I've been with my gf for 2 years now, and she has probably dumped me around 200 times in that time. She has a habit of over-reacting to little things and is to an extent emotionally immature and insecure.
I've tried my best to keep our relationship together, sadly this has involved me lying to her about certain things so not to worry her. However she has dumped me twice for quite long periods of time, first time was 3 months and second time about a month. Both those occastions i thought it was over and I slept with other people. Shes admitted to me she slept with others on the first long break, and i've delt with it myself. However shes very worried that I slept with others, although I lied and told her I hadn't.
What should i do? Im sure if i told her she would end the relationship for good as she definatly couldn't handle it. Yet how can i expect her to be honest and trustworthy when i am not? Also im worried for the effect lying all the time has on me as a person & character.
2007-04-15 06:23:07 · 22 answers · asked by fido_fuu 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
While you want to be with her, keep lying. When you want to end it (which you will), use it then to get rid of her.
2007-04-15 06:35:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't exactly sound like a match made in heaven as from your description she does sound somewhat overdramatic. I would say if you want to maintain the relationship for a short time longer then don't tell her as she would (from details provided) overreact and an argument would ensue. You have already told her you haven't and if you admit the truth you admit that lie which will possibly cause problems in itself but may be better for your mental wellbeing. The fact you do not wish to keep lieing seems that you have made a decision already and are seeking validation.
You seem unhappy in the relationship and to be honest if that is the case it would probably be better for both of you to finally call it a day and move on.
2007-04-15 06:40:14 · answer #2 · answered by sanchia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't know. is it really worth being with someone who dumps you at the drop of a hat? who tells you she slept with other people but can't stand it if you tell her the same thing (when, from what it sounds like, it's basically her fault)?
first, i'd say you need to get rid of this girl for good. but you are obviously concerned with holding it together which, in this case, means not telling her you slept with other people. unless any of those times was unsafe sex, which, at the least, obligates you to get an exam and make sure you check out ok, and at the most, to tell her about it.
basically, if you are determined to keep her, you already know you can't tell her. if you are ready to give her up, then do it, and it doesn't have to be just because you slept with some other people; sounds like there are plenty of other reasons.
2007-04-15 06:30:12 · answer #3 · answered by KJC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, you need to be honest. You both thought you were over and tried to move on with other people. I hope you both practice safe sex? I believe you both have a problem with each other and I'd be carefull not to set up getting hurt again. When she has a problem with you she tries to control it by running away. If you continue having a relationship with each other you both need to commit to working on problem issues together and working them out. No more running. After two years of being involved with each other it's time to be mature about things.You both have tried to be with other people, but the path keeps bringing you back to each other. Work on it for real this time and be honest. Till you both straighten out this relationship don't involve other people sexually again untill you know it's over. Best Wishes
2007-04-15 06:43:02 · answer #4 · answered by Lindsey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OY!! there are the form of fantastic form of unmarried women human beings in the worldwide, why do you need to become in touch with this one, who curiously won't have the ability to p.c. if she is unmarried or no longer? Legally separated means no longer something. She continues to be residing along with her husband. Are you insecure and jealous? of course you're! And with solid reason!! This gal is having her cake and ingesting it, too. She's have been given somebody looking after her at domicile and somebody on the string far off from domicile. And her 2 men are probable the two insecure and jealous of one yet another!! What an ego booster for this woman! This gal is undesirable information. She has no longer yet desperate if she can supply up the risk-free practices her hubby factors for her, or a minimum of she is unwilling to take action. financial strains my ****! This gal is enjoying you the two and you're the two so gullible to allow her. whilst a guy or woman rather seeks divorce from their better half, getting far off from them and out of the home is the 1st element on their time table. She is utilising you the two. finally end up a woman, no longer a legally separated tramp.
2016-12-29 13:30:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok you have to explore what you want are you happy in the relationship? Don't try to stay with someone just because you don't want to hurt them. Sounds to me like you both have some trust issues and it has been my experience that when there is trust issues there will always be trust issues. Yes I think you should tell her but she is more than likely goingn to me more upset with the fact that you hid the information from her than the whole being with other people thing
goodluck
2007-04-15 06:42:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she doesn't have much self-confidence. I used to be the same way! I would tell her if i were you, she will be ok with it at the beginning, but she WILL be jealous, even if she did it too. females are weird like that. I would tell her, but have a nice dinner or something and when you tell her make sure she knows that you love and care for her and those others didn't matter. It will help for a while at least, but don't be surprised if she brings it up later...again most girls are crazy like that when it comes to this sort of thing.
2007-04-15 06:30:22 · answer #7 · answered by vickie2391 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
when things have happened, it's often best to leave it at that, rather than bringing it up, i'm into being honest too, however weighing up the pros and cons of this first is a good idea, but you don't sound happy in this relationship, like you're treading on eggshells rather a lot, and it really isn't the best way to live, or for a fulfilling relationship.
2007-04-15 06:56:41 · answer #8 · answered by chakra girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can you have a relationship when you feel you're forced to lie just to get some peace? the truth can be hard, but the whole point of a relationship is that your other half shouldn't just be your sexual partner but your best friend. If you have to lie to sustain the relationship then you're digging yourself a hole - get out now before it gets too deep!
2007-04-15 06:39:21 · answer #9 · answered by scribbler767 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should be honest with the girl. Lying isn't good for any relationship. She may not want you back but ask yourself, do you really want her? If yu love her then why sleep with all these other people? It's time to come clean. Be honest and see where it goes.
2007-04-15 06:50:10 · answer #10 · answered by katem1992 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must love her a lot to keep going back.
I wouldn't tell her anything; if she reacts so badly and OTT for the slightest thing, it's not worth it. All of us have little pockets of things we don't tell our partners...for lots of reasons...it's not always about deceit...sometimes it's about self-preservation.
I would question the willingness of both of you to sleep so readily with others- almost as soon as the word"breakup" is mentioned. I would wonder about the ability of your relationship to last long term; are you going to get married? If so, what kind of marriage is it going to be?
It seems to be an unhealthy, destructive relationship for you both as it is?
2007-04-15 07:10:09 · answer #11 · answered by marie m 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋