havn't made it past second base yet. And we only got there very reciently. He lost his virginty at 15, and I am still a virgin. So we all know he wants alot more than he is alowing himself to give. I just really want to have thing move faster, I'm not used to having to wait so long. Prom is this weekend, would it be ok if I tried more? I don't want any trouble I just want him.

Oh and if it makes a difference my parents are pretty ok with him being almost 18. So they are not likely to press charges.

Answer 1

yes its wrong. its real easy for 18 year old guys to take advantage of naive young 14 year old girls, as you have clearly illustrated. i think the stuatory rape aspect of this quandry is just but one facet of system of poor decisions. you really should not have gotten involved with him in the first place. i'm not going to judge you on your decision, but keep in mind that having sex on prom night with him is not going to be anything "magical". keep your virginity for a few more years and especially dont lose it on prom night or while you are intoxicated.

Answer 2

Please do not be offended but regardless of your young age or his age or level of sexual experience, you should NOT be anxious to do more after only 3 weeks of dating! I mean, I could see if it had been 3 years but if you are that anxious this fast at your age, that's a HUGE RED FLAG!!! Put the brakes on and as someone said before me, if he's worth anything he'll respect you and your wishes. Think about it, if he doesn't want to wait for the oral sex or intercourse or whatever else, HE IS NOT ANXIOUS FOR YOU because he already has you, that proves he is more interested in your sex! NOT GOOD! If you're lost, please re-read it. I am a 21 year old man, and I am genuinely concerned for your well being and I would only offer you advice that is guaranteed to work out in your favor. Be strong and wait. I can promise you that if you do what the immoral people tell you and "have fun," you'll pay dearly in the future whether you marry him or not. Again, no offense but, I can't understand what would influence a 14 year old girl to have sexual urges and seem to be knowledgeable enough to carry it out. That is not a good sign. I say this with care. What is legal or illegal should be the least of your worries!

Answer 3

While theoretically it sounds innocent enough in terms of number of years, the reality is that in terms of a mutual level of supposed maturity there is a lot more than four years here. At age 18 we are able to rationalize things a lot better than we could at 14. And let's not use the excuse women mature faster than men, because even if that were the case, an 18 year old man would still be far more mature than a 14 year old girl in terms of evaluation, rationalization, manipulation, etc. The only thing that the 14 year old girl will have over the 18 year old guy is that she is still at an age where she is still extremely impressionable and going through a lot of peer pressure.

Personally I don't think the two mix well and it's a very volatile situation to be in, so in my opinion I would have to say no it is NOT okay. I just wish your parents felt the same way.

If you feel it's okay and he feels the same, I'm certain it will be okay in the eyes of Bubba, that big biker dude with tattoos from head to toe who's in for life anyway, because if you two continue and he is prosecuted, Bubba will definately have a special place in his heart for him because he will most likely be labelled a 'child molester as well as fresh meat.'

Answer 4

PLEASE remain a virgin. You wont regret waiting. You are not grown up yet even though your hormones are working. He seems to know that this is wrong since he is ' worried about breaking the law' as well he should be because he is pretty much 18 and breaking it. It doesnt matter about pressing charges. You are not a match and love is not enough here. Try to both use your brains in this and cut off the relationship saying that in 5 years if you are still wanting to you can hook up again. Meanwhile you will see what I mean about your growing up. He should unselfishly know that it would be unfair to you at this young age since your preferences will change in the next few years . You dont want to end up pregnant do you? ( there is NO birth control method that is 100 percent effective) You sound smart so please dont give in to hormones!

Answer 5

First, research the laws in your state. It doesn't matter if your parents will press charges are not, it matters if it's against the law.

Second, only do what you are ready to do. Do NOT do anything just cause you know he's looking for it and you want to give it to him.

Third, if he's turning 18 in a few weeks then he's likely to go off to college soon. If you're 14 then you have a few years of HS ahead of you. Keep that in mind and realize that the likely hood of you two staying together for any extended period of time is low. I know you care about him but do you want to give your virginity to someone you're not sure will be around in 6 months?

Answer 6

You've only been together 3 weeks?
And, you want to do more than kissing.
Why don't you stick with "boys" around your age, like 13-15.
He's almost out of high school, you just started high school (or not even out of middle school yet). He has more experience than you, sexually. Of course, a teen aged boy wants to have sex with a virgin (or anyone who's decent looking and willing) Do you really want to have a LTR with this guy?
When I was in high school, my bf and I were 3 months apart. I got pregnant and had to attend a school for teen/pregnant mothers. ALL the other girls in there were impregnated by "men" in the 19-26 age group. And, the girls' age group was 13-17. A lot of the fathers bailed out on these girls and their babies. That made me sick to my stomach. Grown men preying on naive girls.
My advice to you,.......PLEASE be careful when things escalate to sex. Being a teen mother is so very hard.
As for me, after 14 years with my ex, which includes 9 years of marriage, we divorced. My eldest daughter is 14, and I would NOT be okay with her having a bf who's almost 18. Now, if she was 18 and he was 22, that's a different story, I'd be more willing to allow that age range.

Answer 7

You are jail bait at this point, as the age of consent in most states is 16. Being with someone who is considered an adult is nothing more than playing with fire, and your parents would be powerless to help if the authorities found out.
I doubt if anyone involved would want him ending up with a record, particularly as a sex offender.
You are too young to predict the consequences of your actions. In addition to the legal problems you are toying with, pregnancy and STDs are always possible.
Find a boy your own age.

Answer 8

Take your time hun, once you go there you cannot go back, you only have one shot at it make sure you are using it correctly, there are lots of issues involved here, one you are too young, I know it doesn't feel like it but it is so, when you get older you will realize this. One there is the legal side, the moral side and the health side. Having sex is something that is more than just a physical act, there are tons of emotions involved, and it can get pretty entangled, us grown-ups find it hard to deal with these issues so be warned.

Answer 9

It's been three weeks, I don't think you have to do anything more than what you're doing. If your in love with this guy then maybe it's different, but it's probably pure infatuation. I am 16 and I am still a virgin, and I don't plan on changing that any time soon. You need to let things come in time, and not rush it because of an age difference.

Answer 10

I'm sorry to say this. I'm a mom and have kids 13 and 11. I would not allow this. You are way to young for this person. What are you thinking ?. I think all he wants is to have sex with you. Guys like younger girls. Please be care full If you decide to go though with it. You do not need to get your self pregnant and this guy leave you. You should wait. I just wanted you to know that I have been their and done that. It dose not work. I was 16 and he was 22. yes he got me pregnant. The rest is history. But this is my look on it. Best of luck.

Answer 11

When I was 14 I was with a guy that was 20 and we lasted 12 years.The age difference may end up being a problem for you.If I could go back I would probably find someone younger. Now that I have kids I kinda wonder why guys that age want a girl that is 14??Why can't they find someone their own age? They really have nothing in common with girls that age.They are either out of school or almost out of school and starting a new stage of life--either college or working.I think 4 years isn't that much difference, but at 14 it is.Good luck.